TTC and frustrated. How am I supposed to "relax"?

[mssquishy]

Hello ladies. I'm new to this forum but am very happy to have found this place. Hubby is 31 and I'll be 31 in a few weeks. I've had normal and consistent periods ever since I first had them at 12.

I was on TTC cycle #4 for our first baby until AF arrived yesterday. I am beyond frustrated and beginning to lose hope. I realize its been only 4 months but I really didn't think it would take more than a few tries. I ovulate every month (proof via OPKs and EWCM) and we BD at the right times. The one thing I must admit was I was really stressed during two of the four cycles (due to work and issues at home). Hubby keeps telling me to relax, we'll get there and that he has faith. How am I supposed to "relax"? What does it mean to not "stress" about it when I really want to have our child...like RIGHT NOW?

Anybody out there have any helpful advice/tips/stories to share?? I need hope...

 

[MiaMama]

Hello!

Well it is a difficult question... It took me time to relax!
I removed my IUD on April 30th 2015, then my first 2 cycles have been very frustrating since I was always late and never pregnant... Probably my body needed time to recover.
Then I got an interview for a new job so decided to track ovulation (to check if my regular cycle was back) and not trying. I ovulated in the right time, my periods came on time but I did not get the job. So I did waste a month of TTC... I was very sad.
Then we tried again. First month nothing, periods right on time.
Second month, 4 days late, pregnancy test positive but few days later: periods... It was a chemical pregnancy...
Then I came to a point I relaxed by myself. I don't know how to explain but the stress of being pregnant was no longer there, and I was feeling better, I would say relieved.
I am waiting for my periods now, let's see if it's coming or not, I am 9dpo.

I would say it takes time to admit this is not an easy process when we are ready and want a baby so badly. But with time you will figure this out. And my best advice would be: don't make other people stress you by telling you to not stress. It was the most difficult part for me. I wanted to share and my friends were telling "you are way too stressed", which was stressing me even more. Just listen to yourself: your body, your heart, your mind. I hope this help!

And I wish you a lot of baby dust!

 

[Amygdala]

Agreed. Don't listen to the "you're too stressed, it'll happen once you relax" bullshit. If you're stressed, you're stressed, and there's nothing wrong with that. Tbh I don't think you can make yourself relax anyway. By all means try, if YOU would like to but don't pile on the pressure to relax! You could try meditation? There's a general relaxation cd by the woman who made the hypnobirthing cd, both very good. I'll try and find you the link.
About your 4 months of trying, all I can say is that sometimes it takes a little time. I know it feels like it's been a lifetime already, trust me, I remember. But really 4 months isn't very long and I'm sure it'll happen for you soon. In the meantime, if you're that type of person (I am), maybe it would help you to try some off the things people do to help ttc? I'm talking grapefruit juice, evening primrose oil, zinc for daddy-to-be, pre-seed... Sometimes it just helps to feel like you're doing something, like you're not helpless in this.
Best of luck, I hope it happens soon for you!

 

[Amygdala]

Here's the relaxation cd: Relaxation and Stress Management: Self Hypnosis: A Self Hypnosis CD https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/1905220170/ref=cm_sw_r_awd_ryEiwb8H4SSEZ
https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/1905220170/ref=cm_sw_r_awd_ryEiwb8H4SSEZ

 

[MiaMama]

Here's the relaxation cd: Relaxation and Stress Management: Self Hypnosis: A Self Hypnosis CD https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/1905220170/ref=cm_sw_r_awd_ryEiwb8H4SSEZ
https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/1905220170/ref=cm_sw_r_awd_ryEiwb8H4SSEZ

I take a class of Mindfulness Based Stress Relief (it's more for professional purpose) but we do meditation, yoga and body scan. It also helps me a lot with relieving the pressure of TTC. Try this mediation from Amygdala, it can help.

And thanks Amygdala for the link! I'll try too

 

[KatO79]

Getting pregnant isn't only about BDing at the right time and Oing. Even doing that, it can take up to 1 year to conceive. You only have a 20% chance each month even if you O and have timed BD "perfectly". Relaxation can only take you so far. If either you or your DH has an issue, all the relaxation in the world may not help.

Wait until 1 year and then start asking your GP to start getting you both tested.

I've been trying for 2 years, been through 6 failed medicated IUIs and starting long protcol IVF today. We have "unexplained infertility."

I hope that your journey is much shorter as being a LTTTC'er is not fun at all