Unsure OH...

[jenny82]

How did your OHs react?

Mine is ok-ish but also not when I push him on it. He is fine with what I want to do, but is worried about the risks, and the fact that if anything bad happened, I would never forgive myself :/

Hes worried about the cord getting caught, resuscitation, things going wrong. We live 10 mins from the hospital and in an ambulance, even less. In fact, there is another maternity unit right at the bottom of our road, so we could go there if needed in about 3 minutes.

He won't rely on websites that I've shown him or stories from here, as he says its anecdotal and won't be the full story. But I can't provide him with anything more concrete than that :/ The homebirth.org.uk isn't as up to date as he'd like and didn't reassure him as it did me. His unsure-ness is making me unsure. If the MW comes to the house, he will be here though so he can ask questions then..

 

[Blah11]

Mine hates hospitals so was very supportive LOL Bless your OH though. He does know the MWs bring resus equipment with them and I'd drill it into him that you have 1 on 1 or 2 on 2 care from a MW, not something you get at hospitals!

 

[jenny82]

I did tell him all this, but I think hes just scared for me and the baby. I think once the MW comes to the house, it will put his mind to rest. I just need him to be fully on board as I couldn't go through with it knowing he had doubts..

 

[Blah11]

the MW will probably be very pro homebirth so that should help

 

[jenny82]

True. May not get to that point still, but hopefully!!

 

[CharlotteLove]

Have him watch The Business of Being Born!

 

[jenny82]

He half-watched it over my shoulder when I was watching it! I'm trying to find a copy online to watch again as the youtube ones wouldn't all work :/

 

[hippylittlej]

my husband was a bit wary at first but my hypnobirthing tutor explained that actually you get better care at home as you have two midwives to yourself and at the birthing unit or hospital people come and go. Not sure what to suggest but so long as your midwife is on board then he should find that she puts his mind at rest.

He is now very very supportive even though the midwife I now have has decided I am too small.

 

[NaturalMomma]

The MW knows about cords (nuchal cords are rarely a problem), knows infant CPR, adult CPR, etc.

My DH was 100% on board from the moment I said something about it. In fact he asked me if I wanted to UC next time, but told him I'd rather have a MW assisted homebirth, so we did. Our first birth was in a hospital and it was so hands on, high tech, so many uneeded things, etc that it just left a bad taste in our mouths.

 

[BlueBug]

Maybe try explaining the alternatives to him. Mine was on board from the beginning of our midwife experience. I don't know how things work in hospitals/obgyns where you are, but we initially tried that road, and it wasn't good. The appts lasted literally 2-3 minutes, and we saw a different doctor each visit. There was no guarantee that you would have even met the doctor that showed up to deliver the baby when the time came. Once you were in the hospital you were not allowed to get up and move around, eat, or drink. You were quite honestly on their schedule and terms whereas a midwife will let you more freely make decisions about your birth.

Talk to your midwife (or have HIM talk to her) and have him voice all his concerns. A good widwife will be able to answer everything. I'm sure if the MW thought there was a true emergency, it would be handled properly.

 

[amjon]

OH knows basically nothing about what is normally done, so he is fine with whatever I say.

 

[imagine13]

My OH took a little while to be convinced but now he's fully on board after speaking to the midwife and doing his own research. Hope yours can be persuaded in time.

If you want a link to the business of being born here is a free one I found (took me a whole night of searching!)

https://www.watchmoviesonline88.com/Watch-the-business-of-being-born-online/

scroll down to watch online 1+ and click on free link