Vent about baby name

[tinymumma]

We have just found out we are having a little girl and we are both beyond excited. My husband chose our sons first and middle name, which at first I didn't like but it grew on me and even before he was born, I just knew it was his name.
I've had a girl name picked since I was about 10 (as you do, lol) and ever since we found out I was pregnant, I just knew she was a girlie (I knew my little man was a boy too). Hubs has always said he liked the girl name but now we know she is a girl, he all of a sudden hates it?! 😠 None of the family like it either (except for my nanas, since its "old fashioned") but then again they didn't like our son's name either.
It's a very out there and different name, just like our son's. It's not like we could call her Sarah or something after our son having such a unique name...
I'm so set on this name and have two different middle names I love and am thinking of letting hubby choose out of those two for the middle name but I don't want to budge on the first name.
Am I wrong for this? I've loved this name for ever and I'm the one giving birth to her, plus having no say in our son's name, I feel that I shouldn't have to change my mind. Everyone keeps saying but what nickname would we give her, its weird etc but heck, we don't even call our son his nickname half of the time (we all call him Peapod or Mr. Pea). Should I just stand my ground and risk the fact that hubby could resent me ( over thinking here) or do I give in and compromise? I really don't want to 😭

 

[Amygdala]

Does he have actual points of criticism, eg it sounds like a rude word or reminds him of his ex or anything like that? If not, I'd (very politely and sensitively) tell him that he got to pick your boy's name and to suck it up. You've liked this name for a long time, it's not a passing infatuation, and you'd likely regret if you didn't use it. If you don't want to put your foot down or he really, really can't get on board with it, I'd insist to use it as a middle name at least.

 

[flipporama1]

Does he have actual points of criticism, eg it sounds like a rude word or reminds him of his ex or anything like that? If not, I'd (very politely and sensitively) tell him that he got to pick your boy's name and to suck it up. You've liked this name for a long time, it's not a passing infatuation, and you'd likely regret if you didn't use it. If you don't want to put your foot down or he really, really can't get on board with it, I'd insist to use it as a middle name at least.

I agree 100%
He needs to suck it up!

 

[Chiochick]

I'm torn here lol so my input may be invalid.
But.
When I first read this, my first thought was that I would never choose a name my SO hated.
It's our baby together and it has to be something we will both enjoy and both feel like we contributed.
I have scrapped several names I LOVED this pregnancy because SO was not sold and vice versa.

ON THE OTHER HAND (lol)
We cannot agree on a girl name. And I feel more inclined to give into him a bit on a name that I'm not so in love with because this is his first baby and my 3rd.
In the same sense, your hubby had full input on the last baby. Therefore I feel like he should not be so stonewalled with this baby since he's already "gotten his way". Especially if he's already said he's liked the name and now changed his mind after you've already had your heart set.

So I guess, if he isn't dead set against it, I agree, explain your feelings and tell him "it's my turn"

 

[lkkha]

My husband didn't like our youngest daughters name (Tallulah) and still isn't over gone on it now, but as he had chosen the names for both of our youngest 2 boys (1 of them I really didn't want but I ended up giving in as he was nearly a week old and all the children wanted that name too!). I told him before I was even pregnant that if we had ever had another girl that is what she would be called. He tried to talk me out of it but I wasn't changing my mind, it was only fair I got a turn! I am so glad I did use that name as I love it and would've really regretted not having it

 

[Rymel12]

No one ever warned me that naming a baby would be a compromise. I guess I always imagined that my husband would love whatever name I had picked out or loved for years. Not the case. We went through many names I suggested for our daughter before we came to one that I liked that he also liked and then I let him pick the middle name (which I no longer like but at least it's just the middle name). For the boys name this time around I got lucky with a name I've loved for years that my husband loved and yet again I let him choose the middle name. That's our compromise. I think in your case, the compromise is you get to pick the first name this time around since he picked last time, like others said. It seems like the right thing to do. If you're willing to bend on letting him pick the middle, then that's an even better compromise for him.

 

[Rymel12]

No one ever warned me that naming a baby would be a compromise. I guess I always imagined that my husband would love whatever name I had picked out or loved for years. Not the case. We went through many names I suggested for our daughter before we came to one that I liked that he also liked and then I let him pick the middle name (which I no longer like but at least it's just the middle name). For the boys name this time around I got lucky with a name I've loved for years that my husband loved and yet again I let him choose the middle name. That's our compromise. I think in your case, the compromise is you get to pick the first name this time around since he picked last time, like others said. It seems like the right thing to do. If you're willing to bend on letting him pick the middle, then that's an even better compromise for him.

