TTC and Beyond!

[VivianJean]

I want a midwife and a doula - I'm considering home birth and certainly a birthing center.

I don't want an epis - the clinical evidence for it was derived from studies in the 1950's which have been debunked. A lot of recent studies show that there is a greater chance of a bigger tear and complications with an epis so I'm going to respectfully tell the doc to go fuck him/herself if I end up in a hospital and with someone holding a scalpel anywhere near my vajayjay.

I don't want an epidural, or pic. I'd rather explore all non-medical induction methods - sweeps, massage, acupuncture, stretching before I go there for the reasons already mentioned - it's a slippery slope. Causes stronger harder more painful contractions which can cause distress to the baby

I'd love a water birth whether I'm in a birthing center or at home.

I want skin to skin - I want the baby put on my chest immediately after birth - they can assess Apgar while he/she is there with me.

I want to breast feed - if there is a need for the baby to be taken and nursed while I undergo some form of treatment I do not want the baby to be fed with a bottle because it can cause nipple confusion and nursing problems - I want a spoon to be used so I have the greatest chance of nursing naturally and without complications.

I don't want them to apply eye-cream on the baby.

I want to be able to give him/her the first bath.

That's where i am right now anyway. I've got another 7.5 months to keep reading and learning.

 

[asmcsm]

Amelia, sounds like you and I are pretty much on the same wavelength as far as birth plan goes.

 

[asmcsm]

Fairly certain that I'm going puke at work today I think this baby likes to torture me by making me feel my worst on days where we're short staffed and I absolutely can't call in to work. Zofran isn't cutting it today

 

[brunettebimbo]

Episiotomys are the devils work!!! I didn't want one but was given one anyway. Worst thing ever! It took 3 weeks to being ok enough not to be in pain on sitting and around 6-8 weeks to heal. I had 2 infections in that time. I can honestly say recovery was horrendous!

 

[VivianJean]

Amelia, sounds like you and I are pretty much on the same wavelength as far as birth plan goes.

Yup.

I've been reading a bunch of birth stories to try to learn about what really happens... I mean you hear about options but you don't really learn about what the mean in a practical sense.

I've also been reading stories about women who really had to struggle against "dr's" recommendations and had to stand up for themselves in a hospital setting. It's helpful knowing what could be said and how to deal with it.

BB - that sounds rotten - I'm so sorry you had that happen to you. Hugs. Can I ask how it came to be that you didn't want it but you had it anyway?

 

[Disneybaby26]

I with you girls, as natural as possible!

In my perfect birth world I will labor at home as long as possible (we are only 15 mins from Yale New Haven where ill deliver). Really really hoping for no epidural (but hey, I've never been in labor). No epis, if I tear I tear. Ill be doing the massage as well.

I'm honestly more scared of an epidural tube oming out of my spine and a Foley catheter making me stay in bed (im a mover when im anxious and i think having to sit in bed will exacerbate that) than I am of natural child birth. It's going to hurt, I get it. I hate the way people look at you when you say you wanna go natural.

 

[VivianJean]

I with you girls, as natural as possible!

In my perfect birth world I will labor at home as long as possible (we are only 15 mins from Yale New Haven where ill deliver). Really really hoping for no epidural (but hey, I've never been in labor). No epis, if I tear I tear. Ill be doing the massage as well.

I'm honestly more scared of an epidural tube oming out of my spine and a Foley catheter making me stay in bed (im a mover when im ancious and i think having to sit in bed will exacerbate that) than I am of natural child birth. It's going to hurt, I get it. I hate the way people look at you when you say you wanna go natural.

I've had a spinal tap when I had meningitis which is the same as an epi in the sense that they stick a fucking enormous needle into your spine.

Once was enough.

 

[brunettebimbo]

Because in the UK Doctors pretty much do as they please. They needed to get Tristan out and just did it so I can't really complain.

 

[Disneybaby26]

My view at lunch- kinda obsessed with my bumpie today!

 

[RobertRedford]

ADORABLE bump, Kara!

I was with my friend during her labor, and it was difficult to see how little say she had. She is an acupuncturist and wanted her business partner to come and treat her during labor, but they said no. So, she went into the bathroom during contractions and needled herself.
Her nurse explained it well though, she said if there is a chance, even a teeny tiny slight chance that the momma or baby will be in distress, it is their job to avoid any complications. So, that often means that they have to take over and go against birth plans.

