VENTING!!! Thread, all comments welcome

[Mrs. Atole]

Hey Ladies

I'm feeling tired, sad, angry and frustrated....
I've wanted nothing more than to be a mother but i'm still not
I'm 29 and dream about this everyday to see my belly growing to feel my baby kick and finally hold my baby in my arms

I see how wonderful my husband is with my nieces and nephews. It
scares me( my mind starts) what if he leaves me because it's taking so long for me to get pregnant ... i stop myself t and remind myself how much he loves me and we've discussed this he loves me no matter what

I see these women who don't care about there kids, who hurt them with their actions and words and even allow other people to hurt them. It just baffles me and pisses me off!! WHY does she have kids and I DON'T
( YET)
*God please help me not to feel this way ... i need you and the blessings you promised me .. in Jesus name.

 

[KatO79]

Mrs. Atole I'm so sorry that TTCing has been such a long process. I can sympathise as I'm a fellow LTTTC'er TTC #1 (although am currently almost 7 weeks pregnant after IVF #2 after 2 years TTCing which also included 6 failed IUIs, FXed it sticks).

If your DH truely loves you, he'll stick by your side! I seriously doubt he'll leave you in that case.

Have you considered getting you and your DH tested or consider maybe assisted conception? I know not everyone can afford it, thought I'd just ask if any of it is a possibility for you.

As for seeing horrible people have kids easily, it's so true, sometimes it's the worst people that have the easiest time conceiving! Unfortunately I don't think there's any fairness when it comes to who has an easy time conceiving or not

 

[2ducks]

I too have learned there is no fairness when it comes to who gets to have kids and who does not. My best friend is in her third trimester and the last time I saw her complained over and over again about how much she hates being pregnant and I kept thinking what I would give to trade places with her, I can be 7 months pregnant and she can be struggling to conceive.

Here is my vent session-I get really frustrated when women who have NEVER posted on BNB come just to tell everyone that they are pregnant. I mean, I get that you are thrilled but that is kind of rubbing it in everyone's face when you have not contributed here or offered support to others. I also hate it when women create accounts and type something like "my boobs hurt and I have liquid coming out of my nipples, am I pregnant?" How the heck are we supposed to know if you are pregnant??? Take a test or go see a doctor. It is a HUGE pet peeve of mine and I just ignore those posts even though I really want to jump in and tell those people off, anyway, I digress...

What we can do is continue to think positively and continue to support one another. Plus there are so many wonderful women on this board to rely on for emotional support. I am not religious but I always appreciate your prayers for others, it means a lot.

 

[Mrs. Atole]

Mrs. Atole I'm so sorry that TTCing has been such a long process. I can sympathise as I'm a fellow LTTTC'er TTC #1 (although am currently almost 7 weeks pregnant after IVF #2 after 2 years TTCing which also included 6 failed IUIs, FXed it sticks).

If your DH truely loves you, he'll stick by your side! I seriously doubt he'll leave you in that case.

Have you considered getting you and your DH tested or consider maybe assisted conception? I know not everyone can afford it, thought I'd just ask if any of it is a possibility for you.

As for seeing horrible people have kids easily, it's so true, sometimes it's the worst people that have the easiest time conceiving! Unfortunately I don't think there's any fairness when it comes to who has an easy time conceiving or not

Wow you must have some amazing insurance, or lots off money lol
I wish I could afford all that, I am believing and trusting in God he will bless me
I have taken Clomid but no luck yet, I had a mc @ 10 weeks 2014

I'm happy you finally got your BFP may God bless you with a healthy bby

 

[Mrs. Atole]

I too have learned there is no fairness when it comes to who gets to have kids and who does not. My best friend is in her third trimester and the last time I saw her complained over and over again about how much she hates being pregnant and I kept thinking what I would give to trade places with her, I can be 7 months pregnant and she can be struggling to conceive.

Here is my vent session-I get really frustrated when women who have NEVER posted on BNB come just to tell everyone that they are pregnant. I mean, I get that you are thrilled but that is kind of rubbing it in everyone's face when you have not contributed here or offered support to others. I also hate it when women create accounts and type something like "my boobs hurt and I have liquid coming out of my nipples, am I pregnant?" How the heck are we supposed to know if you are pregnant??? Take a test or go see a doctor. It is a HUGE pet peeve of mine and I just ignore those posts even though I really want to jump in and tell those people off, anyway, I digress...

