Unsure what to do finacially??

[augustbaby09]

https://www.babyandbump.com/single-parents/110411-new-unsupported.html


I posted that the other week. Basically long term partner who i lived with suddenly split with me i told him i was pregnant since then he won't talk to me and im assuming he is thinking by blanking and ignoring it would make me abort this child (because he thinks i did it purposly to trap him).Particularly because he doesnt even know how far along iam and probably has convinced himself iam lying and not pregnant (he has a crazy mind like that)


Iam 21 and i was studying at the time - ive had to leave that and at the moment im not working.Ive thought long and hard and have decided to go job center (although i know i won't get employed now) which means i should leas tbe able to get that £500 grant..?

Ive moved back in with my mum who has more then enough space for me and this baby and she is the only one who will be supporting me emotionally and financially.I dont really know anyone with children so everything will be bought from new (so will be quite costly).

Iam a bit ignorant with this whole CSA etc but iam guessing its a support agency where they can try to ge the father of a child to pay maitenance. Im assumiing DNA is done if a man doesnt aknowledge the child..?My problem is as much as i think by childs father is a complete and utter coward and it is distgusting how he has left me like this.I didnt plan for this child however iam dealing with it the best i can although iam an emotional wreck.

I dont know if id like to do that though (try and get money - if he doesnt offer it off his own back)- maybe its me cutting off my nose to spite my face but he thinks ive done this to keep him - and i haven't at all ! I know it isnt fair that perhaps iam having his child but ive had a termination and a miscarriage (both his babies) and i cant bare the pain again. Yet i feel if i demand money etc it may look like i did want this babyto control him etc.(He already has an ex who uses his daughter/ boy he took on as his own - as weapons - and takes him for a mug with money) I believe he SHOULD be there emotionally and financially for this child but ive even left lots of my expsnive items at the flat we had - because 1) im bit scared to go and take it and 2) although i shouldn't id feel bad removing a plasma , sofa fridge and loadsa other bits that ive bought. -


Am i being a mug basically as so many people i know keep saying go to the flat and strip the place and take what belongs to mw and then make sure i get money from him for this child. I keep telling them that - that could make the situation worse and by perhaps leaving everything and not contacting him he will realise iam willing to go through all this pain alone purely because i couldnt end a life AND NOT because i kept a baby to try and control him.

 

[starbucks101]

Hun, its your stuff go and get it, if you can into finacial hardship you've got stuff to sell to tide you over. If i were you id go and take all your stuff out of the flat whilst he's not there so there can be no argueing. Then leave him a letter explaining how your feeling & you will wait for him to contact you, then give him some space, he's probably shocked and if his ex is a cow with the kids you can sort of understand why he's taken it so badly. although its no excuse for him being an idiot!

 

[captain-ally]

When my ex left, he took a lot of stuff but I kept the majority. I am the one having the baby, not him. Same goes for you - you may need to sell that stuff to buy a crib if he won't pay support. Go with a couple of big friends to do the lifting when he's not at home, only remove what is entirely yours (nothing you bought together, he can charge you with theft even if you paid half) and like starbucks said - leave him a letter.

And don't let him play this head game with you. He's controlling you emotionally - every man knows the consequences of unprotected sex and seeing as he has 2 children, and you've had a termination and a miscarraige, he should know better than most men. Maybe if you get him for support as well as his ex, he'll make an effort to avoid bringing anymore fatherless children into the world. Don't feel guilty because of him.

 

[augustbaby09]

Thanks everyone - thats the whole thing i was on th epill and feel pregnant yet his big argument is saying orignally id stopped the pill to trap him...

Anyhows a bit of an update. Curiosity has obviously got the better of him and ive now had few txts saying how am i etc. I mean if there is a chance my child will have a father around ill take it as i know if he did bond with the child he wouldn't then leave it.

Im not jumping and im not letting him back (not that he's said he wants me) but as hard as it is ive come this far alone and if he wants to be there he can i shalln't stop him now but im not doing any beggign what so eevr and ill never forget his behaviour.Time will tell how he is but it looks by my lack of contacting him the jackass has obviously seen iam prepared to do things independently!!
Ill see how things go and see what his motives are suddenly. Least if iam civil there is more chance of my child being supported emotionally and financially by him. xx