Unimpressed with my midwife - am I overreacting?

[humblebum]

She is nice enough but seems very dippy and not much use really. I've been this morning and she did all the checks etc which were fine. Heard bubs heartbeat which is always lovely.

I mentioned my hands and feet have puffed up a bit and I'd had flashing spots in my eyes a few times. She told me bp was fine and nothing in my urine. Then said I should have rung triage as that's their job (thought it was hers tbh!)

She also asked how big Alex was at birth while she was feeling baby but didn't say why she'd asked so I asked her what kind of size she thought this one was but just said "Oh you've got weeks left!"

Got told I should take my son with me (even though he was a nightmare when I took him to one appt and kept running out of the door and generally being a pain in the bum) and that my health visitor could help with his behaviour! Cheeky cow!!

I left feeling a bit stupid and being rushed out the door, which I did last time too when I'd asked if I was likely to be early with this one as my first was 10 days. She just told me that they will come when ready (Well duh, I know this but thought it was a reasonable question!)

Sorry that turned into a rant and a half! Am I being oversensitive or is she a bit of a muppet??

 

[victoriav]

Sounds a bit muppetseque to me. I've had this from most of the midwives I've seen. They seem to rush me through so quickly; I understand they see hundreds of women like me, but they never seem to remember this is my first pregnancy so it's all new to me. I am going to say something if the next midwife is like this.

She really could have been more reassuring to you though. As far as I am concerned, that's their job.

 

[abc123x]

Sounds like a bit of a snot to me.

 

[humblebum]

Thanks, I wonder if it's because it's my 2nd she thinks I don't need reassurance but I think every pregnancy is a worrying time!

 

[blondieliz]

Wow, sounds just like my dippy midwife. It's so frustrating isn't it? I've got an appointment this afternoon, but tbh I know it's going to be pointless because I am pretty sure I could go in there and tell her anything and her reaction would be the same ' ahhhhh, you're no trouble are you love'


Grrrr thank god for b&b or I'd be screwed.

 

[humblebum]

Maybe it's the same one! Good luck x

 

[babybambi2011]

stupid dippy cow! ur lucky though, i dont see my midwife! i havnt seen her since 31weeks. and im 35 today, high risk too. im gettin induced/ c sectioned next week and she has no idea. im really struggling atm and i dont get any support off anyone else but my OH. its hard when hes at work too as i can just about get up n down the stairs so spend most of my time in bed as its where im most comfortable. i can honestly say id kill my mw! she was suposed to do a home visit last monday and she didnt turn up...and shes only in on mondays so i guess she thinks im suposed to chase after her....yet again!!!
seriously angry atm!!!

 

[mons75]

this is too bad that you guys had such bad mw's! Hope it gets better! x

 

[humblebum]

stupid dippy cow! ur lucky though, i dont see my midwife! i havnt seen her since 31weeks. and im 35 today, high risk too. im gettin induced/ c sectioned next week and she has no idea. im really struggling atm and i dont get any support off anyone else but my OH. its hard when hes at work too as i can just about get up n down the stairs so spend most of my time in bed as its where im most comfortable. i can honestly say id kill my mw! she was suposed to do a home visit last monday and she didnt turn up...and shes only in on mondays so i guess she thinks im suposed to chase after her....yet again!!!
seriously angry atm!!!

That is shocking! How does these people manage to become qualified?? Good luck for next week xxx

 

[cinnamum]

she seems very patronising and blunt.
i'd be blunt back... ''i was only asking''. etc.
i had a lovely MW last time, i want her again, i might have to try find her number and demand her again. LOL

 

[littleblonde]

mine is the same. She always runnin late and im out the door before i sat down lol.

 

[Louise1985]

u wonder why some of them are even midwifes! alot of them think because it is your second then they dont need to be as thorough!

luckily mine isnt bad but i havent seen her that much!

how big was alex when he was born rach?

dylan was 8lb 3 early so i think this is guna be another big one and especially now ive gone over!!!

xxxxxxxxxx

 

[leahsbabybump]

i once whent to see differant midwife as my usual one was on holiday and she spent the most of the time chatting on her fone :-@ she hardly ever spoke to me and when i askedher questions she made me feel like i was stupid. I think its because its our second baby they think that we should know what to expect etc etc but every pregnancy is differant i say so every question you ask is a reasonable question xx

 

