TTC and Beyond!

[CantHrdlyWait]

Mom's and MIL's can sure be annoying. My mom is on me about EVERYTHING! She is constantly telling me that I need to eat healthy, not take Tylenol so much, and then the other day she said "let's discuss your birth plan!" I was like "Uhhh, what?" she's trying to be helpful and I appreciate a lot of what she does for me, but I think it's hard for her to remember that even though i'm her daughter, that i'm a grown woman and I can figure things out for myself. It drives me up a wall sometimes. Luckily, MIL doesn't give us any trouble. We haven't seen or talked to her in almost 3 months. It's like they have no idea we are even having a baby.

 

[Ingodshand]

My water broke!! Haha April fool's!!

Nothing new to report, but headed to the doctors soon for a checkup and hopefully will see some progress!

Julie- April is going to be so much fun!! Cannot wait for all the babies!!

Sandy- will post the recipe later when I get on my computer.

Morning everyone else!!

 

[HWPG]

morning ladies!
here is my MIL rant - a little background first (just in case): my bf came from Russia when he was 16 and styaed with an American family. we call them the "host" family. his mother and father stayed in Russia. his dad passed away in 2011, his mom is still alive and living in Moscow. this story is about host-MIL.
first, we hate each other. perhaps that is too strong, but there is no love between us. i have tried and tried to get her to like me, but it's not gonna happen, so i've moved into the "support yet ignore their reltaionship" stage. basically this means that if OH wants to visit her, he goes without me and i happily go shopping and eat fast food the weekends he's gone, and host-MIL and i have no interaction. we see each other once a year, at Thanksgiving. anyways, my mom sneds OH an email asking for host-MILs email (i would think to send an invite for my baby shower). OH tells me that "host-MIL doesnt do these things (showers) and not to invite her". i say to him" she can be like everyone else who doestn want to go and politely decline".
him: well, we already had this conversation and she said just not to invite her at all.
me: well, that's not how my family works. we will never assume you dont want to go - you will always be invited, and the choice to attend or not is yours
him: but i'm telling you she doenst want to go
me: and i'm telling you that she can RSVP "no thank you".
him: (hem, haw, mutter). well i'm gonna hear about it
me: and when you do, you can tell host-MIL to a) decline and b) go fuck herself. because this is her first 'grandchild' and she doenst want to be apart of this celebration before it's even been planned.
him: we'll celebrate the baby when we visit her
me: that's not how showers work. it's so everyone can get together who loves me, us, this baby, and celebrate together. but it's fine - i dont want her there anyways.
him: (hem, haw)
me: you know what? i dont even care that she goes, i dont. but it sucks that she'll be playing the role of 'grandma' on your side, and she doesnt see the need to even be invited. and it sucks that she said that to you. and it sucks that you didnt say to her "then just decline when you get the invite". she shouldnt put you in this position.

then he went on to say that she wouldnt go to one of her other childrens showers (to which i promptly disagreed and gave examples which he couldnt argue with). i called my mom today and told her to send the invite but not to ask for ANYTHING else - that i didnt want host-MILs input on anything. no "would you like to contribute X?" or "would you like to go in on this together?". host-MIL has some choices to make coming up - she doenst have to like me, but she has to tolerate me AND treat me like family, even if shes faking. i'm her theoretical daughter in law. and guess who gets to be in charge of baby K's schedule and visitations? me. i wont *not* let baby K see her, but it surely wont be on her schedule or terms. and for each situation where OH and i have to have a conversation about why she sucks so bad and why shes so..... mean isnt the right word, more like purposefully excluding me from her life.... guess who gets hurt? OH. our conversation even circled around to the fact that all i do is support their relationship while staying out of it, which works the best for him. and the only time i talk trash about her is like this - otherwise i'm all "go see your host-mom" and "call your host-mom".
ugh. sorry. huge vent. i just dont understand people. fine, hate me, cut me out of your life. but seriously? she has to know that her actions have a negative effect on me, and in turn will effect her relationship with my child. i refuse to let her have this unilateral relationship with baby K just thru OH. thats not how it works.
i could go on - give so many examples of situations where i was excluded from, hurt, ignored while in the same room, etc - but i've already written too much. sorry for the huge vent. well, not sorry, i feel better! but you know

 

[Cowgirl07]

She sounds terrible Mirolee! I'm sorry you have to deal with that

 

[Lotalaughs16]

ugh Mirolee, that sounds awful. I don't understand how people can act like that.

