VENT: Insensitiveness at the EPU

[RachiePachie]

I had to go to the EPU this morning to get more blood tests done to make sure the baby is developing. But honestly, I'm P**sed off!

RECAP OF THE EPU - WEDNESDAY
In the early hours of Wednesday morning they said that my Cervix was still closed (which means no immanent miscarriage). A good thing.

Then the doctor and nurse came back in to tell me their pregnancy tests (2) had come back negative so I must have miscarried - which I didn't believe since my 1 and the A&E's 1 came back positive just hours before.

Then the nurse came back to me as I was leaving to say actually the tests were positive.

TODAY
I went to have my bloods done and the nurse said what we are doing are some blood tests and we'll be looking for the level to have gone down. AAAAGGGHHHH! She's supposed to look for the levels increasing - decreasing means a miscarriage. Nothing is immanent. I'm so angry. Everyone is looking on this negatively.

I still have the symptoms and I did one more test last night and the line was darker than ever which to me means that the hormones are stronger.

Even if the worst has happened shouldn't they be more sensitive and look on the bright side until the worst is confirmed.

My husband says that I should write a letter of complaint because of the extra stress that they are causing which could potentially make something which is perfectly fine into the worst case scenario.

I'm so angry!

If on Monday the test comes back as positive then I will be transferring to another EPU and hospital because I can't be done with their insensitive bull!

 

[Vickie]

That's horrible! I can understand why you are upset over it. Try not to get too stressed over it though for your sake and the little one's sake.

 

[coccyx]

So sorry you are having such a bad time. Do know from my own experiences that hpt can show a positive for many weeks after a miscarriage. The stress of not knowing if you have a viable pregnancy is horrible. Couldn't they scan you ? How far along are you. Good luck

 

[RachiePachie]

So sorry you are having such a bad time. Do know from my own experiences that hpt can show a positive for many weeks after a miscarriage. The stress of not knowing if you have a viable pregnancy is horrible. Couldn't they scan you ? How far along are you. Good luck

Well they think it's one of two things - it's either earlier than expected. We thought 5 1/2 weeks but it seems it now maybe less which wouldn't surprise me or it's a miscarriage - what narks me though is that they only ever talk about it being a miscarriage. I can move on if it is but the fact that they say it is without it being immanent and without proof really annoys me.

All the same I remain positive. I'm still tired. My breasts still tingle and ache, I still get nausea and so minor cramps - ok I'm still bleeding too but so do most women - it's not heavy it barley hits the towel.

 

[Jenny]

What incompetent staff they have. I agree with your hubby about writing a complaint. I remember when I was having a miscarriage they didn't tell me until HOURS later after they had run alll the tests to make sure it was really happening. What they've been doing is so unprofessional. I hope everything goes well hon and you get the answers you deserve.

 

[RachiePachie]

Thanks Jenny!

I'm glad I have Rhino skin but I will admit todays attitude pushed me too far and got both mine and the husbands back up and stressed out.

Once I know what the results are on Monday I will know how to word the complaint. And cross fingers all is well I will be asking to be transfered to a different Hospital all together.

 

[Stef]

Oh hun that really is crap. Just wanted to send u a hug x

 

[elles28]

Bloody useless staff grrrrr!! Glad you are staying positive I was in the same situation but I was lucky as the midwives could not have been nicer...sending you lots of ......Elle xx

 

[RachiePachie]

It's draining me of my energy to try and stay positive. But I'm confident. If it's the worst news on Monday then I'm happy in the sense I now know I can get pregnant (as it's taken us 4 years) and I'll send a letter of complaint about the added stress the EPU staff caused. If it's positive news which I have put every ounce of my faith in to believing then I'm gonna send a letter of complaint in and ask for a transfer!

 

[Tam]

I really do wonder at times why some people are in this proffession?!?

 

[RachiePachie]

I really do wonder at times why some people are in this proffession?!?

