TTC and Beyond!

[Cowgirl07]

Yes. I wouldn't want my sister there but the point is for you to be comfortable. It is about you and the baby. If your not comfortable with her there don't do it. I don't think its worth it. She can wait outside.
Of course this is from the girl who has never been pregnant.

 

[HWPG]

i will NOT be having either MIL in the room with me! no. nope. nada.
my mom didnt think she'd want to be in the room but then she was there during my nephew's delivery, and it sounds like at some point you're just like "whatev". i could go either way on my mom - maybe OH will have a stronger feeling about this.
my bff didnt even tell her family she went into the hospital. they didnt want people waiting - in the labor room or in the waiting room - so once she had the baby (like 2 days later and after a C-section), she finally called/texted them saying the baby was here. ha! she even told ME she was going to the hospital, but not her family! i think my OH thinks that is a great plan, buy i'm doubtful it will go down that way. i have a strong feeling my mom will be checking in every day.
i like the idea of a "meet the baby" visit - fortunately, Labor Day weekend is about 1 month past my EDD, so that will work out nicely! i am waiting for OH to tell his bio-mom about me - and we've gone back and forth about this, but i'm curious what you ladies think: his mom comes to visit us for 3 weeks at a time about once per year. he thinks that if he tells her, she'll want to come right about when the baby is born. i told him i think this is a BAD idea: we'll both be overwhelmed, tired, adjusting, irritated, etc - and really dont need his mom around. i think she should come visit more towards the end of my maternity leave, when we've at least got an idea of what means what as well as needing some extra help transitioning to daycare. OR she can come earlier in the year, when i'm pregnant, and then come again in 2015 when the baby is like 6 months or something. thoughts?

 

[Cowgirl07]

Mirolee-I don't think she needs to come right away, it will be hectic as it is. Give it time for mom dad and baby.

 

[morganwhite7]

Lol no I think you're right haha. And I just want my sister there since she feels responsible for what happened to Jaxon. When we had to take him off life support, it was because (but not really, God has a time for everything!!) she asked to hold him, since she hadn't gotten a chance yet. And everyone came and went during our hospital stay, but she stayed EVERY MINUTE for 14 days, bringing us whatever we desired, sleeping on the floor etc. She was/is so awesome. But yeah, she wanted to hold him and as soon as the nurse got him onto her chest his vitals plummeted and she just started sobbing saying "oh no, I didn't mean to" and whatnot. It was so, so awful. It was his time, had nothing to do with her.. in fact, I had just held him 20 minutes before with no problems. But she carries that with her and I feel like letting her watch another be born will let her know how much we love her and hopefully make her feel better seeing a birth instead of witnessing a death. If you know what I mean!

I just can't wait. I want it to be so special. I just hope it goes according to plan!!!

Oh and I love the "meet the baby" party idea too. My mom is trying to convince me to save my baby shower until a week or two after she's born. She said it could help with post-partum depression (if that's an issue) and just be nice to get everyone together to meet/spoil her.

Mirolee- I agree, maybe while preggo so she can spoil you/babe and then once (s)he is a few months old to snuggle IRL.. but after you've had time to adjust

 

[VivianJean]

Um Morgan - fuck her.

That's all I have to say.

She's out. *kicks MIL out of birthing room*

"and stay out until Morgan tells you you can come back in"

 

[asmcsm]

I'm also planning to have DH, my mom and sister in there. And I also don't think anyone needs to be down in full view of my vag lol. I believe our hospital allows 4 people so with my doula that makes 4. No way in hell my MIL is coming in. I don't think I could handle her in there. I love her, but sometimes(especially with the help of pregnancy hormones) she just drives me batty.

 

[VivianJean]

My mother is going to want to come to help...

Augh.

I want her but I don't want all the damaging negative energy she brings. I really want this baby to be cocooned in the love that Pete and I have for it.

 

[Cowgirl07]

I think he went because she finally got to hold him, he knew that she loved him and was waiting for her. I am not that close with my sister and besides she would probably say the baby looks like an alien or something. I don't see kids in her future unless they are adopted. I was engaged at her age which is funny to think about. We are just different.

 

[morganwhite7]

Bahahahaha Amelia I wish you lived closer, we would be wonderful pals lol. Wish you could bring your "balls" to my delivery room too to tell her that haha, she's a scary one.

But I am growing a pair as we speak, gonna tell DH tonight I have changed my mind and see if he agrees or thinks she'll cause a fuss about it.

Katrina- My feelings EXACTLY! She was 110% dedicated to him and to us those 2 weeks. I believe it was meant to happen that way, and tell her everyday how thankful I am that she was so brave and did that for me. I could have never decided "when" was the right time to let him go (they said we needed to do it that day). She did it for me, and I am forever grateful for that.