I only read what was on this page, sorry ladies... I was swamped at work yesterday barely even ate lunch. I have to catch up on the rest of my work to day but I will try my hardest to jump on and at least read form this point on today and try to catch up later on the 25 pages I missed.

Please give me some spark notes of what has happened...is any one in labor? are there any new babies? any new gender reveals?

 

[Ingodshand]

Mirolee- she just sounds so jealous and awful. I am so sorry you have to deal with her!

 

[goldstns]

experiment:
Alia had a blow out with poo. Here is her onesie pre-sun. Today it is sitting on my window ledge. Let see what it looks like in a few days. It is sunny with a few clouds here today. Hope you can see the stain in this picture.

 

[HWPG]

thanks gals. i know it might sound dramatic to some of you, but this woman is horrible. i'm not sure how she thinks she can continue to cut me out of her life like you cut a person out of a family picture - people make choices and choices have consequences.

nikki, yeah, you can def see that stain!

 

[CantHrdlyWait]

Ugh Mirolee!! what a bitch! I could NOT deal with that. Does he talk to his real mom at all?

 

[wavescrash]

Mirolee - Ugh that is just awful. I'm sorry you're having to deal with this/her and sorry he's being put in this position because of her. What a selfish woman.

Nikki - Good luck with the stain removal! So far we haven't had any blowouts but I know we did with Hannah so I'm sure our time with Leah will come. Hopefully not today now that I've said this lol.


AFM - I think Leah's belly button is healing improperly and need to get to her doctor to have them put silver nitrate or whatever on it to dry it out but don't have any way to get there since OH works during the week and we only have 1 car. Contemplated going to the ER when he gets home from work but I don't want to waste their time with something I should be seeing her ped for, you know? I just don't want to let it go but don't know how else I could get to the doc. My parent's are down to 1 car otherwise my mom could come during the day. My sister is in school & working full-time and doesn't have much free time during the day otherwise she would & those are basically my only "chauffeur" options.

Hannah's been at my grandma's since Saturday and should be coming home tomorrow. Maybe Thursday but likely tomorrow. I've missed her but I will say it was nice to get to nap during the day yesterday & straighten my hair and put on make-up today. Plus she was able to go to the playground and go for walks outside (not something I really want to do in our apartment complex & we're on a busy street/main road with no sidewalks) as well as play with a little boy her age. So it was good for her, that's for sure.

Quite awhile back I mentioned OH & I discussed moving out of state, possibly to Virginia or one of the Carolinas. Well about a month or so ago, one of my friends in Texas (San Antonio) basically said we should move there and they'd help us out where they could (i.e. letting OH stay with them while he looked for a job.) I actually may have mentioned this because I think I remember a few of you telling me about Texas. Anyway... ever since we've been talking about it on & off, never really intensely or anything. Whenever the weather gets really cold/snowy/shitty, we tend to bring it up how we just need to move to Texas already lol. Or when my Mom is being particularly annoying we talk about how we just need to move far away from her. Recently OH said when we get our tax return next February we should just use that to move down there. Now obviously we have a lot of talking to do regarding the issue and the way things go in my life... by the time next year rolls around, that idea might be totally scrapped but I really hope it's something we can stick to/do.

I Mapquested the drive for the heck of it and it would take about a day not including stopping. However the route I saw would take us through some pretty cool cities so I'd like to make a mini road-trip out of it & visit some of those major cities we'd pass through -- Louisville KY, Memphis & Nashville, Little Rock AK, Dallas & Austin, TX.

My biggest concern is the logistics of it all. I've moved out of state several times but only for myself. Never with kids/family so I don't know the best way to do something like this lol.

 

[Disneybaby26]

IT'S APRIL!!

5 babies coming this month?!? 3 of them diamond wearing little princesses!! I'm SO exited!!!!!