[leahsbabybump]

stupid dippy cow! ur lucky though, i dont see my midwife! i havnt seen her since 31weeks. and im 35 today, high risk too. im gettin induced/ c sectioned next week and she has no idea. im really struggling atm and i dont get any support off anyone else but my OH. its hard when hes at work too as i can just about get up n down the stairs so spend most of my time in bed as its where im most comfortable. i can honestly say id kill my mw! she was suposed to do a home visit last monday and she didnt turn up...and shes only in on mondays so i guess she thinks im suposed to chase after her....yet again!!!
seriously angry atm!!!

you ought to report her i seen on the news the other day its actually a really serious disciplinary matter if health professionals dont make their appointment and dont chase things up etc. There was a health visitor on the news and they sackedher due to not attending appointments and failing with some other bits and bobs. Its really important if your high risk you get seen regular this isnt acceptable from her :-/

 

[milf2be]

She is nice enough but seems very dippy and not much use really. I've been this morning and she did all the checks etc which were fine. Heard bubs heartbeat which is always lovely.

I mentioned my hands and feet have puffed up a bit and I'd had flashing spots in my eyes a few times. She told me bp was fine and nothing in my urine. Then said I should have rung triage as that's their job (thought it was hers tbh!)

She also asked how big Alex was at birth while she was feeling baby but didn't say why she'd asked so I asked her what kind of size she thought this one was but just said "Oh you've got weeks left!"

Got told I should take my son with me (even though he was a nightmare when I took him to one appt and kept running out of the door and generally being a pain in the bum) and that my health visitor could help with his behaviour! Cheeky cow!!

I left feeling a bit stupid and being rushed out the door, which I did last time too when I'd asked if I was likely to be early with this one as my first was 10 days. She just told me that they will come when ready (Well duh, I know this but thought it was a reasonable question!)

Sorry that turned into a rant and a half! Am I being oversensitive or is she a bit of a muppet??

hmmm i think its a bit of both tbh. im a student midwife and also 31 weeks with my first baby, so i can see both sides.

with the puffed up hands and feet - it can just be a normal pregnancy thing, especially if its been hot, but it also can be a sign of pre eclampsia. The flashing lights you experienced can also be a sign, but to diagnose pre eclmapsia you need to have protein in your urine and high blood pressure. i think what she was saying if you have flashing lights you should call triage, because thats all she is able to do too and not to worry about ringing them because that is what they are there for (maybe what she said came out wrong?)

as for the size thing, i think she was just trying to make conversation, you cant tell the size too much from just feeling the abdomen.

again with the HV i think it just came out wrong and was just trying to be helpful. not all women are aware that the HV is there for things like that

as for the when will they come - as you've already said we have no idea! its not something we can even guess at lol.

you've just reminded me of a funny story - was doing a placement on labour ward and i was looking after an asian lady who was being induced. the OH kept asking me what time the baby was going to be born the conversation went something like this:

OH: what time is baby going to be here
me: i dont know, we cant really predict these things, especially since your wife is being induced
OH: oh ok, but approximately?
me: i really have no idea, we havent started inducing her yet, once shes in established labour we could give you a very rough guess of what we would be expecting
OH: how long does it take to be induced?
me: i dont know it varies from woman to woman and every pregnancy is different
OH: how long does it take to get into established labour
me: i dont know, but once she has been on the trace for a bit, we will get her up and walking around and bouncing on the ball to help bring baby's head down and move it along
OH: how much quicker will that make it?

DO I LOOK PSYCHIC TO YOU????

 

[CandyApple19]

she sounds a little bit dippy, but i had a midwife at my hospital who took care of us and the midwives called her 'aunt pat' and she was a little bit loopy and very over enthusiastic, but sometimes when she'd review you she wouldn't write what you'd said in your notes, like, 'is comfortable' if i wasn't at all and asked for pain relief etc etc. Some midwives are so head over heels with work and so so busy that they don't really realise that they may come across a little bit unhelpful, they have to see soo many of us each day and trying to show full enthusiasm to each one of us if everything is perfectly fine must be difficult after a while, but i do know how you feel, all u can do is listen to your body and if something does seem wrong, do just go to triage, and don't bother with her. x

 

[BettyBoop152]

I've had a MW who was like this... Bumbled along and rushed me etc but I ask to see someone else and haven't seen her since, what a nice and thorough lady my new one is... Won't hurt to ask for someone else hun, it's a daunting experience anyway without a crap MW adding to your stress lol xxxx

 

[fola_e]

There is no such thing as overreacting when it comes to your or your unborn baby's welfare!