What we can do is continue to think positively and continue to support one another. Plus there are so many wonderful women on this board to rely on for emotional support. I am not religious but I always appreciate your prayers for others, it means a lot.

Your friend is insensitive ( if she doesn't know your struggle) why act like that in front of you ?? ugh....
I hate that my family knows my struggle and yet they call me to say so and so is pregnant its like wow good for them, then they ask something stupid like wow when are you and hubby gonna have a baby
I'm thinking shut up..

I know what you mean about some of the ladies on here who just want to brag , like this one who shows her belly and says I might be preg but not sure ... dude if your belly is growing and you haven't gotten your period what do you think!!!

However I do love when women make their post and we all go on a journey together and come to find out they or someone is preg, your alittle jealous but happy for them

 

[Bekah78]

Oh I know the feelings all too well. It took DH and I 10 years, and 4 IVF/Icsi attempts to get our BFP. The hurt when you see another FB post of someone who's moaning about how awful pregnancy is.... Just makes me want to scream. Never mind the posts on here when someone says 'BFP finally' and you go in to have a read thinking they may have had a long journey too, to find they took a whole 2 cycles to fall pregnant. Whoa that one month it didn't work must've been so hard :/
Anyway, we got there in the end, and I hope you ladies do too, and soon. Sending you lots of baby dust!! Xx

 

[KatO79]

Mrs. Atole I'm so sorry that TTCing has been such a long process. I can sympathise as I'm a fellow LTTTC'er TTC #1 (although am currently almost 7 weeks pregnant after IVF #2 after 2 years TTCing which also included 6 failed IUIs, FXed it sticks).

If your DH truely loves you, he'll stick by your side! I seriously doubt he'll leave you in that case.

Have you considered getting you and your DH tested or consider maybe assisted conception? I know not everyone can afford it, thought I'd just ask if any of it is a possibility for you.

As for seeing horrible people have kids easily, it's so true, sometimes it's the worst people that have the easiest time conceiving! Unfortunately I don't think there's any fairness when it comes to who has an easy time conceiving or not

Wow you must have some amazing insurance, or lots off money lol
I wish I could afford all that, I am believing and trusting in God he will bless me
I have taken Clomid but no luck yet, I had a mc @ 10 weeks 2014

I'm happy you finally got your BFP may God bless you with a healthy bby

Actually neither, in Denmark infertility is considered a disease so providing you're TTCing #1, your GP gives you a referral after trying naturally for 1 year and still no pregnancy. You do have to pay for meds but there's an upper limit and once that kicks in, the state helps you pay for those as well. But you only get 6 IUIs and 3 IVFs, if you still haven't conceived after that than you must pay for more tries yourself. I think the only reason the state helps people in this country is because they want more taxpayers and they feel the money they use to help people with assisted conception is peanuts compared to the taxes they will get back once the child is an adult and starts working. Of course if you're BTW TTC #2, there's no financial help and you have to pay for treatments yourself.

I'm so sorry about your mc, I truely hope you soon get your rainbow

Thank you so much

 

[KatO79]

Oh I know the feelings all too well. It took DH and I 10 years, and 4 IVF/Icsi attempts to get our BFP. The hurt when you see another FB post of someone who's moaning about how awful pregnancy is.... Just makes me want to scream. Never mind the posts on here when someone says 'BFP finally' and you go in to have a read thinking they may have had a long journey too, to find they took a whole 2 cycles to fall pregnant. Whoa that one month it didn't work must've been so hard :/
Anyway, we got there in the end, and I hope you ladies do too, and soon. Sending you lots of baby dust!! Xx

So true Bekah, I remember this one woman in the BFP announcement forum even titled her post something like "After 2 long months I got my bean" Maybe we're thinking of the same person? Anyway I'm tempted to tell those people off because it's just so insensitive I just hate people complaining about anything that took 1 year or less because it's actually within the norm. I remember also this one member that got pregnant that I was on some 2WW threads before I stopped going on those recently saying it took such a long time to conceive, a whole 7 months

