TTW after loss...emotional roller coaster!

[Cornfieldland]

Hello all..
I'm sure you all can relate to the Dreaded TTW after a loss. This is my first month of trying since the loss. It is such a up and down roller coaster of emotions. I don't think I can be one of those who test everyday with cheapies without driving myself crazy. Everytime I see a BFN it just makes it harder. At first when TTC I was excited, but now with hormones the week before my expected period I feel so down and anxious.

Being pregnant again would be so exciting, but so scary. Not being pregnant is so disappointing and so depressing. I think I'm just a hormonal mess haha. I need to find something else to obsess about before I go crazy! But it's all I can think about...

 

[firsttimer123]

This is my 3 Rd month ttc after mmc.... I got pregnant initially two months in, every month seems to bring on more stress and anxiety! And I always test early and its exciting but heart breaking at the same time

 

[AnnieMac2]

I know what you mean. I just completed my first cycle after mc, resulting in af and bfn on Tues. I didn't expect it to make me so unbelievably sad! Upset at the thought of going through this month after month. And I'm also dreading the fear that will come with a pregnancy. If anyone comes up with a good way to cope, please share! Did your husbands understand the sadness after af came? Mine didn't and it pisses me off.

 

[Cornfieldland]

I know what you mean. I just completed my first cycle after mc, resulting in af and bfn on Tues. I didn't expect it to make me so unbelievably sad! Upset at the thought of going through this month after month. And I'm also dreading the fear that will come with a pregnancy. If anyone comes up with a good way to cope, please share! Did your husbands understand the sadness after af came? Mine didn't and it pisses me off.

Annie I'm so sorry AF got you this month. It just brings back all those feelings..it really makes you feel like your going crazy! I know I will cry if I get my AF too. Trying to tell myself that I can use the time to be healthy emotionally and physically, but it's hard.

No my husband didn't understand all my intense feelings. I mean he was sad, but not completely devastated and depressed like I was, and although I needed him to be strong for me, I wanted him to be sad too. They just don't experience it body, mind, and soul like we do. It was very hard on our relationship.

We waited 2 months, until I had two periods and my blood count came back to normal, to see weather or not we would try....and it nearly killed me! I'm still not sure 100% he won't change his mind just with the pressures at work and finances.

Anyways obsessing about ovulating, the agonizing TTW and the dreaded AF are enough to drive anyone mad! I find my hormones now are so overwhelming...I'm very moody...my poor husband!

 

[AnnieMac2]

I'll keep fx that things start going your way, Cornfield and Firsttimer. Being in limbo is agonizing. My husband and I usually get along, but we've been tense too. Yesterday I asked him all accusingly, "Aren't you sad??!?!!" His answer was that he doesn't think about it much. Ouch. But I feel the same way as you - I want him to be strong, but I get mad when I realize he's not miserable too. Although I do appreciate how level-headed he is, he can be robotic.

I've been trying to focus on getting healthy as well. Just got back from yoga where I peek at the clock every 5 seconds. Totally the least "zen" person there haha. Oh well, I showed up and didn't roll my eyes or lie on my mat and cry, so that's a start I hope you both had a good day today