Hello,
My baby's dad has never had a permanent job. He's 26 and only worked temp jobs - probably 20 weeks in total since he left college at 19. He claims JSA when he isn't in a temp role. He doesn't want a full time permanent job because, by his own admission, he's lazy. We were together a yesr and 3 months until we split up when I was 9 weeks pregnant. He hasn't been involved in my pregnancy. I did manage to persuade him to come to my 20 week scan but he looked bored and didn't look at the screen much.
I work full time and am managing to scrape together some money for baby stuff. FOB has come round to "contributing" to baby things. I ordered the cotbed the other day which he is paying for (I think he's giving me a cheque for £260) and he said that he will contribute to the furniture. Whether that means I'll need to buy everything else I don't know yet. I'm planning on contacting him after I've bought something of significant value to ask if he wants to contribute to that particular item. I live with my parents who have been very supportive, though I do feel guilty for putting them through this.
I don't know if i'll get any financial support from FOB once baby is here. From what I've read, if I have to go through CSA, I'll only get like £5 a week. If I don't go through CSA I feel like I can't ask him for anything despite knowing he's got around £4,000 saved up. I thought £50 a week was reasonable but if he's only getting £60ish per week through JSA, he'll only have £10 left.
I just don't know what to do. I don't want to get into debt by buying everything myself. I don't see how £5 a week for a baby is a reasonable amount to contribute. Just because he's not working, doesn't mean baby isn't going to stop growing/needing things. I'm not a greedy person and any money I do get from him will be for baby, even if I save it for nursery fees.
Anyone been in a similar situation? What did you do?
Thanks for reading.
My baby's dad has never had a permanent job. He's 26 and only worked temp jobs - probably 20 weeks in total since he left college at 19. He claims JSA when he isn't in a temp role. He doesn't want a full time permanent job because, by his own admission, he's lazy. We were together a yesr and 3 months until we split up when I was 9 weeks pregnant. He hasn't been involved in my pregnancy. I did manage to persuade him to come to my 20 week scan but he looked bored and didn't look at the screen much.
I work full time and am managing to scrape together some money for baby stuff. FOB has come round to "contributing" to baby things. I ordered the cotbed the other day which he is paying for (I think he's giving me a cheque for £260) and he said that he will contribute to the furniture. Whether that means I'll need to buy everything else I don't know yet. I'm planning on contacting him after I've bought something of significant value to ask if he wants to contribute to that particular item. I live with my parents who have been very supportive, though I do feel guilty for putting them through this.
I don't know if i'll get any financial support from FOB once baby is here. From what I've read, if I have to go through CSA, I'll only get like £5 a week. If I don't go through CSA I feel like I can't ask him for anything despite knowing he's got around £4,000 saved up. I thought £50 a week was reasonable but if he's only getting £60ish per week through JSA, he'll only have £10 left.
I just don't know what to do. I don't want to get into debt by buying everything myself. I don't see how £5 a week for a baby is a reasonable amount to contribute. Just because he's not working, doesn't mean baby isn't going to stop growing/needing things. I'm not a greedy person and any money I do get from him will be for baby, even if I save it for nursery fees.
Anyone been in a similar situation? What did you do?
Thanks for reading.