 

[TTCaWee1]

Morgan - I say it's your choice and you have whoever you want in there. Don't feel pressured to have her in bc your mom is going to be in there. I wouldn't have my mil in there or my bio mom. I would have my step mom but I just want to limit it to DH and my sister for pics.

Mirolee - my parents and my siblings are all coming for this baby's birth since we have no family in SC. My mom called shotty on our guest room and we were like NO. Flat out. There are some nice hotels right down the street. My parents (dad and stepmom) already said they are staying in a hotel bc we need time to figure it out on our own and don't need a bunch of parents jumping in the mix. They will prob be at the house all day but as far as sleeping, they will all be staying in a hotel. Or they can throw up a tent in my back yard lol. It sounds mean but in those first few weeks, I think we all need night time and our own private time to adjust. Now if they want to stay with us until birth, I'm cool with that but not once we come home.

Honestly my dad and my stepmom wouldn't drive us nuts if they stayed with us the whole time but my mom is overbearing and I can't pick and choose. Plus my parents already said they are staying in a hotel so we can have our own time.

 

[clynn11]

Watching the business of being born now.

I plan to try for an all natural water birth at the hospital. No IVs, no interventions would be my ideal birth.

Kevin and my mom will most def. Be there. 2 of my sisters have said they want to be in there. And I think im going to ask MIL if she wants to be but I dont think she will.

 

[asmcsm]

Seriously Morgan, who gives a shit if her feeling are hurt that you don't want her in there with you. You've already had one traumatic birthing experience that didn't go the way you imagined it would. This is about you and you being comfortable and as stress free as possible. If she can't deal with that then she can piss off. It's not about her. It's about you, DH and that little one and what you want.

 

[asmcsm]

Watching the business of being born now.

I plan to try for an all natural water birth at the hospital. No IVs, no interventions would be my ideal birth.

Kevin and my mom will most def. Be there. 2 of my sisters have said they want to be in there. And I think im going to ask MIL if she wants to be but I dont think she will.

Cassidy, I'm pretty sure St E's limits it to 4 people. Just a heads up. I've been meaning to watch Business of Being Born again for like the 4th time lol.

 

[clynn11]

I agree morgan. If you don't want her in there she shouldn't be in there. All it will do id add more stress for you and marley.

 

[TTCaWee1]

In my mind I've always thought that the gift of childbirth should be reserved for the baby's father. Then like in the movies, daddy gets to run out to the waiting room and yell "it's a girl!" And everyone gets to hug him and congratulate him. Then once your vagina is all closed back up all the family comes in and meets the baby. I just want it to be a bonding experience for me and DH and our baby. It's the start of our family and I don't want any interference from anyone else. As I'm typing this I'm thinking I may not want my sister in there. I haven't even asked her yet bc I'm not 100% sold on the idea.

 

[TTCaWee1]

We get to experience carrying the baby, I want DH to have his own experience with her first.

 

[HWPG]

ttc, i like that idea a lot!

 

[asmcsm]

I agree Rachel, it would be nice to have it just be DH and I but to be frank DH is probably going to be a little freaked out lol. And I'm a little worried about him passing out or something. He flat out said that if I had a c-section he doesn't think he could handle it. So my mom for sure will be there.When I was miscarrying and DH had to work she came over and made me food and cleaned and cleaned the litter boxes. Most likely my sister will be too. SHe was at her bf's birth so I know she can handle it.

 

[morganwhite7]

Haha thanks girls, you rock. I initially said "yes" only because Aaron's brother just had a little girl (she's 2 now) and apparently the babymama (she's left him since) said I DO NOT want her in here!!! I tend to agree with her feelings, MIL is great and all but really gets under my skin. So MIL asked me- "you're not gonna do what Dee did to me right?!" I just kind of turned red and said no..... Lol. So that's why I got stuck in this position. But DEF not gonna let it happen now. I agree, there's only one moment in your life where you give birth for the first time (not that Jaxon isn't still my baby, but I DO NOT remember even being told I was going to give birth, I just woke up and my belly was gone :/). I am not going to let someone step on me and my wishes

And Ashlee I forgot to say those pics of your DH icing cookies are presh!! Haha my DH helped me decorate the tree and I thought it was so cute. Men doing things like that melts my heart!! haha

And I agree, we carried them and felt their kicks for MONTHS.. the least we can do is let our OH have those first moments. Awwww I can't wait to admire him holding her, and I can't wait to see his face. I'm sure it'll be priceless!

 

[asmcsm]

LOL thanks Morgan, he was like"why are you snapping all the pics?" lol