I’m sorry it makes you sad to know I’m struggling, and for anything this might have dragged back up for you again, but I can’t tell you how grateful I am for you replying; you’ve really helped (and as you know, for people like us, that can be really difficult to achieve). And you’re also equally right that I will just find something else to worry about, much like the Infantile Spasms; I guess it just snowballed from there. I’m so sorry you went through that with your daughter; is it the one daughter who went through that and the thumb tucking or have you had the (dis)pleasure of having to worry about them both? West is absolutely terrifying and if I’d experienced what you’d described, I would have also assumed West was at play and have been going out of my mind with worry. Your view on the neuro’s thoughts (and my internal dialogue) are spot on! I also keep thinking, she was the one who raised the concerns in the first place about a potential handedness and if she’s not worried a few months later watching his other videos, then I shouldn’t be either. But it’s easy to say that to yourself as opposed to believe it. When I had my CBT, the therapist said to me I’m a very detail oriented person who analyses a lot and needs to figure out outcomes almost exponentially; correct, and actually that aligns it’s self to my line of work really well so I kind of get paid to think like that. But then the therapist was talking about just being in the present, and going with the moment, not letting fear of something that hasn’t happened yet take control...and I thought well that’s all well and good but a) you’ve just described my personality so do you really think that’s possible and b) if fears were rational, nobody would have them!! So it didn’t really work for me. Maybe you’re quite detailed/analytical too? That poor lady with the boy with hemi. It’s wonderful that she could help you though, and I’m pleased it’s only mild for him although obviously no baby should ever have to go through that. Don’t apologise for the assumptions; once again you’re spot on and it sounds like our thought processes are exactly the same. I also couldn’t agree more that my anxiety has never been this intense until I’d had my boy. I don’t even think I had it before; maybe off and on in different phases but not like now. Now it feels like I’m standing on one side of a two way mirror and everyone else is on the other side going “oh isn’t he perfect” and I’m banging on the glass screaming “no!! Why can’t you see!! He needs help!” And I realise that sounds a bit dramatic but at my peaks, that’s how I feel. I think I need to get and hold on to what you said about just because I’m an anxious person, doesn’t make it any more likely that there’s anything wrong with him. And equally, nothing has amounted to anything (yet). And I’m sure it won’t...but I’m having a good day. I also torture myself the way you torture yourself too about guilt. I can only tell you that I see a wonderful Mum who adores her girls and has dedicated her life to their happiness and I’m sure they know that. But equally I know you can’t see that ‘clearly’ enough?? This is me assuming now!! And just because that’s how I feel when people tell me I’m wondering for paying so much attention to my son!