TTC but I want things to be the same again.

[CeeceeGil]

After my daughter was born I gained a lot of weight. It took me about a year but I dropped all the weight I wanted to lose. When I got pregnant with my son I was doing everything right. I was exercising and eating healthy and I only gained 5 lbs throughout the whole pregnancy til I lost him at 16 weeks. 😞 A few weeks after the miscarriage I told myself I wasn't going to let anything stop me me so I signed up for the gym and started working out as regularly as possible with my school schedule and continue to eat healthy. The only problem is that its been 4 months since I've miscarried and even though I have been eating healthy and working out I have gained 20 lbs. I was hoping to try to concieve again but I am so devastated because I have worked so hard to be at a certain weight before I got pregnant with my son I dont want another pregnancy where Im overweight again. I decided its best not to get pregnant again because I dont want to feel any kind of resentment. But I feel like having another baby will help me with the pain.