Hi, I'm new here.
I met my husband last summer. We had a whirlwind romance and felt like we belonged together like we'd never felt with anyone before. I knew I would marry him after two weeks of knowing him. We married four months after meeting.
We got pregnant unintentionally after being married for two months (December, 2014). I miscarried in January, at about 7 or 8 weeks.
I was devastated, more than I cared to admit at the time.
I have endometriosis and never knew if I even could get pregnant, so I told myself I would see it in a positive way - that I can get pregnant.
And then I broke down. It took me months to get back on my feet.
A month ago, we actually tried to conceive while I was fertile. After a week, I started to feel all the symptoms again. Tender breasts, intense smell sensitivity, nausea, mood swings, food aversions. But the pee tests and the blood test came back negative. The nurse said this can sometimes mean the pregnancy won't last because the hormones aren't strong enough. It could also have been too early. But I knew I was pregnant.
Well, I miscarried again. Even though it was only at 4 1/2 weeks and not much more than a glorified period, I feel devastated again. The hormonal whirlwind is affecting me and I'm sinking back into the sense of inadequacy I felt after the first miscarriage.
It seems all of my insecurities are showing their ugly heads. I have been telling my husband he should leave and find a younger woman who can have children with him.
I know, I know, so many people say that it's normal to miscarry before going to term and having a baby. I don't feel this way. My confidence is shot.
Accompanying all of this are a whole bunch of other stressors. My husband is immigrating and isn't legally allowed to work. I had intended to support us for a year while his papers go through and got fired right after we got married. I got a job that pays significantly less and we've been unbelievably poor. I've been desperately trying to drum up more business and I'm exhausted. My job drains me and sucks all the life out of me.
My husband and I don't play music anymore or enjoy all the things we love to do together. I feel like I'm just surviving, poorly.
I don't feel beautiful or empowered in my womanhood. I feel like a complete failure. I feel inadequate and don't understand why he isn't with another beautiful, fertile, healthy woman. I feel broken.
I know our circumstances are exceptionally hard and getting married, getting pregnant twice, miscarrying twice, moving twice... all in one year is a LOT.
I just want to reach out for support because I feel lost right now. I really think he should start over with someone else and have a happy life because I'm just dragging us down.
I met my husband last summer. We had a whirlwind romance and felt like we belonged together like we'd never felt with anyone before. I knew I would marry him after two weeks of knowing him. We married four months after meeting.
We got pregnant unintentionally after being married for two months (December, 2014). I miscarried in January, at about 7 or 8 weeks.
I was devastated, more than I cared to admit at the time.
I have endometriosis and never knew if I even could get pregnant, so I told myself I would see it in a positive way - that I can get pregnant.
And then I broke down. It took me months to get back on my feet.
A month ago, we actually tried to conceive while I was fertile. After a week, I started to feel all the symptoms again. Tender breasts, intense smell sensitivity, nausea, mood swings, food aversions. But the pee tests and the blood test came back negative. The nurse said this can sometimes mean the pregnancy won't last because the hormones aren't strong enough. It could also have been too early. But I knew I was pregnant.
Well, I miscarried again. Even though it was only at 4 1/2 weeks and not much more than a glorified period, I feel devastated again. The hormonal whirlwind is affecting me and I'm sinking back into the sense of inadequacy I felt after the first miscarriage.
It seems all of my insecurities are showing their ugly heads. I have been telling my husband he should leave and find a younger woman who can have children with him.
I know, I know, so many people say that it's normal to miscarry before going to term and having a baby. I don't feel this way. My confidence is shot.
Accompanying all of this are a whole bunch of other stressors. My husband is immigrating and isn't legally allowed to work. I had intended to support us for a year while his papers go through and got fired right after we got married. I got a job that pays significantly less and we've been unbelievably poor. I've been desperately trying to drum up more business and I'm exhausted. My job drains me and sucks all the life out of me.
My husband and I don't play music anymore or enjoy all the things we love to do together. I feel like I'm just surviving, poorly.
I don't feel beautiful or empowered in my womanhood. I feel like a complete failure. I feel inadequate and don't understand why he isn't with another beautiful, fertile, healthy woman. I feel broken.
I know our circumstances are exceptionally hard and getting married, getting pregnant twice, miscarrying twice, moving twice... all in one year is a LOT.
I just want to reach out for support because I feel lost right now. I really think he should start over with someone else and have a happy life because I'm just dragging us down.