I'd say 90% are there because of money or familly (meaning there mom was a nurse or doctor etc) and they look forward to the lifestyle. I'd say only 10% are there because of dedication to their jobs and really wanting to help people.

 

[coccyx]

Know you have had an awful time, but think that there are a lot of great nurses and midwives out there. I have meet some really kind, professional ones through our miscarriages and pregnancies ( unfortunately ones you rememeber the most are the grumpy, uncaring ones!!!). Hope you get good news on monday and when you do, get referred to another hospital. Fingers crossed for you.

 

[RachiePachie]

Know you have had an awful time, but think that there are a lot of great nurses and midwives out there. I have meet some really kind, professional ones through our miscarriages and pregnancies ( unfortunately ones you rememeber the most are the grumpy, uncaring ones!!!). Hope you get good news on monday and when you do, get referred to another hospital. Fingers crossed for you.

That was my plan.

And I agree there are a lot of great nurses out there but they seem to be lacking at this hospital.

I'll find out the results between 2pm-3pm GMT on Monday!

 

[coccyx]

I did meet a trainee midwife who said she wasn't keen on babies and would never have any children as found labour animal like! She was hoping to emigrate once she qualified and thought extra qualification would be helpful! Lets hope shes many, many miles away

 

[RachiePachie]

I did meet a trainee midwife who said she wasn't keen on babies and would never have any children as found labour animal like! She was hoping to emigrate once she qualified and thought extra qualification would be helpful! Lets hope shes many, many miles away

OMG! That is bad - I'd have done a runner! I hope she's light years away not just many miles away!

 

[Alison]

I have had a very similar, negative experience overall at an EPU unit. I now hate the sight of the place, but I've had a suspected ectopic pregnancy and during 6 visits over two weeks I saw a total of 9 different people. Some were great (one midwife and one of the doctors I saw) but a Registrar scared the living daylights out of me and was so busy that she had to rush through her explanation and every time I asked a question she told me to wait, she hadn't finished!!! AAAAAAAHHH! If I hadn't been so upset I'd have got really angry.

I think they see so many people that the sympathy is sometimes sorely lacking. When two of the 9 told me my pregnancy had failed they told me not to be upset, I was so early that it wasn't ever a baby, just a cluster of cells. I told the consultant that with the greatest of respect it didn't make a jot of difference to me. That would have been my baby, and I'll sob and be "more upset than most" he saw if I bloomin' well wanted!

Do write and express your dissatisfaction- we're going to too.

 

[justme00]

I would definetly transfer and write a letter of complaint. What jerks! I mean I've heard of not trying to get women's hopes up when things are going bad but it's not like you were having any issues, right?

 

[fifi83]

It makes me so mad, they shouldnt be in that job.

I no they prob see and hear these things all the time but the should treat each one as there first. Sometimes at work i can answer the phone 50 times a day but each time i have to answer is like my first.

The other worrying thing about them been so insensitive is it puts you of going with other things, thinking your wasting there time. But in them cases i would follow my heart and think sod what they think. There the professional not us, so how do we no if any thing is up.

Thats it girl you stay postive till you get your results and take it easy

 

[Linzi]

Which hospital are you at, if you don't mind me asking?

I had a very similar experience when I started bleeding at 10 weeks. They told me in no uncertain terms I was having a miscarriage or an ectopic pregnancy, and they made me wait 2 days for a scan. They were very insensitive when I was crying because I was scared, the doctor was prodding my belly, I was in agony and crying because it hurt and he told me to shut up and the internal examination was very rough and I was never talked through what was happening.

This was at St James's in Leeds.

I wrote a complaint anyway, and haven't heard anything back.

Unfortunately, I think these days they have to tell you the worst possible case because of the dial-a-lawsuit thing that everyones getting into these days. They need to cover their backs. I know its not right, but thats probably why.

But yes, complain. I would.

xxx

 

[ElliesMum]

So sorry to hear how much stress the hospital is causing you. I agree until you know anything for sure, you must remain positive. Good luck with your results this afternoon.

Thinking of you