 

[HWPG]

i have no idea about birth.... i used to think i knew just what i wanted, but now, not so much.
in my mind, i see my water breaking at work and my manager (or someone else) having to call OH (or his manager) and this frantic movie scene of me in a chair breathing, him racing to get the car and pull it up front, etc etc. (OH and i work at the same company, fyi).
my pain tolerance is low, i'm a pretty big wuss. i think i'd like to pretend to want to do a drug-free delivery, but in reality i probably wont. i like the idea of laboring in a water bath, or even on a bouncy ball, but again, me = big baby, so we'll see when we get there. i guess my plan is "go with what i can deal with". and i would prefer no "scalpel in my vajayjay". i'm not even sure OH wants to cut the cord.....!
honestly, i just want to make it to 12 weeks at this point. or to my scan next week at 7 weeks. i'm scared every time i go the bathroom that there will be blood. so any current birth plan for me is on hold.

 

[Cowgirl07]

Kara that is so cute!
Mirolee-I have a potential plan but my pain tolerance is non existent lol.

 

[asmcsm]

I with you girls, as natural as possible!

In my perfect birth world I will labor at home as long as possible (we are only 15 mins from Yale New Haven where ill deliver). Really really hoping for no epidural (but hey, I've never been in labor). No epis, if I tear I tear. Ill be doing the massage as well.

I'm honestly more scared of an epidural tube oming out of my spine and a Foley catheter making me stay in bed (im a mover when im anxious and i think having to sit in bed will exacerbate that) than I am of natural child birth. It's going to hurt, I get it. I hate the way people look at you when you say you wanna go natural.

Yea, my uncle did that to me the other day on fb. Just because both his children's mothers gave in to an epidural he apparently thinks everyone will. Really pissed me off. And I'm the same way. I will be miserable if I had to be stuck in a bed the whole time. I don't like the idea of not being able to feel what's going on and not being able to trust my body doing it's thing. Plus, I want gravity to help do it's job, laying on your back the whole time makes the birth canal more compact which is only going to make it harder so I'd rather be able to move around and help baby move a little.

Amelia, sounds like you and I are pretty much on the same wavelength as far as birth plan goes.

Yup.

I've been reading a bunch of birth stories to try to learn about what really happens... I mean you hear about options but you don't really learn about what the mean in a practical sense.

I've also been reading stories about women who really had to struggle against "dr's" recommendations and had to stand up for themselves in a hospital setting. It's helpful knowing what could be said and how to deal with it.

BB - that sounds rotten - I'm so sorry you had that happen to you. Hugs. Can I ask how it came to be that you didn't want it but you had it anyway?

That was my fear, having a Dr. that insists on doing things that aren't necessarily needed because it's more convenient for them. I will still be in a hospital even with my water birth, but my goal with the midwife and doula is to avoid intervention if I can. Really hoping that baby doesn't try to come on the night that the Dr. is on call instead of one of the 2 midwives.

Episiotomys are the devils work!!! I didn't want one but was given one anyway. Worst thing ever! It took 3 weeks to being ok enough not to be in pain on sitting and around 6-8 weeks to heal. I had 2 infections in that time. I can honestly say recovery was horrendous!

so sorry they forced you to get one, that sounds awful!

 

[asmcsm]

Oh, I forgot that I'm also thinking I'm going to delay clamping the cord right away. I don't want to bank the cord blood so I'd rather baby got all the benefits of it.

 

[goldstns]

Oh Ill add that I want skin to skin asap and to breastfeed with no problems. Im ok with all the creams/shots/blood draws for Alia that the doc says she needs, I totally trust my OB and my pedi. I want at least DH to accompany Alia with first bath if I can't go.. if I feel up to it id like to go too. I am also having a Doula. I have one picked out and we are paying her and doing another meeting with her on Thursday. I believe we would have 1 more meeting with her before Alia comes... and then delivery and one meeting after Alia arrives. Have any of you looked into Doula's yet? What are they going for in your area? Ours is $700 and we might tip her $50 if we LOVE her or its a REALLY long labor.

I talked with doc yesterday about what the hospital supplies... so I might pull a few things out of my bag...
nip cream
vag spray
diapers
wipes
baby butt cream
mommy pads

However I did add my own pillow, she said there pillows suck.