 

[Mrs. Atole]

Oh I know the feelings all too well. It took DH and I 10 years, and 4 IVF/Icsi attempts to get our BFP. The hurt when you see another FB post of someone who's moaning about how awful pregnancy is.... Just makes me want to scream. Never mind the posts on here when someone says 'BFP finally' and you go in to have a read thinking they may have had a long journey too, to find they took a whole 2 cycles to fall pregnant. Whoa that one month it didn't work must've been so hard :/
Anyway, we got there in the end, and I hope you ladies do too, and soon. Sending you lots of baby dust!! Xx

LOL !!!! soo true. Thank you !!!!

 

[Mrs. Atole]

Mrs. Atole I'm so sorry that TTCing has been such a long process. I can sympathise as I'm a fellow LTTTC'er TTC #1 (although am currently almost 7 weeks pregnant after IVF #2 after 2 years TTCing which also included 6 failed IUIs, FXed it sticks).

If your DH truely loves you, he'll stick by your side! I seriously doubt he'll leave you in that case.

Have you considered getting you and your DH tested or consider maybe assisted conception? I know not everyone can afford it, thought I'd just ask if any of it is a possibility for you.

As for seeing horrible people have kids easily, it's so true, sometimes it's the worst people that have the easiest time conceiving! Unfortunately I don't think there's any fairness when it comes to who has an easy time conceiving or not

Wow you must have some amazing insurance, or lots off money lol
I wish I could afford all that, I am believing and trusting in God he will bless me
I have taken Clomid but no luck yet, I had a mc @ 10 weeks 2014

I'm happy you finally got your BFP may God bless you with a healthy bby

Actually neither, in Denmark infertility is considered a disease so providing you're TTCing #1, your GP gives you a referral after trying naturally for 1 year and still no pregnancy. You do have to pay for meds but there's an upper limit and once that kicks in, the state helps you pay for those as well. But you only get 6 IUIs and 3 IVFs, if you still haven't conceived after that than you must pay for more tries yourself. I think the only reason the state helps people in this country is because they want more taxpayers and they feel the money they use to help people with assisted conception is peanuts compared to the taxes they will get back once the child is an adult and starts working. Of course if you're BTW TTC #2, there's no financial help and you have to pay for treatments yourself.

I'm so sorry about your mc, I truely hope you soon get your rainbow

Thank you so much

Wow i love that!! here in US you have to prove you have a disease that is causing infertility like thyroid problem etc.. in order for insurance to help

Thank you for your kind words!!!

 

[Bekah78]

Oh I know the feelings all too well. It took DH and I 10 years, and 4 IVF/Icsi attempts to get our BFP. The hurt when you see another FB post of someone who's moaning about how awful pregnancy is.... Just makes me want to scream. Never mind the posts on here when someone says 'BFP finally' and you go in to have a read thinking they may have had a long journey too, to find they took a whole 2 cycles to fall pregnant. Whoa that one month it didn't work must've been so hard :/
Anyway, we got there in the end, and I hope you ladies do too, and soon. Sending you lots of baby dust!! Xx

So true Bekah, I remember this one woman in the BFP announcement forum even titled her post something like "After 2 long months I got my bean" Maybe we're thinking of the same person? Anyway I'm tempted to tell those people off because it's just so insensitive I just hate people complaining about anything that took 1 year or less because it's actually within the norm. I remember also this one member that got pregnant that I was on some 2WW threads before I stopped going on those recently saying it took such a long time to conceive, a whole 7 months

Yep, I think we both saw the same post. I bit my tongue though rather than cause an argument. i did go and have a rant about it on a private FB page with friends who've gone through IVF too, haha.

