Very confussed

[Lexx]

Hi,

I have been lurking here for ages and only just got my thought organised enough to post. The situation is I am 23, single gay lass, curently studying an ACCESS course so I can go to uni next year well that was the plann; but recently all I can think about is getting pregnant and having a baby. I am not nieve and I know it would be very hard as a single mother but its like my body is screaming at me that now is the time. So do I give into it and defer uni or go to uni and wait 3 years. Could I have some honest answers please or at least some opinions. Thanks xx

 

[lozzy21]

Hi and welcome.

I would wait, finish uni and then see about babys after then. Having a child while at uni is hard enough when there is some one there to help. Not that its impossible with a child. You never know you may meet some one while at uni.

Good luck in what ever you decide.

 

[plutosblue]

I personally would say wait until you have finished uni, simply because from the sounds of it you have been working towards going to uni and it would be a shame to waste the opportunity to stop and have children, you will have plenty of time to have children in the future.

On the flip side of things I would say if you were absolutly desperate to have children and you were in a stable relationship and financially could do it then you could always go for an open university course?

Go with your gut hunni!

Hope this helps x

Edit:: Sorry just realised you said you were single, in that case I would go to uni, you never know you might meet someone there x

 

[plutosblue]

Whoops double post!?

 

[Webbykinskt]

Hi and welcome.

I would wait, finish uni and then see about babys after then. Having a child while at uni is hard enough when there is some one there to help. Not that its impossible with a child. You never know you may meet some one while at uni.

Good luck in what ever you decide.

I agree but it is entirely your decision so good luck with it!

And welcome to BnB x

 

[angie79]

and welcome

i think we all want a baby as soon as because that is why we are here but i really believe your lifestyle should be ready for it - at least if you go to uni and get yourself a qualification then it will be easier for you in the long run as when you have a baby and you return to work you know you will be earning enough money to support yourself and baby.
I would love to have a baby RIGHT now but i know i need to be in the best position to give my family the best start and future

good luck with what ever you choose

xx

 

[shocker]

Completely up to you, i'd say give yourself 6 months and if you still dont feel you can wait then go for it.You can do an evening course or online course if you want.Obviously going to uni is the done thing, but you do whatever you think is best! Single parents can be every bit as good as couples.You could also go to uni while preparing yourself, like making a list of everything you'll need before your begin ttc so your working towards your goal be it quitting smoking/losing weight/getting a job you like.It can also take quite a while to get through all the red tape in regards to sperm donation/ivf/etc so you could begin looking into it now while still going to uni and by the time it came around you'd probablly be nearing the end of your course, good luck and welcome to bnb

 

[goddess25]

Its totally up to you but being a single mum is going to be tough. If you defer uni and have a baby then you may never get there as having a baby is hard. I am in a stable relationship and have been married forever but struggling with childcare etc. I would maybe wait until afterwards but i also know its hard to resist the urge for a child. I hope you work it out, I am sure you will make the right decision.

 

[lovehearts]

I would defo say go to uni although it is your decision. i want a baby now but i know that it is def best for me to wait untill me and OH have had our perfect holiday and a bit of time to put some money away x

 

[fuffyburra]

Completely up to you, i'd say give yourself 6 months and if you still dont feel you can wait then go for it.You can do an evening course or online course if you want.Obviously going to uni is the done thing, but you do whatever you think is best! Single parents can be every bit as good as couples.You could also go to uni while preparing yourself, like making a list of everything you'll need before your begin ttc so your working towards your goal be it quitting smoking/losing weight/getting a job you like.It can also take quite a while to get through all the red tape in regards to sperm donation/ivf/etc so you could begin looking into it now while still going to uni and by the time it came around you'd probablly be nearing the end of your course, good luck and welcome to bnb

Totally agree. Getting ready takes longer than you think. We start TTC in 18 months and there's loads to do
And as Shocker said, with all the IVF/donation stuff it's going to be a bit higgledy piggledy lol this way you can have your cake and eat it too, as it were
Good luck! xx

 

[Lexx]

Thanks for everyones great advice, I know I have to wait till after uni because if I did it now I would be constantly skint and would get very frustrated I think. It just so hard to wait, but Shocker is right I can work on saving losing wait etc!

 

[fuffyburra]

Glad you're all sorted and you've got some goals, they really come in handy! lol And until then, you're very welcome to stay here and moan with us

 

[shocker]

Glad to hear it Its sooooo hard waiting but when you work towards it you at least know your getting there and it makes it easier knowing your working towards your goal, good luck and look forward to having you on bnb!!

 

[amylk87]

I'm in my last year at uni doing social work, and it has flown by - so i can now think about babies abit more as i'm close to the end now. x