Morgan, how are you feeling?!

Mirolee- she sounds awful! I have a girlfriend in basically the same position and she has made it Very clear that she doesn't care if her husbands mother likes her or not-she will not see the baby without her there. Will you let OH take the babe to visit without you?

Julie- our ped doesn't do a consult before hand but they have an amazing reputation and I went there when I was a kid, and a lot if the doctors are actually the same and I'm very comfortable with the practice. Also, they always have a doc on call at yale, so when we deliver they just come check her out right then and schedule the first visit!

Thank you girls SO much for our little gifts!! Can't even have enough recieving blankies and they are so adorable!! Thanks Amanda for taking care of that for all of us!!

 

[HWPG]

no, baby K will not be visiting host-MIL without me there for oh... i would say like 4-5 years. partly because of her poor attitude, partly because when OH goes there, he does all her house projects - painting, digging, mowing, cutting down trees, loading wood, etc etc. This means that he would be occupied with said project, and she would be in charge of entertainment/parenting/disciplining/etc. And NOPE, not ok with that! i'm positive my child is going to be smothered by me (in a lets talk about your feelings and it's ok to cry when you fall down type of way), and i'm positive that is not her parenting style. although she did tell OH she was going to knit booties - i'm thinking about burning them in some ritualistic manner
and yes, he talks to his bio-mom in Russia every Sunday. sometimes we skype with her. she has come to visit once per year every year since we've been dating, and stays about 3 weeks. we are not sure if she is coming this year, actually. the vacation time in Russia is not like America, for sure. plus cost and timing - we aksed her not to come in August, although any other time is fine, but we dont know how that works for her employer and such. but Olga loves me, and she reminds OH all the time to be good to me, and that i'm awesome No qualms there

 

[HWPG]

on a different note, i got a "free carseat canopy" coupon code - i ended up getting a whole caboodle instead, recommended by a friend, but the code still applied (-$50). then i got an email from the sister companies - sevenslings, babyleggings, nursingpillow, a few others - with a coupon code for them as well. so i'm ordering the Minion 5 pairs of leggings, cost is s&h. i know some of you have done this also, but i didnt know if anyone else wanted the code to use. it's good for all the websites.

 

[Cowgirl07]

Yay for all the babies!
Mirolee glad his bio mom is supportive.
Amanda I love Texas.
Afm my afternoon headache has commenced. I broke down and took some ibuprofen.

 

[clynn11]

Grrr Mirolee that makes me mad that host-MIL is such a B. She needs to be supportive of both of you, not just your OH. That's not fair and not how it works. And OH need to stand up to her for you it sounds like- because her treating you like that is NOT ok!

Katrina- sorry about the headache

Kara- Holy crap over 37 weeks! She's gonna be here anytime!!

Sarah- FX for some progress!!!

BB- I'm sure 8dpo will be fine!

Brittney- not too much has happened. Morgan's been having some contractions but I saw on her IG that she hasn't progressed and is being sent home from L&D. Kayla (Kirby) found out she's having a girl and announced on FB, but she hasn't been on here much. Katrina is on femara and we're all keeping our FX. BB has O'd (we think) and will be going in for testing on 8dpo. Amanda (RR) is going in for a D&C unfortunately How have you been?

Waves- I saw the pic you posted of her belly button and I agree it does look a little odd and irritated. I would take her in to ER if you have to, if that's the only time you can get there. You gotta do what you gotta do!

 

[wavescrash]

Morgan's been having some contractions but I saw on her IG that she hasn't progressed and is being sent home from L&D.

Waves- I saw the pic you posted of her belly button and I agree it does look a little odd and irritated. I would take her in to ER if you have to, if that's the only time you can get there. You gotta do what you gotta do!

Yeah, I was gonna post here after seeing Morgan's IG... she said she's 2cm dilated, almost fully effaced, -2 station & (what looked like regular) contractions but not making more progress apparently. FX for you Morgan, thinking of you & Marley. Hope she stays put a little longer for you just for developmental reasons on her end but I know you're ready to meet her & get this prodromal labor over with lol.