 

[KatO79]

Oh I know the feelings all too well. It took DH and I 10 years, and 4 IVF/Icsi attempts to get our BFP. The hurt when you see another FB post of someone who's moaning about how awful pregnancy is.... Just makes me want to scream. Never mind the posts on here when someone says 'BFP finally' and you go in to have a read thinking they may have had a long journey too, to find they took a whole 2 cycles to fall pregnant. Whoa that one month it didn't work must've been so hard :/
Anyway, we got there in the end, and I hope you ladies do too, and soon. Sending you lots of baby dust!! Xx

So true Bekah, I remember this one woman in the BFP announcement forum even titled her post something like "After 2 long months I got my bean" Maybe we're thinking of the same person? Anyway I'm tempted to tell those people off because it's just so insensitive I just hate people complaining about anything that took 1 year or less because it's actually within the norm. I remember also this one member that got pregnant that I was on some 2WW threads before I stopped going on those recently saying it took such a long time to conceive, a whole 7 months

Yep, I think we both saw the same post. I bit my tongue though rather than cause an argument. i did go and have a rant about it on a private FB page with friends who've gone through IVF too, haha.

That's why I didn't say anything either although I was tempted to PM her. I ranted about it with my DH instead, he also got riled up about it and was tempted to create an account and say something to her himself since I told him I didn't really want to start anything

 

[Mrs. Atole]

Oh I know the feelings all too well. It took DH and I 10 years, and 4 IVF/Icsi attempts to get our BFP. The hurt when you see another FB post of someone who's moaning about how awful pregnancy is.... Just makes me want to scream. Never mind the posts on here when someone says 'BFP finally' and you go in to have a read thinking they may have had a long journey too, to find they took a whole 2 cycles to fall pregnant. Whoa that one month it didn't work must've been so hard :/
Anyway, we got there in the end, and I hope you ladies do too, and soon. Sending you lots of baby dust!! Xx

So true Bekah, I remember this one woman in the BFP announcement forum even titled her post something like "After 2 long months I got my bean" Maybe we're thinking of the same person? Anyway I'm tempted to tell those people off because it's just so insensitive I just hate people complaining about anything that took 1 year or less because it's actually within the norm. I remember also this one member that got pregnant that I was on some 2WW threads before I stopped going on those recently saying it took such a long time to conceive, a whole 7 months

Yep, I think we both saw the same post. I bit my tongue though rather than cause an argument. i did go and have a rant about it on a private FB page with friends who've gone through IVF too, haha.

That's why I didn't say anything either although I was tempted to PM her. I ranted about it with my DH instead, he also got riled up about it and was tempted to create an account and say something to her himself since I told him I didn't really want to start anything

LOL
Sometimes i do want to tell these chicks off but i just dont want to be kicked out of website ...
these chicks are so insensitive, this girl came on ranting about how she was ttc #2 how hard it was because bby #1 was so easy ???????

I was super mad like dude your in the wrong form, and boohoo how sad it's taking you so long for bby #2 when i've been trying 3 years for bby #1.

 

[KatO79]

Oh I know the feelings all too well. It took DH and I 10 years, and 4 IVF/Icsi attempts to get our BFP. The hurt when you see another FB post of someone who's moaning about how awful pregnancy is.... Just makes me want to scream. Never mind the posts on here when someone says 'BFP finally' and you go in to have a read thinking they may have had a long journey too, to find they took a whole 2 cycles to fall pregnant. Whoa that one month it didn't work must've been so hard :/
Anyway, we got there in the end, and I hope you ladies do too, and soon. Sending you lots of baby dust!! Xx

So true Bekah, I remember this one woman in the BFP announcement forum even titled her post something like "After 2 long months I got my bean" Maybe we're thinking of the same person? Anyway I'm tempted to tell those people off because it's just so insensitive I just hate people complaining about anything that took 1 year or less because it's actually within the norm. I remember also this one member that got pregnant that I was on some 2WW threads before I stopped going on those recently saying it took such a long time to conceive, a whole 7 months

Yep, I think we both saw the same post. I bit my tongue though rather than cause an argument. i did go and have a rant about it on a private FB page with friends who've gone through IVF too, haha.

That's why I didn't say anything either although I was tempted to PM her. I ranted about it with my DH instead, he also got riled up about it and was tempted to create an account and say something to her himself since I told him I didn't really want to start anything

LOL
Sometimes i do want to tell these chicks off but i just dont want to be kicked out of website ...
these chicks are so insensitive, this girl came on ranting about how she was ttc #2 how hard it was because bby #1 was so easy ???????

I was super mad like dude your in the wrong form, and boohoo how sad it's taking you so long for bby #2 when i've been trying 3 years for bby #1.

