[Vent] Anyone else feel overwhelmed so early on??

[NinjaPanda]

Ok so, DH and I just found out I am pregnant and I'm at 5 weeks and both our families know along with a couple close friends that are pretty much family. Already I am having advice and statistics shoved down my throat though. I am ready to snap. All of our family has to say their two cents (they are very overly enthusiastic about this) and then I have this one very close friend that seems to love reminding me that 1 in 4 pregnancies end in miscarriages but then follows up with "make sure you relax and don't stress too much".... Well then stop freaking telling me I could have a miscarriage! (even though nobody in my family has ever miscarried before.... I know it's not a hereditary thing but I'd like to be positive and think my chances of carrying to term are better) I mean c'mon! Let me just enjoy the fact that I am pregnant and leave me the heck alone! Lol. Sorry, I needed to vent. Anyone else feel overwhelmed like this?

Oh, and DH wants me to tell my principal the news this week but I don't know.... I feel like it's too early to start talking about it too much but I understand where he is coming from. He's excited and wants to tell everyone plus we live in a small town and his mom employs a woman who has a student at my school. DH also works at the company with this woman so chances of news or gossip spreading are higher and he thinks it's better coming from me right away before any chance of it getting to him via hearsay. Thoughts?

 

[Blu10]

We told everyone when i was preg for the first time and then I mc at nearly 6 weeks so when i had DS we literally told my parents and a close friend. Im preg again now and havent even told my parents yet. If all goes to plan this will be my last preg so we want to enjoy it for us for a few weeks first.
Im afraid if you tell people whether early or not you have to be prepared for everyones opinion, i just used to smile and take it with a pinch of salt. Good Luck xx

 

[Buffyx]

People are going to give you their unwanted opinions and facts and whatever else throughout your whole pregnancy. That, you'll have to get used to! Lol.

I had a mc before this pregnancy and we had told only our parents and siblings. The hardest part for me was disappointing them with the news.

This time we have told them again, but I've made it 2 weeks past what I did with my miscarriage and now my husband wants to tell some of his friends. We had a fight about it because last time, it was the worst part for me having to tell people. Why would I want to possibly have to tell even more people this time?!

 

[TTC First]

I feel guilty for not telling anyone but I have a history of mc. I am so thankful we didn't tell anyone before. We are not telling anyone till I can't hide it anymore.

My opinion, don't tell anyone additional if you are already overwhelmed with peoples reaction. It's your pregnancy, do it when you are ready.

 

[tryn4]

Lol friends and family will be like that. I personally wouldn't tell boss or coworkers yet. Way too early. By the end of my last pregnancy I had a coworker that would corner me in the kitchen to feel up my belly which at first I didn't mind cuz she's a sweet lady but it irritated me by the end lol...Try to be patient with your family and friends they probably don't realize how annoying those unsolicited advice is. Congratulations!

 

[pgfairy]

It seems to me that it's one of life's cruellest jokes that being pregnant makes everyone around you lose all sense of decorum, tact and boundaries while at the same time pumping you so full of hormones that you want to rip people's necks out with your bare teeth. I honestly think there should be an unconditional pardon for any woman who commits murder while someone is touching her stomach without asking.

I'm still having an internal screaming match with my dad who told me in one breath 'nobody is going to tell you you're doing it wrong when you have the baby' and in the next breath told me that the way I planned to sleep my child (in the room with us for the first however long to aid breastfeeding and lower the chance of SIDS) was going to make me raise a spoiled brat.

I think my point is if you figure out a solution for how to cope (and 'just smile' doesn't really work for me) then I'll buy it from you!

 

[spicyorange]

Everyone seems to have the I had a mc story and it's freaking me out to, I keep reminding myself that the majority (3 in 4) DON'T end in mc, so it will probably be fine

 

[Ajos]

I agree with Blu10 and will be keeping quiet as long as possible! I'm sure my family will be happy but will have plenty to say about us even thinking about another baby. I found most my 'maternity rage' stemmed from everyone's well-meaning but unasked for advice. Wait until you're in the 3rd trimester and everyone on the planet is telling you their horror birth stories!

 

[NinjaPanda]

Thanks everyone.... I really appreciate the input! I don't really want to make it a public thing until we pass the first trimester. So I'm hoping I can convince DH to be OK with just letting the small town rumor Mill run its course if anyone happens to catch wind of it.

