Unwell and cannot handle work.. Help?

[Kirstlou21]

So I found out I am pregnant with my first child and me and my partner are very happy, prior to finding out I have been VERY unwell at work but have still been going in as my boss can be very intimidating. Since finding out I have been physically exhausted to the point I cannot keep my eyes open or concentrate I feel drained, I am bein sick and I just generally feel awful. I am a receptionist at a busy drs and I have just got a hour increase/pay rise, I cannot handle these 10/11 hour days whilst I feel like this ! I constantly want to break down. However I do not want to tell anybody or my boss until the 1st trimester is over, I want to make sure everything is ok - also I feel bad about the recent pay rise / hour increase due to just sacking a girl who was a pain! Which means less staff. I've also seen how she has treat/slagged off someone previously who fell pregnant which worries me. I got sent home yesterday as I just couldn't cope saying I might have a stomach bug and this morning I text in saying I still feel te same. I might go to the doctors and say I've already self certified for the first 7 days and ask for a sick note that does not mention prenancy ?? What does any one else think? I feel stressed and exhausted- I have done a lot for the company I go in when i really shouldn't and feel terrible- I never take my holidays and cover for anyone !! I just feel like I need some time to get back on track maybe take my folic acid and build up some energy. Help please ? My boyfriend says definitely not to tell them yet/ but my brother and family say to tell them. I feel bad because I've already lied!!

 

[RaspberryK]

You should tell them, they have to keep it confidential. If you are in the UK it's illegal to discriminate against you for being pregnant and time off sick due to pregnancy related can't be used in a disciplinary manner unlike excess time off for non pregnancy related sickness.
Xx

 

[Kirstlou21]

I just don't feel comfortable telling them before I have my scan and know everything is ok! I am a very quiet private person and the thought of having to tell everyone is mortifying enough without having to tell them I'm not pregnant anymore. Plus I haven't even seen my midwife yet. I would prefer to tell her when I know the facts but the illness is just unbearable!

 

[RaspberryK]

I had a missed miscarriage earlier in the year and I'd already had to tell work for health and safety reasons. It was so much easier letting them know about the miscarriage and having time off because of it since they already knew.
I've told them early again.
Pregnancy shouldn't be mortifying at all.
The only option is to carry on working the hours which you say you can't manage, go off sick but risk disciplinary action because they don't know about your pregnancy, or tell them so you can take time off more easily and maybe reduce your hours until you feel better.
Xx

 

[noon_child]

In the UK the HPA recommends that anyone with vomitting and/or diarhhoea not return to work till 48hrs after their last symptom has gone. In a Dr's surgery I'd assume it was important to stick to that as policy. Therefore you could easily say you were still vomitting for a few days and then get another 2 days after that where you shouldn't go in.

However there is no guarantee that you'd feel any better after just a weeks rest. If you can bite the bullet and tell them you are pregnant then like pp said you'll have more protection against discrimination and can have as much sicktime as you like!

 

[Kirstlou21]

Thanks. I'm going to go to the doctors and get a sick note I think and speak to my boss privately. I'll say I was going to wait but I've been too I'll, I don't want to take the mick but at the same time the stress and worry is making me feel even more unwell !!
Xx

 

[LadyHutch]

How many times a day are you throwing up?
Does vomiting resolve your nausea or does it continue even after vomiting?
Does the nausea last all day and is it keeping you from eating/drinking?
How's your sense of smell? Can you tell who is in the room just by smelling them?
Do you vomit for long periods of time?
How far along are you?

 

[Genevevex]

I would tell them, even this early. My sickness was so bad with my first pregnancy early on that I did the same thing, so I also told early in this pregnancy. I'm glad I did, because I've already had to take a day early off work because of it. I WISH maternity leave covered the first trimester, too! Working during this is the WORST!

 

[tamina800]

I see no reason to not tell them. I told my manager pretty much as soon as I found out 'coz I knew I was going to feel horrible the first trimester (past experience).
It's also a relief to not have the stress of covering up or lying about why you are sick or looking drowsy. If they treat you badly upon finding out, surely there are laws against it? A doctor's note is a great idea. I took one to my manager when I had bleeding and needed to lie in bed for a few days.
Things got so bad that I'm now working part-time, from home.
Everyone has been more than accommodating at work.

I really think you should tell your boss what you are going through.

 

[denswife3]

Kirstlou21, if I were you, I would just come out with it. You are stressed out from holding the knowledge to yourself and also the morning sickness. I had a rough pregnancy with my first child so I told my boss right away with this third one. Not sure where you are, but in CA they have disability leave. You should look up what kind of leaves or benefits your company offers and take advantage of it.. especially since you are ill. I hope you feel better.. the first trimester sucks.