I have to admit that was also a fear, that I'd risk being kicked off. Plus someone telling me we need to respect her feelings and then getting into an altercation. I remember this one chick that wanted to joing the LTTTC board after having tried for 5 months I think I super politely told her that LTTTC is when you've been trying for over 1 year but then another member went after me and was all like "Well if she feels that those 5 months have felt like longer than we need to respect her feelings and be welcoming" Never mind the other women that actually are LTTTCer and their feelings about it, they don't count I guess

As to people ranting about it's so hard for them with baby #2, don't get me started I got into a slight altercation with this one woman that felt she was feeling as sad and frustrated as I was even though she was LTTTC #2 and I was LTTTC #1. I just decided it wasn't going to end well and just stopped responding and ended the conversation. To make matters worse she got her BFP that month and I had my CP I don't doubt that it's upsetting for them that baby #2 is proving more challenging, I just hate it when they say that it's just as hard for them emotionally as it is for us LTTTC #1.

 

[Mrs. Atole]

Oh I know the feelings all too well. It took DH and I 10 years, and 4 IVF/Icsi attempts to get our BFP. The hurt when you see another FB post of someone who's moaning about how awful pregnancy is.... Just makes me want to scream. Never mind the posts on here when someone says 'BFP finally' and you go in to have a read thinking they may have had a long journey too, to find they took a whole 2 cycles to fall pregnant. Whoa that one month it didn't work must've been so hard :/
Anyway, we got there in the end, and I hope you ladies do too, and soon. Sending you lots of baby dust!! Xx

So true Bekah, I remember this one woman in the BFP announcement forum even titled her post something like "After 2 long months I got my bean" Maybe we're thinking of the same person? Anyway I'm tempted to tell those people off because it's just so insensitive I just hate people complaining about anything that took 1 year or less because it's actually within the norm. I remember also this one member that got pregnant that I was on some 2WW threads before I stopped going on those recently saying it took such a long time to conceive, a whole 7 months

Yep, I think we both saw the same post. I bit my tongue though rather than cause an argument. i did go and have a rant about it on a private FB page with friends who've gone through IVF too, haha.

That's why I didn't say anything either although I was tempted to PM her. I ranted about it with my DH instead, he also got riled up about it and was tempted to create an account and say something to her himself since I told him I didn't really want to start anything

LOL
Sometimes i do want to tell these chicks off but i just dont want to be kicked out of website ...
these chicks are so insensitive, this girl came on ranting about how she was ttc #2 how hard it was because bby #1 was so easy ???????

I was super mad like dude your in the wrong form, and boohoo how sad it's taking you so long for bby #2 when i've been trying 3 years for bby #1.

I have to admit that was also a fear, that I'd risk being kicked off. Plus someone telling me we need to respect her feelings and then getting into an altercation. I remember this one chick that wanted to joing the LTTTC board after having tried for 5 months I think I super politely told her that LTTTC is when you've been trying for over 1 year but then another member went after me and was all like "Well if she feels that those 5 months have felt like longer than we need to respect her feelings and be welcoming" Never mind the other women that actually are LTTTCer and their feelings about it, they don't count I guess

As to people ranting about it's so hard for them with baby #2, don't get me started I got into a slight altercation with this one woman that felt she was feeling as sad and frustrated as I was even though she was LTTTC #2 and I was LTTTC #1. I just decided it wasn't going to end well and just stopped responding and ended the conversation. To make matters worse she got her BFP that month and I had my CP I don't doubt that it's upsetting for them that baby #2 is proving more challenging, I just hate it when they say that it's just as hard for them emotionally as it is for us LTTTC #1.

Umm i'm sorry but thats just bologna, everyone who is ttc know's after 6-12 months of actively trying is standard, after that would be LTTTC.
and in my opinion NO they would not know how we feel we are waiting for baby #1 they have already witnessed that miracle so they DO NOT FEEL THE SAME as we do, frustrated, yes i'll give it to them but no on the same level as us.

