TTC soon after a second trimester loss

[tcinks]

Looking for other ladies in my situation.

I just lost my little princess 5 days ago at 21+5. We're devastated. But like with my last loss, I can think of nothing but getting pregnant again! My first loss was at 13 weeks, and it took about 3 months to recover (I had leftover tissue and the docs didn't realize it). This time, they were extra careful to make sure everything was out and my bleeding was under control before I left the hospital. Bleeding has been light and physically I'm feeling pretty good.

My doctor says to wait 4 months, "because I'm young and have plenty of time". Ummm no. If he gave me an actual reason to wait, I might consider it. But just because I'm young? I want lots of children and don't want to keep putting it off!

I also don't want to rush if my body legitimately isn't ready. I have a feeling it will be quick this time, though. And I know there are plenty of moms out there who give birth to full term children and find out they're expecting just a couple months later. So I know it's possible for me to get pregnant again soon.

In the meantime, just trying to keep my body healthy. Still taking my prenatal, also have raspberry leaf tea daily. I'm trying to remember other things I did after my last loss to aid in recovery...

I'd love to meet other ladies in similar situations so we can support each other on this journey.

 

[Dollybird]

Hey tcinks. I rmemwbr reading your threads. I'm so so sorry for your loss I can't imagine how awful that must've been. I miscarried in April. Well it was a MMC and I had a d&c a week later. I was 9+5. It hit me really hard it's the last thing I expected. I've had a ectopic before but didn't believe I would have another loss.. Daft really. Anyways we weren't careful after my d&c but I don't think I ovulated. Took 8 weeks for ad to come! So now I'm cd 15 of a new cycle. No sign of ovulation yet. Scared of try again but excited too. Xxx

 

[Trying4first1]

So sorry to hear about your loss. Life really is awful at times. I do find that these things make us stronger then ever and when we do have our little rainbow we will love them even more, we will never ever give up. I have heard of women falling again straight away pretty much. I'm on cycle 4 post MC now but only third trying again. I don't think I ovulated straight away but I know I did for sure last month as I temped 😊 it's amazing how quickly our bodies recover as you know. I did what you did, I took my vitamins and generally really looked after myself and gave myself the time I needed. I wish you all the best. Be easy on yourself xx

 

[Butterfly2015]

Hi I don't quite know where to start really I don't quite know where to put myself at the moment so I'll start by telling you my recent experience here goes this was my 5th my pregnancy 4 all alive and well thankfully my partners 1st we'd been trying nearly a year when we found out I was pregnant we were over the moon at 9 1/2 weeks I started bleeding heavy had a scan everything was fine Brandon even gave his daddy a thumbs up he welled up I had been convinced it was all over but heartbeat was strong no sign of bleeding it eased to spotting then stopped then it happened again at 11 weeks only this time there was a clot that measured 3cm under the placenta so I was booked in anyway for my 12 week scan so she wasn't concerned but my partner pretty much kept me on bed rest my scan date came I was 12+5 days at this point I'd had a gush of blood in the morning nothing too heavy this time though so I was relieved the scan was an early appointment Brandon was perfect but the sch was now 4 1/2 cms and the sonographer was clearly concerned so I was booked in again for 2weeks later no sooner as we got downstairs I had to rush to the bathroom and I passed a clot the size of my open fingered hand I had my phone on me so phoned epu from there and they told me to come straight up I was shaking what have I done was that my baby but the sound of my baby's heartbeat was enough to reassure me that it was nothing more then the clot seen on the scan it certainly looked bigger at home my kid were at there fathers and auntys and my partner was at work I was alone I felt fine found the heartbeat again before bed. At approximately 3:45am on May 1st I awoke with pain I took a couple of paracetamol and tried to get comfortable while they kicked I at around 4 I needed to pee again as I got up I felt a gush thought please not again I got to the bathroom fine only to delivery my sweet baby boy still attached to me I didn't know what to do I placed him in my hand so gently luckily I had my mobile on me I rang my partner and my mum and epu who told me to ring for an ambulance as he was still attached moments after hanging up I bust into tears just staring at him as his cord suddenly breaks and he's no longer part of me I raised him into the light and no word of a lie he squinted at it and it was that moment I fell apart completely my mum and partner weren't here yet it was just us I couldn't think of anything small enough to wrap him in so tissue I cradled his tiny body in my mum was the first to get to me she didn't know what to say there was nothing she could say she held him definitely a boy then my partner came home he was devastated I could see it in his eyes but he was strong we drove to hospital epu they were shocked to see me carrying our baby the whole time I couldn't stop crying they asked if they could take him to put him in something nice they were so kind he was bought back to me loosely swaddled in a handmade knitted tiny blanket it was lovely after that he stayed by my side but the nightmare wasn't over I was now still passing clots and loosing a lot of blood they scanned my as soon as the sonographer arrived the placenta was still firmly attached so they gave me a suppository to bring on labour but booked me in for an emergency D&C just in case by this time I was in pain so I had gas & air it was all they could give me because I'm allergic to opiates bearing in mind I arrived at about 5:30 am and by the time they came to take me for surgery approx 5:30pm I'd literally just passed the placenta I was relieved at no surgery by 9 the bleeding had eased considerably and I felt that it was over and I could just be on my own with my partner and Brandon needless to say we both cried our hearts out that night due to a Hun of 69 and low potassium I was kept in for a couple of days was put on supplements for the anaemia and discharged late evening on the 4th may over the next five weeks I had nothing but a little heavy spotting and the two after that it was on and off very light until over 7 weeks later I start just gushing with blood and clots lost over a pint couldn't move from the toilet for at least 20 minutes it was horrific we rushed to a&e who sent us to epu who couldn't do much but book a scan which wouldn't be till Tuesday this was happening on a Saturday 20th June my scan was the 23rd anyway the scan showed a small piece of tissue and a lot of blood and clots so booked me in for D&C on Thursday 25 June the procedure went well and I finally felt like we had closure we had attended the funeral service held by the hospital it was beautiful the chaplain who spoken to us at the hospital bought Brandon and my partner carried the lovely coffin they'd provided the rest of that day feels like a blur but now I felt relieved and mended I already knew that all my hormone levels are absolutely normal and my job is back up to 130 even the Dr was impressed by that much everything seems to have gone back to normal and the was before the surgery my dilemma is this we expected to have to wait weeks but after the surgery I spotted for two days then nothing it's been so long I not only needed but wanted to be intimately close with my partner so we dtd all fine only 6 days ago I had ovulation pain a tiny bit of spotting so I did an opk and it was a big positive this has confused the hell out of me cause it was only 6days after D&C I don't know what to think confused.com lol how soon is too soon I don't now how to feel and my partner is absolutely terrified.
Well there's my storey and my dilemma please excuse the lack of punctuation and such I'm exhausted needless to say I'm not getting much sleep with this weighing on me I feel I'll be judged for being so soon if I am but I feel ready scared beyond my dreams but ready if you know what I mean. I'll never forget Brandon and he'll always be in my heart so sorry to ramble on but I've been waiting to share my experience and get it offy chest for what feels like an eternity lol and didn't know where to put myself and it sounds like you went through something similar in regards to loss xx

