Unappreciated comments from others (a rant)

[SarahBear]

I was at the store today and Violet was really whiny and yelling about an answer to a question that she didn't like. As she started to get whiny and ask the question multiple times in hopes of a different answer, I told her that I already answered it and that I was done talking about it, and then I ignored her. She was on the cart, so I just plowed forth only engaging with her to tell her to not yell. Another customer whom I'm familiar with as this town is fairly small (1200 is a high estimate) commented about how you can see whose in charge. Um, no. My child being whiny, does not make her "in charge" and it is not caused by me giving in to tantrums. Just because my kid is being whiny, doesn't mean I condone the behavior or that I encourage it by giving her what she whines for. I simply said no and stuck to. When the comment was made, I gave no polite smile or node. I simply met the other person's gaze and then returned my attention to my child and my shopping. No you're not funny by implying that I'm a push-over and being sick, and tired, and having a kid tantruming in the store is enough stress without having people making stupid comments!

OK, I've been sick and tired. Anyone else need a rant about unwanted comments from others?

 

[sequeena]

Oh yes. You'd think the ridiculous comments would stop as they get a bit older but no there's always someone willing to give their stupid narrow minded opinion

 

[_Meep_]

Oh just don't listen to it! Their opinion is bollocks. If they have kids, there's no way their kids never acted up or whined in public too. No way.

While we're on the topic though, my MIL had one of her truly AWFUL friends over on Christmas Eve while I was there trying to make cauliflower cheese and vegetarian gravy (for my mum) in advance for the Christmas meal. This woman is one of those antagonistic, bossy, incredibly nosy pains in the ARSE who have an opinion on everything and a ridiculous superiority complex. They were sat together in the conservatory talking about whatever ... obviously LO went in and started chatting away about her books and stuff, and I was really surprised to hear MIL's friend comment on how advanced she is in her speech (she never says anything nice). Then, of course, she noticed LO was still wearing a nappy (she's 2.5 and has no interest in the toilet right now so we're not pushing it) and proceeded to launch into a great big sermon about how I will have two children in nappies (so?) and how she thought little girls didn't LIKE wearing nappies (mine doesn't seem to care?) and blah blah blah. I don't know whether she intended for me to hear or not - I don't think she cared.

And MIL, twit that she is, said nothing. I think she secretly feels that my kid 'should' be out of nappies too - although it's not hurting, bothering or inconveniencing anybody in ANY way.

It's laughable really, but it does irritate me some ... just because they had to be TOLD how to parent back in 1850 or wherever the hell they came from, and did everything according to the rules and guidelines, it doesn't mean that it's wrong to trust your instincts and take a sympathetic and somewhat child-led approach to your offspring's needs. I'd much rather my daughter was on board and potty-training was a pleasant and relatively simple experience for everyone than have to battle through it just to appease a pair of fat, middle-aged, sniffy cows.

Ugh. Her friend eventually left, but not before coughing her smoker's breath all over my cheese sauce. So rank.

 

[Sarah lo]

Why do so many people think that it's perfectly OK to stick their noses into other people's business just because they have kids?

I get a lot of comments about potty training at the moment, because my almost 3 year old is still in nappies, so presumably people think I must therefore be failing as a mother

 

[_Meep_]

Haha! I know ... why does it matter to them, I don't get it? As long as it isn't making us/our children stressed and unhappy, and we are not concerned by it, then nobody else has any right whatsoever to be concerned by it.

It's not like we are making these people change our children's nappies! Nor is it laziness on our part, nor are we going to force our kids to stay in nappies into adulthood ...

Here's to being failures, though.

 

[Bevziibubble]

People's comments can be so annoying. I have received unwanted comments and "advice" in the past from people who think they know everything. It is easy to judge from afar, but unless they're in your shoes they don't know the full story.

 

[Scout]

Arg, people in stores should mind their own business.

The comment I find most annoying atm is when friends tell me that they feel like single parents too. I'm single. The last time I heard from baby's dad is when i called to tell him she'd been born. Everything is 100% on me alone. A friend of mine told me she wanted to join my single mom's lifegroup (a church group) bc she felt like a single mom. Uggg. She's married to man who has 2 kids. He takes care of his kids financially and emotionally, takes them on vacation, out to eat ect. She has him in the house to watch them if she needs to run to the bathroom. She has him to run to the store to pick something up if she is sick. She has him to talk to about the kids and their problems. She has another opinion on things regarding the kids. I could go on, but you get it! She was feeling like a single mom bc she was cooking all the meals and doing all the kids laundry and her hubby wasn't helping out. I get so irritated when I get that comment. Rant over!

 

[loeylo]

I mostly just sympathise with people who make stupid comments as they clearly are either uneducated ot have nothing better to do with their time.

I seem to attract stupid comments. For example, I wad 37 weeks pregnant and going to a friends party, so I bought a non alcoholic beer to drink when I was there. The checkout attendant told me that my child was going to be born a "booze bag" because there is still alcohol in it..
Also, I got a lot of bottle feeding criticism. And I have had comments that I'm"lazy" because we did blw, Gracie was maybe about 8 months and was eating salmon and olives with rice by herself. Apparently that is lazy and I should be spoon feeding her purees.