Thanks Cassidy. My friend just commented that her oldest son's looked like that when he was younger too and she had to have the silver nitrate to heal it (which is what Leah's doc said she'd need.) Said the doc told her it wasn't really a concern so I guess I don't need to make an ER trip out of it. Seems that no harm will come in waiting. I posted about it on my mommy group the other day when it was crusty-looking and several people said that they can't feel it so it doesn't bother them. That's my biggest worry about it is if it's hurting her or if it'll get infected and obviously hurt her/make her sick. I'll have to see if my sister has any free time and try to get an appt during that time.

 

[pdxmom]

Hello Hello Ladies, it took me close to a week to really read and about everyone...now tht i have its difficult to remember everything

Firstly Amanda im soo soo sorry u have to go thro this hun....lifes not fair with throwing so many bad shots your way...hang in there and im sure things will turn around hopefully soon...also best of luck for your situation with ex and baby daddy...i know its a confusing time...

Morgan - gosh ur having contrations...jeeshh...as much i want to c beautiful marley i hope she cooks for sometime more...loved your shower pics on fb...u look so cute...im sure baby jaxon was so happy for both mama and daddy

Julie - cant believe youre still going strong....u rock girl!!!! uve done sucha brilliant job making those babies....so proud of u...

Kara - almost there sweetie almost there....

Sarah - i wish youre water had really broken and it wasnt an april fools joke hopefully soon..

Mirolee ur so gud at still working out and keeping fit...kudos babe...it suck about your mil...i would ideally tell u dont let it get to u but i know it does bcos my mil gets to me ALL THE TIME even tho she stays thousands of miles away...but bottom line is your baby your decisions...too bad if anyone feels bad or any other emotion

Cassidy love your tummy pics tht u post on fb...looking gud hun

Katrina woohoo for femera...not long for tht BFP hun...all these side effects will seem so worth it in the end...

Nikki - i truly believe in the sun whitening thing...in India most people cloth diaper and they have ALOT of sun and trust me u can never c stains on those fabrics...my mom insists tht i shud cloth diaper too which i really want to do and given tht baby will b coming just in the beginning of summer we shud not have any shortage of sun so hopefully ill manage to cloth diaper at least for the first 6 mths and once the rain starts i dono wat ill do

Amanda all of your girls r gorgeous...leah is soo soo cute....love her hair colour...and about her belly button if u really r stuck with transport u shud consider goin to the er in the hrs tht u can move out of the house...i guess its better than to land yourself and baby esp in pain and suffering

 

[wavescrash]

Amanda all of your girls r gorgeous...leah is soo soo cute....love her hair colour...and about her belly button if u really r stuck with transport u shud consider goin to the er in the hrs tht u can move out of the house...i guess its better than to land yourself and baby esp in pain and suffering

Thanks so much dear I wish I could get a picture to truly capture the red tint in her hair when the sun hits it. I hope it doesn't fade or change too much.

I can't believe you're already almost 31 weeks. Hope you're doing okay and feeling well!!

 

[pdxmom]

Amanda all of your girls r gorgeous...leah is soo soo cute....love her hair colour...and about her belly button if u really r stuck with transport u shud consider goin to the er in the hrs tht u can move out of the house...i guess its better than to land yourself and baby esp in pain and suffering

Thanks so much dear I wish I could get a picture to truly capture the red tint in her hair when the sun hits it. I hope it doesn't fade or change too much.

I can't believe you're already almost 31 weeks. Hope you're doing okay and feeling well!!

Im doing gud hun...i have my days tho...main issue i face everyday is the freaking back pain...its killing me...i dont have any lower back pain strangely its all mid and upper back...i just dont know how to help myself...other than lying down no other posture seems to work...i have a dr app on fri i was goin to ask him whether muscle oitments r ok to use..things like bengay and stuff..have any of u ever tried them??

 

[wavescrash]

I think I used something like that during my pregnancy with Hannah but I can't remember for certain. I remember hurting my lower back at work when I was like 10 weeks pregnant or something and I think I used Bengay and one of those Icy-Hot patches on my lower back. But like I said, I can't recall for sure so I don't wanna say "go ahead" in case I'm wrong lol.