 

[KatO79]

Oh I know the feelings all too well. It took DH and I 10 years, and 4 IVF/Icsi attempts to get our BFP. The hurt when you see another FB post of someone who's moaning about how awful pregnancy is.... Just makes me want to scream. Never mind the posts on here when someone says 'BFP finally' and you go in to have a read thinking they may have had a long journey too, to find they took a whole 2 cycles to fall pregnant. Whoa that one month it didn't work must've been so hard :/
Anyway, we got there in the end, and I hope you ladies do too, and soon. Sending you lots of baby dust!! Xx

So true Bekah, I remember this one woman in the BFP announcement forum even titled her post something like "After 2 long months I got my bean" Maybe we're thinking of the same person? Anyway I'm tempted to tell those people off because it's just so insensitive I just hate people complaining about anything that took 1 year or less because it's actually within the norm. I remember also this one member that got pregnant that I was on some 2WW threads before I stopped going on those recently saying it took such a long time to conceive, a whole 7 months

Yep, I think we both saw the same post. I bit my tongue though rather than cause an argument. i did go and have a rant about it on a private FB page with friends who've gone through IVF too, haha.

That's why I didn't say anything either although I was tempted to PM her. I ranted about it with my DH instead, he also got riled up about it and was tempted to create an account and say something to her himself since I told him I didn't really want to start anything

LOL
Sometimes i do want to tell these chicks off but i just dont want to be kicked out of website ...
these chicks are so insensitive, this girl came on ranting about how she was ttc #2 how hard it was because bby #1 was so easy ???????

I was super mad like dude your in the wrong form, and boohoo how sad it's taking you so long for bby #2 when i've been trying 3 years for bby #1.

I have to admit that was also a fear, that I'd risk being kicked off. Plus someone telling me we need to respect her feelings and then getting into an altercation. I remember this one chick that wanted to joing the LTTTC board after having tried for 5 months I think I super politely told her that LTTTC is when you've been trying for over 1 year but then another member went after me and was all like "Well if she feels that those 5 months have felt like longer than we need to respect her feelings and be welcoming" Never mind the other women that actually are LTTTCer and their feelings about it, they don't count I guess

As to people ranting about it's so hard for them with baby #2, don't get me started I got into a slight altercation with this one woman that felt she was feeling as sad and frustrated as I was even though she was LTTTC #2 and I was LTTTC #1. I just decided it wasn't going to end well and just stopped responding and ended the conversation. To make matters worse she got her BFP that month and I had my CP I don't doubt that it's upsetting for them that baby #2 is proving more challenging, I just hate it when they say that it's just as hard for them emotionally as it is for us LTTTC #1.

Umm i'm sorry but thats just bologna, everyone who is ttc know's after 6-12 months of actively trying is standard, after that would be LTTTC.
and in my opinion NO they would not know how we feel we are waiting for baby #1 they have already witnessed that miracle so they DO NOT FEEL THE SAME as we do, frustrated, yes i'll give it to them but no on the same level as us.

They should although I do think some people think LTTTC is as early as 5-6 months because perhaps their experience has been all their friends got pregnant within the first 3-4 months so they think that's the norm and anything longer is LTTTC. I know that was the case with the woman that had been trying for 5 months and wanted to join the LTTTC forum, I think all her friends conceived rather quickly.

Yes so true. There are many that are LTTTC #2 that are understanding and agree with us (I would venture most of them are like this) but it's almost impossible not to run into those that feel their quest for #2 is just as upsetting as our quest for #1 because they feel e.g. stressed about maybe not being able to give their child a sibling or the age difference becoming bigger than intended.

 

[Mrs. Atole]

Oh I know the feelings all too well. It took DH and I 10 years, and 4 IVF/Icsi attempts to get our BFP. The hurt when you see another FB post of someone who's moaning about how awful pregnancy is.... Just makes me want to scream. Never mind the posts on here when someone says 'BFP finally' and you go in to have a read thinking they may have had a long journey too, to find they took a whole 2 cycles to fall pregnant. Whoa that one month it didn't work must've been so hard :/
Anyway, we got there in the end, and I hope you ladies do too, and soon. Sending you lots of baby dust!! Xx

So true Bekah, I remember this one woman in the BFP announcement forum even titled her post something like "After 2 long months I got my bean" Maybe we're thinking of the same person? Anyway I'm tempted to tell those people off because it's just so insensitive I just hate people complaining about anything that took 1 year or less because it's actually within the norm. I remember also this one member that got pregnant that I was on some 2WW threads before I stopped going on those recently saying it took such a long time to conceive, a whole 7 months

Yep, I think we both saw the same post. I bit my tongue though rather than cause an argument. i did go and have a rant about it on a private FB page with friends who've gone through IVF too, haha.

