Lemonflower
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Hi all
Update from me. Some may remember I was on here when fob left me when I was pregnant. He visited LO when he was 7 days old bringing dirty second hand clothes. He refused to pay any maintanence and I heard nothing from him for the next 8 weeks.
I contacted the CSA and when they spoke to FOB he denied paternity.
When LO was 10 weeks we were at home and his fiancé knocked on my door and impersonated a nurse - I let her in (never seen her before so I didn't know)
She asked me wierd personal questions and I just didn't feel right.
She left and I contacted the police. They spoke to her and my ex (fob) and they admitted to "just wanting to see the baby" as they said that they shouldn't have to pay for my mistake and a "kid that's not" theirs. His fiancé is actually a student and works as a care assistant.
The police accepted that "she didn't do it in malice" and they couldn't charge either of them! I was sooooo angry and disappointed in the police that day.
Contacted her work agency (after the police gave me her details) and they couldn't do anything either as the police didn't charge her.
I was pretty messed up by it for a couple if weeks but then pieced things back together.
Sorry... Some of you already know all that just updating people who didn't know.
I really didn't know what to do in regards to the CSA. After really thinking about it I decided that it was obvious he wasn't interested in LO (he wouldnt have denied paternity)and because his GF is mental (IMO - I mean to do that) I didn't want them in my sons life. I'd rather not have the money.
Didn't want to run the risk of him only seeing LO to spite me as he has to pay for him. So I called CSA and cancelled my claim. He got a letter confirming this - I wanted him to know I was backing down and didn't want anymore drama - however they went and told everyone that I was worried about a DNA test and me withdrawing my claim confirms my LO isn't his. I felt so angry cos he was making me out to be a slag when HE LEFT ME. He broke up our family!!
Police came to my house a week after his GF came into my house and installed a panic button. Apparently they were heard in public making drunk threats about my son.
That made me feel sick to my stomach...
Had it for a month and heard nothing from either so had it taken back.
So it's been 5 months since then and fob has put himself in full time education. So dropping the CSA was the best decision I made as he would have got on my son's BC and would have not been eligible to pay maintenance anyway.
I walk past him every day more or less... I thought I'd be so sad but I'm not.
The first 2 times I saw him I gave him dirty looks but now I glimps at him hold my head high and continue to push my baby past him.
I also got with a friend who helped my through my pregnancy. I really like him and he's fantastic with LO. Is early days and he knows I'm still a bit iffy with men and trust but he treats me and LO well and that's the main thing.
Things may not work but I've been very lucky that he's been around. (Though after what fob put me through I know I could of done it alone anyway).
I love my baby and I don't regret meeting fob as I wouldn't have my gorgeous son today. If you read some of my old posts they were so sad and frightened. It's been a year and I'm so much better.
I live for my LO now and couldn't imagine life without him. He saved me and is my angel. I still get sad sometimes. Being a "single" mum IS lonely, draining, exhausting and frustrating at times I still cry but I am getting back to my old self and I am such a stronger better person.
Hope I don't sound bragging or "me, me me". Just wanted to share my story and update you. I also feel at home in this section and you ladies were so good to me when I needed it the most.
Best advice I can give you ladies who have been left whilst pregnant is IT DOES GET easier, the pain does fade... Not goes away - it may take years but it does get better with time. (Hated when people said that to me.)
Update from me. Some may remember I was on here when fob left me when I was pregnant. He visited LO when he was 7 days old bringing dirty second hand clothes. He refused to pay any maintanence and I heard nothing from him for the next 8 weeks.
I contacted the CSA and when they spoke to FOB he denied paternity.
When LO was 10 weeks we were at home and his fiancé knocked on my door and impersonated a nurse - I let her in (never seen her before so I didn't know)
She asked me wierd personal questions and I just didn't feel right.
She left and I contacted the police. They spoke to her and my ex (fob) and they admitted to "just wanting to see the baby" as they said that they shouldn't have to pay for my mistake and a "kid that's not" theirs. His fiancé is actually a student and works as a care assistant.
The police accepted that "she didn't do it in malice" and they couldn't charge either of them! I was sooooo angry and disappointed in the police that day.
Contacted her work agency (after the police gave me her details) and they couldn't do anything either as the police didn't charge her.
I was pretty messed up by it for a couple if weeks but then pieced things back together.
Sorry... Some of you already know all that just updating people who didn't know.
I really didn't know what to do in regards to the CSA. After really thinking about it I decided that it was obvious he wasn't interested in LO (he wouldnt have denied paternity)and because his GF is mental (IMO - I mean to do that) I didn't want them in my sons life. I'd rather not have the money.
Didn't want to run the risk of him only seeing LO to spite me as he has to pay for him. So I called CSA and cancelled my claim. He got a letter confirming this - I wanted him to know I was backing down and didn't want anymore drama - however they went and told everyone that I was worried about a DNA test and me withdrawing my claim confirms my LO isn't his. I felt so angry cos he was making me out to be a slag when HE LEFT ME. He broke up our family!!
Police came to my house a week after his GF came into my house and installed a panic button. Apparently they were heard in public making drunk threats about my son.
That made me feel sick to my stomach...
Had it for a month and heard nothing from either so had it taken back.
So it's been 5 months since then and fob has put himself in full time education. So dropping the CSA was the best decision I made as he would have got on my son's BC and would have not been eligible to pay maintenance anyway.
I walk past him every day more or less... I thought I'd be so sad but I'm not.
The first 2 times I saw him I gave him dirty looks but now I glimps at him hold my head high and continue to push my baby past him.
I also got with a friend who helped my through my pregnancy. I really like him and he's fantastic with LO. Is early days and he knows I'm still a bit iffy with men and trust but he treats me and LO well and that's the main thing.
Things may not work but I've been very lucky that he's been around. (Though after what fob put me through I know I could of done it alone anyway).
I love my baby and I don't regret meeting fob as I wouldn't have my gorgeous son today. If you read some of my old posts they were so sad and frightened. It's been a year and I'm so much better.
I live for my LO now and couldn't imagine life without him. He saved me and is my angel. I still get sad sometimes. Being a "single" mum IS lonely, draining, exhausting and frustrating at times I still cry but I am getting back to my old self and I am such a stronger better person.
Hope I don't sound bragging or "me, me me". Just wanted to share my story and update you. I also feel at home in this section and you ladies were so good to me when I needed it the most.
Best advice I can give you ladies who have been left whilst pregnant is IT DOES GET easier, the pain does fade... Not goes away - it may take years but it does get better with time. (Hated when people said that to me.)
I admire ur strength n all women who do it.
so sorry you are getting over that loser,may he have fun in loserville.That advice is the worse to hear while you are hurting but it is so true.Time...is all you need to heal.The length of time depends on the person.So glad you are dating and realizing that not all men are bad,just a huge percentage is.I am just realizing this and I am like you,I have my moments,but I am so inspired by your story.Your strength is amazing 