Pgfairy- don't I hear that! My grandma was at my parents house when we found out and she immediately came and touched my belly. I immediately felt a burning rage inside me. Lol, I felt bad for letting it bother me but "I don't even have a bump so don't touch my chub!" Is all I could think about.

 

[TTC First]

You guys have just convinced me to keep this quiet as long as possible. I wonder if I could just convince people that I am gaining weight. I really don't want odd people touching my belly. DH feels my bump every day and that's enough for me. Although I could do less of the comments "Its getting bigger"! lol

You know, they have shirts that say hands off and stuff like that.

https://www.google.ca/search?q=hand...SuyATPg4KYAg&ved=0CAgQ_AUoAQ&biw=1280&bih=715

 

[NinjaPanda]

I just have to say.... I love my MIL right now! We just told DH's parents today and she convinced DH to wait on telling work. She is a nurse practitioner that used to specialize in prenatal care and has delivered several babies and so she gave me tons of useful advice! I left their house feeling a lot better!

 

[tryn4]

That's great...The novelty hopefully will taper off a bit after a while. X

 

[Buffyx]

Glad to hear it

 

[Longl3gz]

This is my 2nd pregancy and I'm nearly 6 weeks. I'm extremely paranoid about a MC. We plan on keeping our mouths shut until our first U/s. It's hard for me to contain my excitement, but at the same time I know that once the cat is outta the bag, we will be judged. I just have to be prepared for comments such as the age gap b/n my first child and 2nd. But, I'll probably snap anyways lol.

 

[Ajos]

Why would you be judged Longl3gz, if you don't mind me asking?

I'm hoping this time I have a stealth bump until the scan I had a huge bump last time. In fact, I've been asked a few times since I had the girls if I'm pregnant again when it's just the left overs. Maybe this will be a handy smoke screen

I don't think anyone (apart from close friends and family members) tried to touch my belly. Maybe they could tell I wouldn't appreciate it!

 

[Insomniash]

When I found out I was pregnant I told everyone pretty much right away without thinking about the risk of miscarriage. I was just so astonished that I was pregnant I happily blurted it out to everyone I came into contact with lol. Then people started to say, "Oh, that is great, but it is still early". Only then did I start to worry about miscarriage so I definitely can identify. Fortunately I am still pregnant and it has been incident free, and the cautionary warnings have passed now.

 

[NinjaPanda]

When I found out I was pregnant I told everyone pretty much right away without thinking about the risk of miscarriage. I was just so astonished that I was pregnant I happily blurted it out to everyone I came into contact with lol. Then people started to say, "Oh, that is great, but it is still early". Only then did I start to worry about miscarriage so I definitely can identify. Fortunately I am still pregnant and it has been incident free, and the cautionary warnings have passed now.

Glad to hear from someone that blurted early! As it stands only our close friends and immediate families know and we're going to try to keep it that way for the next 4 weeks at least (MIL suggested that we don't say anything for another 3-4 weeks, then we should be good) but DH is having a hard time containing his excitement as is my brother (thankfully my brother lives 6 hours away because he's been so excited that he's told all of his friends! Lol)

 

[spicyorange]

I've told two people and both said "congratulations but it's still very early" they might as well say "yeh but you might lose it"

 

[GoHawks]

I completely understand! My husband has been really excited and he wanted to tell his best friend, but when he did his best friend just kept talking about how it was too early to be excited and that something could happen. This really bothered because he is supposed to be my husbands best friend, he really should just be there and be happy. Drives me crazy that people have to comment on how 1 in 4 pregnancies end in miscarriage, like they think we arent already going crazy with these thoughts in our own heads?!

We decided to say screw it we are going to tell our family and close friends because if something does happen I would rather they all know and can help support us than just hide it all!

 

[MamaLoCo]

I'm not overwhelmed with advice, except for my mom begging me to go home. I also heard that my dad is thinking about moving in with his girlfriend and offering us his house. They live over 500 miles away...so they think DH and I should both quit our jobs, lose my insurance, and move into a free house and get on Medicaid and food stamps or something. Parents just worry and want their kids home, I guess.

We told very few people - parents and best friends. Somehow though, DH keeps getting facebook messaes from cousins and random family members congratulating him. It's very frustrating because he's already had to go back and tell everyone that it's a SECRET right now as my first appointment isn't until 9 weeks ( days from now - but this has been going on since we found out) so for all we know, the baby isn't even alive anymore. We haven't even seen or heard a heart beat but still, so many people know who we didn't want to know yet.

If not even parents can honor your privacy, I'd hold off on telling anyone in a small town gossip ring.