I posted this recently...its long but VERY VERY IMPORTANT, PLEASE READ!!

I've been visiting this site obsessively since getting my BFP on 25th Dec 2010 (best Christmas present EVER!) i've never posted before but feel it is very important to.

I'd been having the most straight forward pregnancy - no morning sickness, energy levels fine. The only difference was a huge increase in appetite, especially for junk :/

I started to get headaches and swelling around my 22nd week - fingers would bloat, ankles would get very tight, especially towards the end of the day. It didn't help that my job is office based and sitting down I could literally feel fluid heading south.

I had my 25/40 midwife check - I mentioned the headaches and swelling and was told to make sure to keep feet raised as much as possible. The midwife checked my urine for protein. It came back with the highest reading of +5. The midwife seemed really concerned and asked me to give a second urine sample, again it came back +5. She told me that perhaps the reading was high because the samples i'd provided were both quite small. She said it could be the high concentration giving off such a high reading. She asked me to go away for a few minutes, drink as much as possible and provide a third sample. I did and this time it came back much lower protein. I was a little shaken but felt reassured by the time i'd left the midwife.

I'd read on here that swelling could be a sign of pre-eclampsia but didn't think too much of it. I also read that headaches and sudden swelling in the face, especially the eyes is something that needs to be checked out.

On 25+5 I woke up with a swollen face. My eyes had puffed out so I called the labour ward and they told me to come in immediately. Then it all spiralled out of control....

-protein in my urine was very high +5 again
-my headache worsened
-my whole face, neck, arms, knees, feet had swollen massively
-chest began to tighten

My blood pressure had rocketed, they thought I had pre-eclampsia and I was told they needed to admit me to another hospital for more checks and somewhere with a specialised neonatal care unit in case they needed to deliver my son urgently.

The following morning, my condition had worsened. They sent me for an ultrasound and I was told the baby was measuring small. He wasn't getting enough blood and fluids around him were low. The doctors explained I might have to have a c-section within the next week.

The next day I woke up in hospital with a blinding headache and tight chest. Baby wasn't doing well and neither was I. The doctors told me I'd be having an emergency c-section that day. I was given a couple of steroid injections to help my son's lungs mature.

On the 25th May at 14:54 Ciaran was born weighing 640g, he cried three times, which the doctors seemed very shocked at. Within an hour, my swelling began to go down, chest loosened and my head was clear. I spent 6 more days in hospital until my blood pressure had come down and am now resting at home.

UPDATE - Ciaran was doing really well, very stable and so the doctors decided to reduce the amount of help he was getting with the ventilator. As soon as they took him off, he collapsed. The hospital called us in urgently for 'the talk' - we were asked if we want to continue trying as he lungs are underdeveloped and his blood was very acidic. The consultant kept saying she was 'very very concerned' especially about his lungs. We were advised to bring a priest in and any family that night as they were unsure if he'd make it to morning. That was the most terrifying night of this whole rollercoaster. Me and my partner stayed up praying and talking that night. Ciaran had a blood tranfusion they upped his ventilator and was being monitored every half hour. This happened on Friday night and I'm so delighted to say he's doing so much better now. They have re-introduced his milk intake AND upped the dosage, his oxygen levels are better, blood less acidic. Its one day at a time but I have every faith he's coming home soon.

The reason for my post is just to reinforce never to take any symptoms lightly. MIDWIFE'S CAN GET IT WRONG, MINE DID! Going to the hospital to get checked out, at worst will be a waste of a few hours. For me, it saved me and my sons life.

Love to all x

 

[lhancock90]

My midwife is more interested in lecturing me about ante-natal classes and breastfeeding rather than listening to my concerns! As nice as she is, she seems to think because I'm young she can basically just decide everything for me!
She refused to give me anything for crippling sciatica and told me to just get on with heartburn! All my friends and family were prescribed medicine for both

 

[T8ty]

My midwife was horrible,really rude and looked really dirty. At one of my first appts she weighed me and went 'oh this is the bit that everyone hates' and when i stood on the scales she said 'oooo look its going up' ... so i was just rude back and said 'well you stand on there then and lets see your weight!' (probably slightly harsh of me but she made me feel like crap so i thought it was only fair!)She continued with all sorts of phrases which i saw as inapropriate.. such as 'oh you planned for this baby but your only 21' etc!
She was just as horrible on my next appt so i changed for a different midwife which meant travelling a little further to see ... but she is wonderful and has helped me loads.

So just shows if you dont ask you dont get! So glad i did!