K
kirsten1985
Guest
It has been nearly 10 weeks since I had my baby, and this is the first time I have actually wanted to write this down. Things didnt happen as I had hoped they would and I am still feeling the effects from it now.
I had planned on having as natural a birth as possible, at a nearby Birth Centre, using the pool and at the most, gas and air. I definitely did not want an epidural, pethidine or anything that might affect the baby.
My baby was due 26th May. My waters broke 1am Friday 8th May, but only a little bit, just running down my leg as I got out of bed. I knew it was definitely this as it had no smell, felt just like water and I didnt need the loo or anything. I got back into bed and the contractions started, about 20 mins apart and not too bad at first. Didnt wake my hubby Jake, as I thought they might go away!
By 7 am Saturday morning the contractions were coming about every 10 mins and were getting worse. I decided to wait a bit then ring the Birth Centre as I knew that if your waters had gone they liked to check all was ok. I wanted to stay at home as long as possible and I didnt really want to go there and be sent home again. So I spent the morning on my birth ball and getting lots of nice back rubs from Jake. At about 1pm we rang them, the contractions were still about every 10 mins and were getting really really painful now. We went in, they checked me and said I was still less than 1cm dilated! Argh! Couldnt believe it, it was so painful I thought I would be more. They also said that as far as they could see my waters hadnt broken, she said I must have wet myself! I knew they had, so this upset me a bit.
They checked the baby, said she was in a good position, and said to go home and come back when ready. I was so disappointed, but off we went home again. Got home at 3pm, my mum came over to help as we knew it would all be happening soon. We sat around, me bouncing and bathing and doing god knows what to help the pain. At 10pm Saturday night it had become completely unbearable and contractions had been coming every 3 minutes for quite a few hours so off we went back to the birth centre. We got there, got examined and she said I was 1cm. They didnt seem at all concerned that this had been going on for so long (nearly 24 hours after waters had broken) and said I should go home and have a bath (what??!!!). So anyway, off we went again, I jumped back in the bath, only to spend the next hour or so in and out and all over the bathroom, the contractions were nearly all in my back, and had been the whole time. I had told the midwives this, and they didnt seem bothered.
So, 1am Sunday morning, totally fed up with the birth centre I rang the hospital and asked if I could come in, and if they would give me anything for the pain. They said they wouldnt until I was 3cm dilated and I should stay at home a bit longer. 3am we had had enough so just went to the hospital, the car journey was horrendous, only 20 mins but felt like forever. When we got there they made me feel guilty for not ringing them just before we arrived (like we cared, at that point) and told me I had to try having another bath before they would do anything. They examined me and said I was 2cm. Had a bath, it did nothing. At 5am Sunday morning, they said Jake and my mum had to go home and put me in a room and said the doctor would be in to see me at 9am. Four hours away! They made me feel like the contractions probably werent that bad and that I should be coping better. After watching me pace round my bed retching with the pain they gave me some Temazepam and told me to go to sleep for a bit. As if! I carried on pacing til 9 am. Those four hours were the worst of the whole weekend, I have never felt so alone and scared.
9 am Sunday morning, the doctor came and put a monitor on me. 20 mins later she came back and said that my contractions were off the scale and they put me straight into a labour room and gave me some pethidine, which really helped. I didnt want to have anything, but knew I wanted to give birth to my baby and wouldnt be able to if I didnt get some rest, as I hadnt slept since Thursday night. The doctor examined me, said I was 3cm dilated, the baby was facing the wrong way (which was why it was taking so long) and my waters HAD broken, all that time ago! My mum and Jake came back at 11am and sat with me while I drifted in and out of consciousness for most of that day. By this point , Id had pethidine, diamorphine, temazepam and codeine. Not quite what I had in mind!