 

[asmcsm]

My coworker is a doula, she said she would do it for free for me so I kinda lucked out there.

 

[morganwhite7]

I ttly agree with holding off a few mins on the cord clamping, I've read great stuff about that.. and why not? Bc the docs want to hurry on with their day? We will wait a moment too DH still says he might pass out if he cuts the cord, but hopefully I can make him haha. If not we'll have other family in the room.

My mom is a doula so she, of course, will be mine! And for free! So excited.. I think it will be my mom, my sister, Aaron, and his mom........................ I am so mad about that last one.. She said well if your mom is in there why can't I be? And your sister too? She made a big deal and I told her with Jaxon she could be in there and now she won't let it go. I'm afraid if I tell her no she'll turn into even more of a beotch than before :/ Decisions, decisions.

I also want to use gravity as much as I can, as long as I don't need an epi or whatnot, I can use a ball or be on all fours. This is bc when trying for VBAC, you MUST have fetal monitors attached AT ALL TIMES.. Our MW emphasized that. So, sadly, a water birth is out of the question for us :/

I also don't want induced, but they won't allow me to go overdue or I'll need a RCS. So either I go into labor on my own, early, or they induce me at 40 weeks. And trust me, I'm not too happy about that. But also not wanting my uterus to rupture or to need another hellish CS.

Oh and girls can you explain to me about the episiotomy? Ik, after reading, that tearing naturally can heal faster- but IIIII want that extra stitch!! Is that real?! Lol just want to do whatever jacks up my hooha the least.. not like it'll look wonderful after either way lol.

 

[TTCaWee1]

So I haven't really set any birth plan into place. But here are my thoughts.....

If doc tells me that there is even the slightest chance this baby is too big or isn't engaging or is breech - c-section. I'm not playing around with laboring forever only to end up with a c-section anyways.

If I have a vaginal birth I'd like to try to do it with just IV pain meds if I even need them. I have a very high pain tolerance and I can handle a lot of it. I woke up during hand surgery and felt every bit of it until they knocked me back out. I knew what my incision looked like before they took my cast off 2 weeks later bc I felt them make the incision. So that is by far "the worst pain I have ever felt in my life." I've had 5 surgeries on my hand along with nerve compression and having it reopened in the surgeons office to relieve pressure off the nerve. Oh and I walked around for 6 days with a bulging appendicitis and convinced them to discharge me after surgery lol. So yeah I can handle a lot of pain. What I can't handle is the possibility of my vagina being filleted open and not being able to pee or poop right. If I do have a vaginal birth I don't want DH down below my waist. I just don't think that's something he needs to see. I also want my sister in the room so she can photograph.

I'm all for all the baby treatments they do right away bc I know it is all necessary. I think most places to skin to skin and breastfeeding right away, but those are both things I want done. I want baby to room in with us as much as possible even if we are exhausted. And I want to be discharged as soon as humanly possible. As a nurse, I will prob not make a good patient letting other nurses take "care" of me. I'd rather go home and take care of myself lol

Then, not part of a birth plan, but we want to have a "meet the baby" party about a month or so after birth. Like a cook out in our back yard or something.

Oh and I plan to work up till delivery. Even if they cut me down to 8 hour shifts or make me do office type work. Our educator said that she can give me lots of projects that I can do on light duty.

So that's where I'm at so far.

 

[Cowgirl07]

I wouldn't want my mil in there, if you don't want her it is your choice Morgan!!

 

[morganwhite7]

^Katrina so you think it's okay to say no to her but yes to my own mother/sister? I think so but she doesn't agree. I am just not as comfortable with her in there and don't want to be bullied into doing something I don't want to do.. esp when this birth is going to be a REALLY big deal after how awful it was last time. I want this one MY way. Haha

And Rachel I ttly agree with you- just keep in mind that you can't have more than 3 or 4 (obv I already have one strike, but no baby to keep) csections. I'm sure you know that.. But I am ONLY trying for VBAC because I may want 4 in case we don't make another girl haha. I want to stop at 3, or heck even 2 if it's a girl/boy, but I would be devastatedddd to be told I couldn't try again if I wanted to. Obv in your case it's different though. I would MUCHHH rather have a CS and just know that the baby will be a-okay, no worries. I am still debating it, the last thing I'd want is a complication all bc I wanted to try for VBAC, but that was a tough decision I had to make. And who knows how it will even end up