TTC "The First Grandbaby" Stress

[awnmyown]

Anyone else feeling the pressure to make the first grand baby for their family?? My parents have zero grand children and have been very, very patient considering their children are all over 30. My one married sibling never plans to have children and my other one isn't married and would prefer to adopt, maybe, someday, possibly.

The leaves me and DH. Super, super excited about getting to be the first, but also super nervous. And anxious. Like if we can't do it, my parents won't have any biological grandkids :s

OH's side has two grand kids already, but they've maxed out as well. And it looks like the only other viable brother never plans to marry, so again, if they're going to have anymore grandkids, it's on us.

Guess I'm just excited but super nervous and a little...like the pressure is on!!

Anyone else??

 

[abennion]

I'm the eldest of three girls, and the only one married. Pressure is definitely on on my side. We've been trying for 7 months now to no avail. DH's side already has 5 grandkids with another on the way, so a little less pressure there, but his mom is itching to see 'our beautiful babies'.

 

[Chloe26]

Me!

My OH's parents desperately want grandchildren, especially his mother. They currently act like our dogs are there grandchildren. They even refer to them as their grandchildren, lol.

Every time she sees a baby or around the holidays, she's always asking when we are going to grace her with a grandchild. Last year during Thanksgiving she just looked at me and was like "You know I would really like some grandchildren." In my head I was like yeah, but your son has to want them too. Now he does, but I'm just expecting her to say something this year during Christmas.

I was hoping to give her the news about a grandbaby on Christmas, but it's the last cycle and IF I conceive, I don't know if I want to want to mention it that early along.

Now on my side of family I have no pressure. My sister has two children and my brother five, so no real pressure there. lol

 

[lesondemavie]

No grandchildren on either side here yet, and all but one of us is over 30. I'm the eldest of four and he has one younger sister. I'm side-stepping the pressure by just not telling our parents that we're trying. I believe his sister is already trying, and my brother's wife just went off of bcp. I'm actually feeling more pressure from my brother than anyone. He wants me to be the first to have a baby for some reason. I wish...it's just taking a while .

 

[awnmyown]

Haha, Chloe, my parents are the exact same with our dog. Seriously, she's having a sleepover this week because they miss her lol. They're actually really good about not putting the pressure on directly, but I know that they're wanting it. My mom goes crazy buying things for my friends' babies because she can't buy them for ours lol.

Gotta admit, I'm a little jealous of all the folks with so many siblings that are TTC or already have kids. Sometimes I'm a little sad that our kids will only have two cousins and they're going to be at LEAST 4 and 7 years apart, if not more depending on how long it takes us to conceive. I *loved* getting to play with my cousins when I was a kid, and I wish my kids would have the same thing. The only consolation is some of my bests are ttc right now, so at least they'll have surrogate cousins. But I guess there's just something different about the real thing.

 

[jjohns50]

Ahhhhh! FI's mom is always bringing up babies. Lots of cousins on the FI's side of family. As far as my family goes, very competitive cousin has already stolen the 1st great grandchild title, but I am the only one close to child-bearing age on my mom's side though sadly my great grandparents have passed. I really would have liked to have a great great grandchild photoshoot. Though there isn't too much pressure from the family, I hate being the one who 'followed suit' of others in the family having babies. FI & I were talking earlier in the year about having a Christmas announcement but it looks like that won't happen!

 

[mrs unicorn]

Yes! I have a younger brother who cannot even take care of himself so I think everyone would be horrified if he announced he and his girlfriend were TTC! And DH is an only child. We married earlier this year and have just bought our first house so everyone is expecting babies now. They are ok most of the time but as soon as they have a drink the 'when are you going to start trying' and 'well there's nothing stopping you now' comments start. By 'they' I mean our parents. I have told my mum we will probably start trying next year, probably spring/summer which is a massive lie as we are TTC now! I'm a bit paranoid about timings around Christmas as I normally drink and smoke and have given both up. Normally that would be fine but if we're visiting the family over Christmas they will notice and I can't bare the influx of comments. I know it's only because they are excited about the idea of a new baby in the family, which is lovely, but.... we are trying!!

 

[awnmyown]

This is the season when you learn how to "fake" drinking lol. "Share" a drink with the husband but never actually drink it. Nurse the same glass of wine all night and ditch it whenever you can. "Accidentally" leave your solo cup behind and need to get a new drink...

Honest, I think I'm starting to be masterful at it!

And giving up smoking is always a great idea, TTC or not That's something you should be super proud of Well done!

 

[jjohns50]

Great tips!!!! lol. Those will come in handy!

 

[mrs unicorn]

They are good tips! It's those little things that I worry about - silly really! Hopefully there will be so many people around no one will notice.

 

[FitE]

Hi all! We're also the first potential grandbabymakers on both sides too. SO has one older sister, very career driven, successfull, but no baby in sight (maybe ever). I have two younger sisters (one is 6 and another 20 years younger - yeah, quite a span ). My side is not so anxious (probably due to the 6yo), but my SO's side is talking about babies ever since we first started dating - more than 9 years ago ) It has gotten so far that every birthday/Christmas card and oral congratulations have baby hints in them. Or at least they were hints - for a few years now they are quite openly demanding And every time anyone gets pregnant (could be the people we know, could just be someone on TV - yeah it has gotten so far) we get the third degree on WHAT ARE WE WAITING FOR It hasn't bothered me at all, but just because I wasn't ready and haven't decided yet. But now that we have (a month ago, just after last ovulation, this would be my first cycle) I might become more sensitive (especially if we encounter any fertility issues). But they are good people, I'm sure they'll understand and completely change tune if anything like that happens.
But let's not get carried away, I'm sure we'll be fine, I can now officially say I'm expecting Christmas BFP !
Good luck to all of you! Start making those grandbabies