Venting

[Angeld]

I'm happy to have found this thread. It's nice to see that I'm not the only one who has a lot of people in their life who are coming off as jerks and insensitive.

I've been ttc since august of 2011. Absolutely no luck.

My sil and bil got preggers and had their baby who is now 16 months old...seeing them go through everything my dh and I want has been challenging-not to mention having them be rude about things too. They wouldn't allow us to see the baby unless we proved we had our flu shots and were dtap vaccinated...well I personally don't believe in the flu shot, but I did it anyway. And dh is deathly allergic to the dtap-doctor said it wasn't worth us trying to get it-so he mentioned for us to get the TD instead, which my husband had a severe allergic reaction too also. But we met the demands because we were excited about the baby...then she said my dh still couldn't. At that point we stopped talking for about 6 months. It hurt my dh sooo bad, and in reality the whole family was torn during that time.

My dh and I have been really quite about our infertility because we really don't want it blabbed around. Because all his family does is talk. So we both decided to keep quiet about it all our family and friends.

Since everything with bil/sil had happened... my dh parents then decided that they would hone in on us. Comments started out: we are not getting any younger, we would like to see a grandchild from you guys. We want a girl, when are you going to give us a girl? Then it moved to even more pressure: your getting older and they say it's harmful to have kids when you get older. Your dh would make a great father-why haven't you made him one yet? These comments were getting worse and worse.

We just kep saying we are not ready yet, and then we said we might adopt, that brought in even more hurtful comments such as : you will never love someone else kids as much as your own. Why would you want to raise someone else kids? We have good genes in our families, why would you waste that?

It just sucks because both my dh and I want to just slap everyone...it's made me antisocial around not only family but my friends too...btw officially every single on our couple friends has a kid or is preggers.

Thanks for letting me vent.

 

[ces2008]

So sorry for everything you've been going through. Im Carrie. Im 27, DH 28. Been married almost 6 years, together just over 12. Been TTC since June 2011. Everyone Im close to, family, friends, coworkers, know we've been TTC. I suffer from bad Depression and Anxiety, so its best for me to be, essentially, an "open book." Like you, everyone around me is either pregnant, or recently had a baby. My sister had her 4th, another "sister" her 2nd and a SIL had her 1st at 14, all during this time. Around whenever you need or want to talk. Add me as a friend, PM me!

 

[Mississippi03]

You arent the only one. My sil got pregnant by accident and me and dh had been ttc. Now its all i hear about, they think its easy because it happened by mistake. Still hasnt happened for us. I avoid seeing them sometimes just because i dont want to listen to it

 

[amariee]

Don't let them get to you at all! They don't understand and sadly, never will. Unless they have dealt with infertility their self, understanding it is a lost cause. Your time will come and it will be well worth it. So what if you're a little bit older than what they expected or did their selves. What have you tried so far to help try to conceive?

 

[Destiny08]

Sorry you're having a rough time we'll have been trying for a year on Thursday, so nothing compared to what you're going through. But in that time both my now ex best friend and my Sil both got pregnant AND had their babies, so that sucks.

also adoption : ignore them. From experience I can say you probably wont ever love someone elses child like you would your own. But. Can you imagine how amazing that would be? To take a child so desperate for a family and someone to love them, who for whatever reason have never had that and give them a homr and raise them to be incredible people? It is my dream to adopt once my kids are older, because well...it would be such a good thing. DH was neglected and put into care and eventually adopted by my in laws and im constantly amazed by how that adoption changed the course of his life (he has biological siblings who have amounted to very little)

So yes. Ignore them. No matter which way your life goes, either you have your own beautiful children, or you choose to completely change the life of an unloved child. Dont let them get you down

 

[kits]

Awwww... AngelD, I just want to give you loads of

Hang in there & keep your chin up hun - you're better than that.

I can't believe they didn't let your hubby see the baby! That is some negative karma, you just try to stay happy & focus on all the lovin' you get to make whilst trying.

I know it's not easy. Whenever anyone actually wants to have a baby all of a sudden it seems that we're just surrounded by those who seem to get with every sneeze!

At least we know we'll give our little miracles that much more loving (without any disrespect to all the brilliant mommies out there!) because we had to work that much harder to have them.

Remember, try to keep positive.

 

[Angeld]

Thanks for the encouraging words...

I'm only 27, dh is 28. It seems silly that we were getting the your getting older talk!!

We have been on progesterone and metformin. Doctor put me on provera and I had an allergic reaction. Seeing the doctor tomorrow to see what's next. He gave me Clomid, but since I didn't have a period with the provera, I hope he has a good next step.

 

[Curligurl]

Thanks for the encouraging words...

I'm only 27, dh is 28. It seems silly that we were getting the your getting older talk!!

We have been on progesterone and metformin. Doctor put me on provera and I had an allergic reaction. Seeing the doctor tomorrow to see what's next. He gave me Clomid, but since I didn't have a period with the provera, I hope he has a good next step.

Maybe if you tell them you have been TTC they would go a little easier on you. I can't imagine they would say those things if they knew you were struggling a little bit. But if you do tell them be prepared for a lot of unwanted babymaking advice! I didn't tell my family about us TTC until after the 2nd miscarriage...only because my doctor wanted a detailed family history so I had to call all my aunts on both sides and ask them about their periods/pregnacies etc...anyway I got support from my family but I also got a lot of other comments .... My sister offered to be a surrogate for us...I was kind of offended but I knew she was just trying to be nice....
Sorry for rambling
Hope you are able to take clomid soon. I heard great things about it!