TTC, applying for new job. What would you do?

[CS10]

Hi ladies,
I'm really struggling to decide what to do... I've seen a job I really want to apply for but are also ttc after we lost our son in October. I work in education and if I get the job wont start until September. Really hope to be pregnant by then, I will still get maternity pay so that is not really an issue, just feel bad. Do you think it will be very dishonest to apply knowing full well that i'm trying for a baby and if we are successful, won't be there for very long before I go on maternit leave again.

Unhappy at my current school, they've been very unsupportive and have done nothing to make my return to work easier so don't feel like staying there.

If only I had a crystal ball to see how long it will take to get pregnant again.

Any advice, opinions much appreciated.

 

[africaqueen]

Hi, i dnt think its selfish to apply whilst ttc. Hopefully not, but it could take u a while to get pregnant again and its nobodys business intill u actually are pregnant. I would apply for it and see if u are lucky enough to get it and then plan when to tell them when u get pg. dnt stress yourself yet. Good luck! x

 

[CS10]

Thanks for replying.
That's what i think, might take a while to get pregnant (hope not because this ttc business is sooo hard... but who knows) If I dont apply and take a while to get preggers will really regret it.
xx

 

[africaqueen]

Oh god i hope we dnt have to wait long too, but at least if u get the job u will have maternity pay and good conditions etc x

 

[hb1]

I would go for it

hx

 

[SmileyShazza]

I am in the same position.

I really am not enjoying my job and it is causing me a lot of stress at the moment. I hate coming here and feel like crying most days

The only thing that is keeping me here (I also work in education but in the admin side of things) is that I will be entitled to maternity benefits and if I go elsewhere I would probably have to work a minimum of 6 - 12 months to be entitled to maternity leave.

I hoped I would get pregnant quickly after my mmc in November but so far it hasn't happened and I'm starting to think it could be a while until it does. I either start applying now and see what happens - if I get pregnant I would have to cross that bridge when I come to it I suppose. I just can't see me coping with being here much longer

 

[MinnieMone]

I was TTC when I went for the interview for my current job. I was actually asked outright by my current boss if I 'was going to have kids', but I just smiled sweetly, and said 'I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to ask me that!' and glossed over it.

I did get the job and found out I was pregnant the day before I started. I decided that I would be totally upfront and called the HR Director (the person who gave me first interview), and basically told her the truth that I had found out that day, it was a total surprise (it was, I'm 44, and didn't think it would happen!), but that I was totally 100% committed to the job and hoped that they would still be happy for me to start the next day. Only HR and my immediate boss knew.

Sadly I mc'd the pregnancy but I'm pleased that I told them as it would have been very difficult to have explained what had happened if I hadn't, and it turns out that my boss was a great support.

Legally once you have been offered the job and signed the contract they are unable to remove the offer. That's what the HR Director told me.

Having said that I am now pregnant again, but haven't told them as yet, although I am considering it. I would hope that they might take the pressure off me a little if they now my situation, especially as what happened previously.

It is totally up to you. legally you do not have to tell your employers I think until the 25th week (you can google maternity employment law).

Best of luck.

 

[Smiler79]

Hi CS10

FIrst of all so sorry too hear about the loss of your baby boy.

I was in asimilar postition to you. I had a miscarriage in October and rthen started looking for a new job (teahing assistant) in the november as I knew my contract was not being renewed in JUly.

I got a job in December and I was asked in a roundabout way about having children and I just siad I dont have any yet.

I have been in my job since January and unfortunately still not pregnant. The teacher I work woth is lovely and I have told her about the miscarriage and tryin to conceive but noone else knows.

I felt extreemly guilty applying for jobs and attending interviews whne I knew I was pregnant but you have ot put yourself first and do what is right fo ryou . You could fall pregnant tomorrwo butit could take a while and you cannot put your life onhold until you do.

Hope this helps. Let us know what you decide to do xxxx

 

[Omi]

I would go for it. As so many have already said, by law they cant do anything and besides life happens and they know that regardless of how they feel about it.

I work for the council and remember one lady (social worker) who went off on maternity leave, came back a year later and was 3 months pregnant with twins!! In my job you just have to work 20 something weeks to get the full maternity pay you're entitled to. So apart from feeling bad, there really isn't anything stopping you - i wouldn't give a toss. After all this is your life!! ...and who knows exactly when you will get pg again. One day at a time Mrs!


Also, some work places are more prone to women employees and as such have a high rate of pg's and maternity leave. Mine certainly is - at any given time there's at least 4 women pg at any given time (sigh). There's nothing they can do about it. Its the law.

Go ahead, hun and good luck!

 

[CS10]

Thank you all so much for your replies and sharing your experiences. AF is due on Wednesday/Thursday and closing date is Friday, so if it's not our month I'm going to apply and take it from there. Like you said, it can take us months or this could be our month but I cant put my life on hold while ttc.

Omi, my current school is like that, always a few people away on maternity leave! So I think most heads kind of expect it when they employ a female of childbearing years...

I'm shocked that a few of you were asked about plannng to have children, that is really bad.

xxxx