Unsure of what to do! Want to try but..

[Aimeewaymee]

So after a couple of years I am back! Have 2 ridiculously cute girls, 2 and 4. Me and other half had been through a massive rough patch the beginning of the year and split but we have gotten over that and moving forward. We've been back together since May now and seem stronger than ever! Which is brilliant. Only thing that is effecting our relationship is my sex drive and not really having much of one anymore. Could be due to the pill as the same thing that happened when I had the implant in and the nurse said when putting me on the pills that they had the same hormones in. (Evil bitch hormones then! ) So, I have taken myself off of my pill just to see if it is.. and all OH keeps saying is can we please have another baby now. We have sat down and we have planned so much out, im enjoying working at the moment and not working and leaving him to 'save' for everything we have planned will just put a massive strain on the relationship. I can see it now. We live in a council flat, we have HORRIBLE neighbours above which I try to have nothing to do with but they try to itimidate etc. So we want to save to buy our own house, we want to get married in a couple of years time too. Money doesn't grow on trees so I'm trying to come to a happy medium. I would love another child, but just a little unsure of which way to turn at the moment.

 

[Beccaboop]

Hi I can't really help you decide what to do about having another baby but just wanted to say that the pill definitely reduced my sex drive and the implant too if that helps at all

Good luck and remember you can always get married, buy a house and have a career after another baby

 

[arturia]

It's important to remember that there are alternatives to the pill. I'm going to guess condoms aren't for you but you could consider the copper IUD. If you're up to putting in the work I've heard properly executed NFP can be quite effective, but as it requires a lot of groundwork it's not really for everyone.

On the topic of whether to have another baby or not, the truth is that's not something others can decide for you. Obviously consider if you're emotionally/physically ready to handle another infant/go through pregnancy, and what will happen to the finances. I note that you've discussed this with your husband and leaned towards 'not working', so here's an argument for going back to work once the child is born.

When it comes to working, it's important to consider what your career is: will it pay for day care? Truth is usually not. But what many women fail to consider is their future potential as well. Is your career going anywhere? Notably research shows that every year a woman takes off work (usually for babies) decreases their future earning potential. Which means it's sometimes a better idea to take the financial hit in the short term in favor of career growth.