Later on, they offered me an epidural, as if I was to have an emergency cesarean it would be good to have one in. I didnt care what they did now, so they put one in, and a catheter and all sorts, I cant even remember this bit very well. At about 9pm I was ready to push but they said I couldnt yet so I puffed and panted my way through the next hour. 10pm I started pushing, but was completely exhausted. They had to use a ventouse to help the baby out and Freya Rose was born at 11.32pm Sunday 10th May weighing 6lb 6oz. She had an Apgar score of 9, followed by 10, which they said was amazing considering what I, and therefore she had been through. Happily, I thought it was all over and I was breastfeeding my baby when they told me that the placenta was very stuck and I was to go straight to theatre.
They tried to manually remove the placenta but it wouldnt budge, so after losing a lot of blood and becoming a mangled mess down below they left it where it was and I had a procedure to remove it six weeks later!! This caused more problems than I thought possible, I was determined to breastfeed, I always have been, so after Freya lost 10% of her birthweight in the following days and my milk still hadnt come in after 7 days, we resorted to cup feeding her formula in the hope that some milk would appear.
After cup feeding her for a week, we were informed that I probably wouldnt get any milk as the placenta was still attached. I was devastated and we switched to bottles. I continued to put her to the breast at every feed but she has gradually become less interested in this. I am still putting her to the breast now, as my milk arrived few weeks ago but she will not latch on despite numerous nipple shields, pumps and whatnot. She is 10 weeks now and the ounce of milk I pump out every day probably upsets me more than anything as it is just a reminder that it hasnt worked. I am going to give it a few more weeks if I can.
They said the reason she was facing the wrong way and the reason for my retained placenta was because during the manual removal they found out I have a bicornuate uterus. I have since discovered that this means I am lucky to have Freya at all, as this type of uterus can cause miscarriage and premature birth among other things. I try to think of how lucky we are instead of how badly the birth did and still is affecting me and how upset I am about not breastfeeding. The midwives at the birth centre have apologized about how they treated me (after one of the doctors at the hospital found out about me being sent home all weekend)and they have changed some of their policies because of this.
I have just realized how long and boring this is, I dont expect anyone to read it but I think it will make me feel better having typed it out.
I had planned on having as natural a birth as possible, at a nearby Birth Centre, using the pool and at the most, gas and air. I definitely did not want an epidural, pethidine or anything that might affect the baby.
My baby was due 26th May. My waters broke 1am Friday 8th May, but only a little bit, just running down my leg as I got out of bed. I knew it was definitely this as it had no smell, felt just like water and I didnt need the loo or anything. I got back into bed and the contractions started, about 20 mins apart and not too bad at first. Didnt wake my hubby Jake, as I thought they might go away!
By 7 am Saturday morning the contractions were coming about every 10 mins and were getting worse. I decided to wait a bit then ring the Birth Centre as I knew that if your waters had gone they liked to check all was ok. I wanted to stay at home as long as possible and I didnt really want to go there and be sent home again. So I spent the morning on my birth ball and getting lots of nice back rubs from Jake. At about 1pm we rang them, the contractions were still about every 10 mins and were getting really really painful now. We went in, they checked me and said I was still less than 1cm dilated! Argh! Couldnt believe it, it was so painful I thought I would be more. They also said that as far as they could see my waters hadnt broken, she said I must have wet myself! I knew they had, so this upset me a bit.
They checked the baby, said she was in a good position, and said to go home and come back when ready. I was so disappointed, but off we went home again. Got home at 3pm, my mum came over to help as we knew it would all be happening soon. We sat around, me bouncing and bathing and doing god knows what to help the pain. At 10pm Saturday night it had become completely unbearable and contractions had been coming every 3 minutes for quite a few hours so off we went back to the birth centre. We got there, got examined and she said I was 1cm. They didnt seem at all concerned that this had been going on for so long (nearly 24 hours after waters had broken) and said I should go home and have a bath (what??!!!). So anyway, off we went again, I jumped back in the bath, only to spend the next hour or so in and out and all over the bathroom, the contractions were nearly all in my back, and had been the whole time. I had told the midwives this, and they didnt seem bothered.