 

[Butterfly2015]

Wow didn't realise I'd wrote a novel I think I got a bit carried away lol xx

 

[tcinks]

Oh my , what a trial to go through! Thankfully I was at the hospital for both of my losses, I can't imagine going through it alone at home.

If you do get pregnant again this cycle, don't feel bad that it happened so quickly. You'll always miss your Brandon but it doesn't mean you shouldn't want more kids. I hope all goes well with you.

 

[LoraLoo]

We lost our daughter at 5 days old, and our baby boy at 18 weeks pregnant.
With both we more or less started trying straight away.
It took 10 months after my daughter, 5 months after my Son.
I would say try when you are ready- there is no wrong or right x

 

[thumpette]

So sorry for your losses. I lost my little boy on Jan 12th at 41+4. I started trying again as soon as I stopped bleeding. No luck yet but no-one could tell me to wait unless there was an excellent reason. Best of luck on your journey xx

 

[mummy2o]

I'm following you tcinks, not sure if that's good or bad. After I read your post on the 2nd trimester, a couple of days later my waters broke and I gave birth to my 2nd 2nd trimester loss. I'm sorry that we're all here, but I'm an optimistic person, just in my nature and despite a load of crap being chucked at me in real life, social services have decided whilst I was in hospital to take my daughter away due to global developmental delay as I'm apparently not doing enough with her despite me, her dad and her brother all having autism, so I'm dealing with that to. I'm still smiling and a little ball of sunshine. Maybe its purely shock and everything hasn't sunk in yet, but speaking to my solicitor hopefully later and we'll go from there.

So despite all this, I'd still love another forever baby, one who I will not let anyone take away from me, despite whatever special needs they might have. NTNP this cycle then see from there. I've only delivered the placenta yesterday, but I'm hardly bleeding at all. I did have surgery though, but last time I bleed for ages....

 

[tcinks]

Ladies, thanks so much for sharing your stories.
Laraloo, I read about your Eve. I'm so sorry, I can't imagine what that must have been like.
Thumpette, please keep me posted on how it goes. Hope you get your bfp soon!

Mommy2o , oh no! I'm so sorry! Do they know why it happened? Glad you're staying optimistic, it's so hard.

 

[mummy2o]

Mommy2o , oh no! I'm so sorry! Do they know why it happened? Glad you're staying optimistic, it's so hard.