We have also been having temper tantrums from Gracie and I'm sure judgement will come in thick and fast as we head for the terrible twos!

 

[AnneD]

Oh yeah. The one I find most annoying is when you say no to the kid about something, the kid whines or tries to bargain, you stick to your guns and then some smart **** says, "Well it looks like she's ruling the roost." Yeah right.

And Meep, if you have two children in nappies? The world shall come tumbling down, indeed. It'll be your fault, obviously.

 

[_Meep_]

Oh I know. I'll no longer be able to function - I'll just cry alone in the decaying rubble of my home, as it crumbles and burns around me.

Thing is, she probably WON'T be in nappies by the end of May anyway. She'll be nearly three then, and things may well have changed. If not, though, I'm not going to panic about it!

 

[catty]

The other day i overheard someone say about my newborn 'oh i see you have already learnt that if you cry you will get picked up tut tut doesnt work with me' i just ignored it and then went and picked her up. Shes 6 weeks and i absolutely will hold her!

Also when i was heavily pregnant my daughter was not long 2 and my son just over 3 so i started putting him back in the buggy to collect his sister and the amount of comments i got. 'Oh are you being a lazy boy today' 'your a big boy you can walk' well no hes in there because my backs in agony and i cant risk him running off as i couldnt chase him at all. Thats my decision no need to give shitty comments to him

 

[_Meep_]

^ So pathetic!!! The utter crap people will comment on.

Reminds me of some ancient weirdo in the supermarket remarking loudly that my toddler looked very small to be being 'made' to walk round the shop. Yeah? YOU try and make her sit in the trolley then, you wizened old shite.

 

[JumpingIn]

I'm in bits reading these! Love it

I also think it's really disrespectful to the child to bang on about how they shouldn't be in nappies etc in front of THEM. They understand a lot and isn't it up to you to raise those things with her, not some faghag you don't even know?

I had a woman once tell me that I shouldn't laugh when I'm with my son as he will think I'm laughing at him...

Course I burst out laughing at that!

Then there was the old woman telling me I was mean and irresponsible because I was allowing my son, who was wearing a wetsuit, thermal jacket and wellies, to jump in puddles!?

Oh and I love it when people say 'we never had all these allergies when we were little/we all drank cow's milk and we're still here'. Really brightens our experience

 

[AngelUK]

From experience I can tell you that having two in nappies at the same time will not make the world come crashing down !

I also get comments from a childless friend about how weird it is that my boys are still in night time pullups/nappies (actually Sebastian is without pullups for the 4th night tonight) and that she knows of no one who was not dry at night at that age. Uh-huh, cause you can remember if all your little childhood friends were dry by then! She has no close friends with kids except me and has obviously done very little reading on the subject. I love her dearly though and don't want to rub her childlessness in, so I let it slide. Still annoys me though.

 

[_Meep_]

i had a woman once tell me that i shouldn't laugh when i'm with my son as he will think i'm laughing at him...

Hahahah

 

[catty]

Well if it helps any i had 2 in nappies for 2 full years and i survived! I now have a baby in full time nappies and 2 in nightime nappies and guess what i still live to tell the tale!

 

[loeylo]

I also get judged for not putting her in a snowsuit. She has snowsuits' but doesn't wear them because 1. She can't wear it in the car seat so we would need to strip her off in the car park. And 2. She is always really warm, just like her dad. She had a snowsuit on in her pram when she was about 3 months old (in January) and when we took it off she was drenched in sweat.

It was 2 degrees today and she wore ankle socks, shoes, leggings, a sleeveless vest, a long sleeved t-shirt and a cardigan.

 

[Cariad_x]

It perplexes me that people think they can say what they want about parenting. I still bed share at times because, quite frankly, I enjoy cuddling my son and I can't be bothered putting him back to bed and settling him during the night (I have bad spd with this pregnancy which is much worse at night). Folk comment all the time that I'll have 2 kids in bed with me. And what?!

 

[SarahBear]

Oh yeah. The one I find most annoying is when you say no to the kid about something, the kid whines or tries to bargain, you stick to your guns and then some smart **** says, "Well it looks like she's ruling the roost." Yeah right.

And Meep, if you have two children in nappies? The world shall come tumbling down, indeed. It'll be your fault, obviously.

I hate to burst your bubble, but it won't come tumbling down... Because I already tumbled it down when I had two in diapers .

 

[SarahBear]

When Leo was less than a year old, I was carrying him one block from one building to another. It was cold out, but not quite to freezing. Both buildings were quite warm. I didn't bother with a hat because we were outside for such a brief time and there was no wind or rain. Someone walking quickly by decided to tell me that I needed a hat on my baby. They walked by so fast I had no time to process or comment until they were gone.

As others have mentioned, I've also had people comment about how certain behaviors from my kids wouldn't "work." I then proceeded to respond to those behaviors. I can't remember the context, but I can definitely relate. I do remember one... My father-in-law was tickling or trapping Violet and she didn't like it. He said I wouldn't "save" her. I then did "save" her because she was distressed and not enjoying the interaction.