 

[iluvcocopops]

Well my husband picked our DD name - Molly after his granny, but we ended up calling her Molly-Rose (Rose after my granny, plus I felt Molly was getting very popular & I wanted her to have a unique name). This time round my DH hates all the names I suggest & my reply to him 'you got your Molly, so I'm naming this one'. Good luck with it x

 

[tinymumma]

Thanks ladies xx I just don't know why he backflipped? Hopefully he will come around to loving it, like I did

 

[EverythingXd]

When you say your hubby chose your DS's name, did he choose it halfway through your pregnancy and then say "suck it up"? If so, I'm surprised that it grew on you. I know I certainly wouldn't take to a name that has been forced on me in that way. If that happened, then I guess fair's fair, but such a shame.

I think it would be better if you leave your name choice as 'favourite' for now. I wouldn't say at this stage 'tough luck' but just hope that it grows on him. If he can't come up with a name that you also love (which is unlikely seeing as you've fallen in love with a name already) then I hope he will concede and let you have your choice without you having to dig your heels in.

 

[Jennifurball]

You go with your heart. My daughter's dad and his family didn't like my name choice for my daughter but I love it, and she suits it so much. As it happens he's hardly in the picture now, so I am glad I stuck at it and didn't choose a name I wasn't happy with to please others, she already had his surname which I am not happy with.

I was the one doing the 9 month slog and going through labour, not them. x

 

[2have4kids]

While I think names should be chosen together you guys have moved away from that by letting each other make the ultimate choice himog son's name, and likewise you of your girls' name. Unless it's a totally bizarre name that baby and the world will forever be asking 'how do you say/spell that?' i wouldn't budge. If he can dig his heels in with the entirety of your son's name why would you give up on yhe first name of your girl. He set the rules when he did that. You've been more than generous by giving him the middle name to pick. And if you tell him ok we can add my fav name to our favourites list, you open the door for discussion - a slippery slope to him getting his way again.

 

[Laylagirl]

This probably isn't relevant to the topic, but out of respect for my mother in law, I chose to name my daughter after her mother AND father... her. And is Emilia Rosario,.. Emilia was my mother in laws moms name and Rosario was her dad's name.. my husband was on board.. my mother in law was happy.... we loved the name... what I DIDNT love was that my mother in law and my sister in law started calling Emilia "mills" or "Milly", which I complete hate... with a passion... well my daughter is now 4 years old and the other day she asked my husband and I "why does auntie and your mom (she doesn't call my husbands mom grandma) call me "mills".... we took that moment to let her know that if she doesn't like that name, she just has to say "my name is Emilia"... lol... sorry, that probably didn't help... just a funny story...

And just FYI on the above (....), my daughter does not call my husbands mom grandma because she never sees her... my daughter has called before severa times and left messages, but mother in law is mad at my husband and I and chooses not to see the kids either...

 

[OhHappyZ]

Well it is give and take. On the last you gave and he took. This time he needs to swap places with you.

Now I'm just crazy curious what the name is?

 

[Tryingagain3]

I'd also like to know what the name is.. choosing names is so hard! Me and my oh liked a few boys names but could not agree on any girls names at all! This is because I love traditional boys names but girls names to be a little different.. not crazy different!
Anyway my daughter is called Evelyn (Evie) and at the time of naming it was quite unheard of.
This time round I loved darcy and willow and he HATED both I liked about 5 others that he hated also.. luckily my baby is a boy and we agreed on Harry which is my favourite and he liked it but let me have it.
I get it's annoying that he got to pick your sons name and you feel you have the right to pick your daughters but I kind of think that you should both agree.. but i don't think your totally in the wrong for putting your foot down xxx

 

[tinymumma]

He still is dismissing even talking about her, due to our history, which is understandable but is still not keen on the name.

Our son's name is Leonidas and the name I love for a girl is Temperance

 

[DeuceMom]

deleted

 

[OhHappyZ]

Oh I love that name so much. So complimentary to your sons name too!

 

[Jessicahide]

Oh you poor thing, it feels like he has moved the goal posts after you "sucked it up" when it came to ds's name too.... I think its unfair, Dh picked our little girls name, but luckily its a name that i have personally always wanted to use but he refused before?!! Men can be strange at times xxxx I hope it all works out xxx