That's why I didn't say anything either although I was tempted to PM her. I ranted about it with my DH instead, he also got riled up about it and was tempted to create an account and say something to her himself since I told him I didn't really want to start anything

LOL
Sometimes i do want to tell these chicks off but i just dont want to be kicked out of website ...
these chicks are so insensitive, this girl came on ranting about how she was ttc #2 how hard it was because bby #1 was so easy ???????

I was super mad like dude your in the wrong form, and boohoo how sad it's taking you so long for bby #2 when i've been trying 3 years for bby #1.

I have to admit that was also a fear, that I'd risk being kicked off. Plus someone telling me we need to respect her feelings and then getting into an altercation. I remember this one chick that wanted to joing the LTTTC board after having tried for 5 months I think I super politely told her that LTTTC is when you've been trying for over 1 year but then another member went after me and was all like "Well if she feels that those 5 months have felt like longer than we need to respect her feelings and be welcoming" Never mind the other women that actually are LTTTCer and their feelings about it, they don't count I guess

As to people ranting about it's so hard for them with baby #2, don't get me started I got into a slight altercation with this one woman that felt she was feeling as sad and frustrated as I was even though she was LTTTC #2 and I was LTTTC #1. I just decided it wasn't going to end well and just stopped responding and ended the conversation. To make matters worse she got her BFP that month and I had my CP I don't doubt that it's upsetting for them that baby #2 is proving more challenging, I just hate it when they say that it's just as hard for them emotionally as it is for us LTTTC #1.

Umm i'm sorry but thats just bologna, everyone who is ttc know's after 6-12 months of actively trying is standard, after that would be LTTTC.
and in my opinion NO they would not know how we feel we are waiting for baby #1 they have already witnessed that miracle so they DO NOT FEEL THE SAME as we do, frustrated, yes i'll give it to them but no on the same level as us.

They should although I do think some people think LTTTC is as early as 5-6 months because perhaps their experience has been all their friends got pregnant within the first 3-4 months so they think that's the norm and anything longer is LTTTC. I know that was the case with the woman that had been trying for 5 months and wanted to join the LTTTC forum, I think all her friends conceived rather quickly.

Yes so true. There are many that are LTTTC #2 that are understanding and agree with us (I would venture most of them are like this) but it's almost impossible not to run into those that feel their quest for #2 is just as upsetting as our quest for #1 because they feel e.g. stressed about maybe not being able to give their child a sibling or the age difference becoming bigger than intended.

True but there still no comparison.....

 

[KatO79]

True but there still no comparison.....

Nope, just saying that that's what they seem to be nervous, frustrated and upset about. But yeah, to be fair most of them are pretty understanding and get it. But the ones that don't it doesn't seem to be worth discussing it with them, they refuse to totally get it.

 

[BabyNina16]

Why is it that my mother sends me loads of baby pics only when she knows we are TTC? It hurts, it really hurts, on top of that she tells me "oh you need to see so and so's baby, omg I'm so thrilled about the neighbors baby, oh wait until you see this girls baby, thats her 5th one."

 

[Mrs. Atole]

Why is it that my mother sends me loads of baby pics only when she knows we are TTC? It hurts, it really hurts, on top of that she tells me "oh you need to see so and so's baby, omg I'm so thrilled about the neighbors baby, oh wait until you see this girls baby, thats her 5th one."

Wow that's messed up , i'm sorry ...
Have you talked to her about you struggle with ttc? i know i dont talk about it much with fam/friends when they ask aww when are you and hubby gonna start having kids? i say well when it happens it happens when i'm really dying inside from their stupid questions ( can;t blame them if they dont know)

However my mom does know and is always saying well you should get ivf like me i'm like dude it's 10,000 dollars and i dont have a money tree in my backyard lol people piss me off, i wish i lived in UK ivf is free