I keep getting infections whilst pregnant. So its the whole chicken and egg scenario. Do I get sick then have a miscarriage or does my cervix open causing me to have an infection. They are cross examining both babies and seeing if they can pin point anything, but I'm not holding my breath. I agree its hard. I'd rather be back in 2nd trimester than starting again although OH seems happy that his job gets to start again. We rarely have sex when pregnant as I'm so paranoid I'll loose babies, but it still happens!

 

[xanzaba]

Hi ladies- sorry for everyone that is hurting, and thank you for the stories of hope after loss.

After TTC for over 2 years, I fell pregnant last summer. I had a lot of bleeding due to a clot from 5 weeks and lost the pregnancy at 18 weeks.

I then found out I was pregnant again after 3 cycles of TTC and was elated, took aspirin to not develop a clot, and had no bleeding. Unfortunately the baby had Down's syndrome, and we lost her at 14 weeks.

I'm 2 weeks out, but really hoping that the third time is the charm. The doctor told me that my uterus is primed.

I really hope we all get our rainbow/double-rainbow babies and that there are some positive follow-ups!

 

[xanzaba]

I should also say that with all of the bleeding during my first pregnancy and from the miscarriage, the doctor was concerned that I not get pregnant because of my folic acid and my iron levels. When I did get pregnant my iron levels were borderline low, so I was told to make sure I took prenatal vitamins regularly now.

 

[mummy2o]

I should also say that with all of the bleeding during my first pregnancy and from the miscarriage, the doctor was concerned that I not get pregnant because of my folic acid and my iron levels. When I did get pregnant my iron levels were borderline low, so I was told to make sure I took prenatal vitamins regularly now.

Does low iron make it harder to conceive then? Just curious as I constantly have low iron.

 

[xanzaba]

No, I don't think it makes it harder, but it can cause problems in pregnancy and make you more tired. And folic acid levels are important for avoiding birth defects.

 

[tcinks]

Mummy2o, is there anything they can do during pregnancy to stay on top of the infection?

Afm, 12 days since the loss and physically feeling okay. I passed a pretty large clot this morning but since then the bleeding has been light and I'm hoping will taper off completely in a day or two. Dh wants to see the doctor first before ttc , but my appointment isn't until August 13 and if I stop bleeding before then I definitely want to start trying!!! Emotionally, not doing great..it's such a roller coaster. I miss my baby girl so much. I miss being pregnant and having a baby to look forward to.

 

[mummy2o]

I'm not sure. I was suppose to have extra care last pregnancy and only received it once it was to late again. So not sure what they can do much differently. But to be fair here its all about referrals and its very slow in my area to do. But I really don't want another 2nd trimester loss. So going to look up options and demand things to be done on my 12 week check up.

Are they planning anything different with your care tcinks?

As for the iron supplements your not suppose to take them whilst pregnant so very conflicting information. I'll take some for now since I got loads anyway and go from there. As for the folic acid its hit and miss if I take it. In DD's pregnancy it made me so sick and even switching to liquid folic acid didn't help. Although I did try and eat more folic acid rich food to combat that.

AFM I'm in that phase I think the bleeding has stopped and it starts again. Generally it stops over night, but its light all day. So shouldn't be much more.

 

[xanzaba]

tcinks, hope you are doing better day by day. Back in November, when I lost the first pregnancy, the first few days were horrible, and then I had roller coaster days like you describe. One minute I'd be almost too happy, the next have to hide in the bathroom sobbing. I was lucky that I was very busy at work and that forced me to keep going, getting dressed and out of the house.

It does usually get better. I was offered sessions with a counselor if I needed it, but it felt strange to me to meet with women I didn't know and have to share my deepest pain. Funny, I don't have that problem online. This website has gotten me through some of my hardest times.

AFM- I am almost 3 weeks out now and life is going on. I've been using HPTs to track my HCG levels and they are finally negative, and my temps have also gone down. I have an appointment tomorrow to check if everything is back to normal and we can bd. Besides wanting to get pregnant again, I really miss the intimacy and sharing good feelings together. And, well, I'm finally in the mood again

 

[tcinks]

So it's been a month and all I can think about is trying again! Bleeding has been stopped for a while and I'm feeling pretty good. I hoped af would show by now, I'm not sure if I have or will even ovulate. It would be nice to conceive even before af, though I am trying to wait. Although if I see definite ovulation signs, I probably won't be able to resist...

 

[tcinks]

Well, last month my cycle was weird and I have no idea if I even ovulated. I'm fairly certain I did this cycle, though! We dtd a lot so I am really hopeful for this cycle! I'm 2dpo now and just waiting until 10dpo to test! I know I should wait but I've always gotten my that day in my last two pregnancies. Trying not to symptom spot and just relax, though.

Anyone else??