TTC but he addicted to masturbation.

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We have been ttc for 3 years. I have taken meds doctors have prescribed to help fertility. I recently discovered the last year. He is addicted to masturbating. He does it when he is bored. We talked about it. If he can cut back. Every time he does it is less chance for us. He agreed to cut back and save his boys for me. We have sex every other day or every day. Even on my period. He said he would wait til tonight. Even though he had today off. I found a stiff towel. So I guess he didn't wait. So confused. Any input is helpful.
 
I don't really have any advice but didn't want to read and run. I can't imagine how frustrating that would be :hugs:

Could you make some sort of deal of one to two times a week or would that be unreasonable in the situation? Maybe have him take some supplements to increase sperm count so that what you get may have more sperm in it?
 
What about if everytime he did it he did it into a pot or something and saved it for you to self inseminate? Also ask him to cut down like pp said. Before me and my partner decided to ttc again I always asked him to masterbate to give me a break lol! His sex drive is so high but he says he shouldn't have to if he has a girlfriend! Drives me mad sometimes but he just refuses to do it, we have been together just over 6 years and I don't think in all that time he has ever done it! I wish he would tho :)
 
I agree with dinky! I read an article somewhere (sorry I can't remember where) for couples who were struggling with having sex on demand for TTC because of their schedules. The article suggested using the pickle jar method which is essentially having the man save sperm in a jar so that the woman can later inject it using a syringe. I don't know how long the sperm is viable but I'm sure your doctor could answer that. Maybe he does have address it if it's an addiction but in the meantime, this might save you some stress and frustration!
 
Just my two cents, but I don't think the jar method is in any way sanitary and/or efficient. Plus... just you wait for the moment when the kid asks how he/she was conceived. This isn't the scenario you'll want to think of.

I don't think the sperm is viable after being exposed to air, and being stored outside of a medically-approved environment. Just look into how sperm donation work. The procedure has strict rules and storage conditions are closely monitored.

Apart from a masturbation obsession causing relationship problems, I don't think it can lower your chances of getting pregnant. His sperm bank replenishes fairly quickly. Other than that you can ask him to grow up and take some responsibility for his actions... and just not masturbate, especially since sex is happening.

If he's that bored, he should find a hobby or activity to focus on.

Sorry for the tough love! Wish you the best of luck!
 
Totally valid on the concern over whether the sperm is still viable or not. Obviously ask a doctor.

As for telling your children how they were conceived......come on, is that even a real concern? I can't think of a single reason you ever need to tell your children anything other than, "you were conceived with love". Not that I think a child would even ask. I know I don't want to know the details of how my parents made me...EW. :nope: :rofl:


Just my two cents, but I don't think the jar method is in any way sanitary and/or efficient. Plus... just you wait for the moment when the kid asks how he/she was conceived. This isn't the scenario you'll want to think of.

I don't think the sperm is viable after being exposed to air, and being stored outside of a medically-approved environment. Just look into how sperm donation work. The procedure has strict rules and storage conditions are closely monitored.

Apart from a masturbation obsession causing relationship problems, I don't think it can lower your chances of getting pregnant. His sperm bank replenishes fairly quickly. Other than that you can ask him to grow up and take some responsibility for his actions... and just not masturbate, especially since sex is happening.

If he's that bored, he should find a hobby or activity to focus on.

Sorry for the tough love! Wish you the best of luck!
 
What about if everytime he did it he did it into a pot or something and saved it for you to self inseminate? Also ask him to cut down like pp said. Before me and my partner decided to ttc again I always asked him to masterbate to give me a break lol! His sex drive is so high but he says he shouldn't have to if he has a girlfriend! Drives me mad sometimes but he just refuses to do it, we have been together just over 6 years and I don't think in all that time he has ever done it! I wish he would tho :)
Instead of like a jar, use the softcups! I hear of people doing this all the time, especially after BDing during fertile window to keep :spermy: close to the cervix. Thos woildnt solve any male fertility issues, but it does save some of the little swimmers. I am sorry you have to go through this! I ish you luck!
 
Lol I thought the same thing about the conception question! Eeew

To the op are you sure this isn't because he is scared to be a dad and he's intentionally or unintentionally hindering your ttc?
 
Also sperm do not die immediately when being exposed to the air, after a longer period of time being exposed they may lose motility and eventually die.
Honestly what child will ask you how you we're inseminated?
By the time they figure out that that has to happen they will probably will cringe at the thought

I don't believe that would be an issue. You're still baby dancing and you still love each other. Whats to question?
 
sperm lives outside of the body for an hour max. When hubby had to get tested, he had to do it into a cup just as he was about to leave as he had to take public transit to the clinic. They wanted it no more than 30 min in the sterile container. So no, it's not going to work to have him do it into a container for you to inseminate yourself later.

I agree with the tough love. He needs to grow up and just not do it. I have told my guy straight up that there is no masturbating during ttc. He saves that for when af arrives. He did it once and I lost my shit on him. There needs to be 24 hours in between each ejaculate. So if he masterbates in the morning, he's not going to have a lot of guys in the evening and it's also harder for them to even finish. While it won't be impossible to concieve it will make it incredibly difficult.

do you track your cycle? Do you know when you ovulate? The other thing you can do is to tell him that for the 4 days prior to ovulating, the day of and the day after are reserved for you. Basically one week. If he can't stop for 7 days out of 30 there is more than just boredom going on.
 
Sorry for the graphic conception detail, that's just my sense of humor :)

Otherwise, tracking like Aayla suggested, sounds like the best plan if he can't commit to staying...away from himself
 

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