So, 1am Sunday morning, totally fed up with the birth centre I rang the hospital and asked if I could come in, and if they would give me anything for the pain. They said they wouldnt until I was 3cm dilated and I should stay at home a bit longer. 3am we had had enough so just went to the hospital, the car journey was horrendous, only 20 mins but felt like forever. When we got there they made me feel guilty for not ringing them just before we arrived (like we cared, at that point) and told me I had to try having another bath before they would do anything. They examined me and said I was 2cm. Had a bath, it did nothing. At 5am Sunday morning, they said Jake and my mum had to go home and put me in a room and said the doctor would be in to see me at 9am. Four hours away! They made me feel like the contractions probably werent that bad and that I should be coping better. After watching me pace round my bed retching with the pain they gave me some Temazepam and told me to go to sleep for a bit. As if! I carried on pacing til 9 am. Those four hours were the worst of the whole weekend, I have never felt so alone and scared.
9 am Sunday morning, the doctor came and put a monitor on me. 20 mins later she came back and said that my contractions were off the scale and they put me straight into a labour room and gave me some pethidine, which really helped. I didnt want to have anything, but knew I wanted to give birth to my baby and wouldnt be able to if I didnt get some rest, as I hadnt slept since Thursday night. The doctor examined me, said I was 3cm dilated, the baby was facing the wrong way (which was why it was taking so long) and my waters HAD broken, all that time ago! My mum and Jake came back at 11am and sat with me while I drifted in and out of consciousness for most of that day. By this point , Id had pethidine, diamorphine, temazepam and codeine. Not quite what I had in mind!
Later on, they offered me an epidural, as if I was to have an emergency cesarean it would be good to have one in. I didnt care what they did now, so they put one in, and a catheter and all sorts, I cant even remember this bit very well. At about 9pm I was ready to push but they said I couldnt yet so I puffed and panted my way through the next hour. 10pm I started pushing, but was completely exhausted. They had to use a ventouse to help the baby out and Freya Rose was born at 11.32pm Sunday 10th May weighing 6lb 6oz. She had an Apgar score of 9, followed by 10, which they said was amazing considering what I, and therefore she had been through. Happily, I thought it was all over and I was breastfeeding my baby when they told me that the placenta was very stuck and I was to go straight to theatre.
They tried to manually remove the placenta but it wouldnt budge, so after losing a lot of blood and becoming a mangled mess down below they left it where it was and I had a procedure to remove it six weeks later!! This caused more problems than I thought possible, I was determined to breastfeed, I always have been, so after Freya lost 10% of her birthweight in the following days and my milk still hadnt come in after 7 days, we resorted to cup feeding her formula in the hope that some milk would appear.
After cup feeding her for a week, we were informed that I probably wouldnt get any milk as the placenta was still attached. I was devastated and we switched to bottles. I continued to put her to the breast at every feed but she has gradually become less interested in this. I am still putting her to the breast now, as my milk arrived few weeks ago but she will not latch on despite numerous nipple shields, pumps and whatnot. She is 10 weeks now and the ounce of milk I pump out every day probably upsets me more than anything as it is just a reminder that it hasnt worked. I am going to give it a few more weeks if I can.
They said the reason she was facing the wrong way and the reason for my retained placenta was because during the manual removal they found out I have a bicornuate uterus. I have since discovered that this means I am lucky to have Freya at all, as this type of uterus can cause miscarriage and premature birth among other things. I try to think of how lucky we are instead of how badly the birth did and still is affecting me and how upset I am about not breastfeeding. The midwives at the birth centre have apologized about how they treated me (after one of the doctors at the hospital found out about me being sent home all weekend)and they have changed some of their policies because of this.
I have just realized how long and boring this is, I dont expect anyone to read it but I think it will make me feel better having typed it out.
but congratulations on freya, hopefully you can now relax and enjoy her 
