Waiting for AF after MC, cycle day... unknown!

[Kota]

Hey ladies. thought I'd start a new thread as I have seen there is a couple of people in the same boat as me, and has had an early mc recently.
Thought it might be good to have a thread we can all whinge about not knowing where we are cycle wise while we wait for af to show her ugly mug again and (for those that are ready and wanting) get back to TTC again!

personally I'm just not trying, not preventing this month, I've stopped temping, charting and checking cm, and I haven't figured out the best days for OH and I to get down and dirty. we're just going to kick back, relax and let nature take it's course. If I end up with another bfp before af arrives then that's what is supposed to happen!

 

[CHILLbilly]

Hugs hun.......
A nice cycle of relaxation and enjoying each other is the best way to treat each other after such a tragedy!
p.s. you may be extra fertile right after mc'ing......so "enjoy" each other all you want!!!!!

 

[Rebaby]

Hello. I suppose i'll be joining you...just not sure when!

My cycles can be pretty irregular at the best of times so not looking forward to finding out how my mc will effect them.

 

[Kota]

Sorry for your loss. x

You can join whenever you want! Waiting for cycles to return to normal is going to be annoying so not knowing when I'm due to ovulate is frustrating!

 

[Rebaby]

When i saw my gp today she suggested i might want to take a break before ttc again (although we weren't actively ttc in the 1st place, just not preventing!) following the miscarriage but that she understands lots of couples want to get back to it almost straight away as soon as the bleeding has stopped...She seemed to be saying either option was fine. But then today i have been reading around online (the net can be a wonderful but also very contradictory place!) and found an article which suggests the risk of further mc is slightly higher if couples don't wait for a normal cycle before falling pg again...

And now i am soooo confused if we should wait for af to show (god knows when) or just take it easy and see what happens. It would feel very un-natural to us, i must say to either abstain or to start using contraception again while we wait for af...and i'd prefer for us to get back to 'normal' in as many ways as we can...but at the same time i'm terrified of course of the possibility of another mc...and not sure i could handle going through this again EVER nevermind so soon

Not sure if you'll know the answer hun, just wondered if you know where i could get some reliable info on this?

Thanks.

 

[Kota]

Hey there!
I'm exactly where you are.. and the tinterweb can be as bad as it is good at times!!! I've spoken to both my dr and my accupunturist and gotten two differnt responses, the dr said it was best to wait until af returns for at least one cycle, as it makes it easier to date the pregnancy as well as the slightly higher chance of a 2nd m/c. My accupuncturist's view was that it was up to us, if I felt emotionally and physically ready and knew the slight increase in risk then there was no reason why we shouldn't continue to 'try'.

Like you, I don't want to go back to using contraception, I can't take the pill regardless, dont' want to get my iud refitted and pretty much refuse to use condoms as we both hate them!!! We've decided just to take it as it comes this month. We're not trying, but not preventing. As I've got no idea when Ovualtion is due, and not temping to work it out, we're just having sex when we wnat to have sex!! I am however keeping a record of those dates to give a rough guide if i do happen to BFP again before AF.

If I do, and the worst happens again, THEN I'll look at taking a more serious step back for a month to wait for AF.

So nope, no answers, just a feeling that it will be alright.

 

[Rebaby]

Hi, thanks for your reply. I am even more confused today after my hospital appointment yesterday I was told that the consultant recommends waiting two cycles before TTC but the nurse telling me this said she felt that the extra cycle makes no difference and at the end of the day it's about us as a couple. She personally would say wait for AF and then do as you please.

Now i REALLY don't know what to do! Argh!

Feeling less tearful today but more blue and also a bit pissed off actually! My pain and bleeding have really slowed now, more like spotting with an occasional cramp. I want to move forward but i don't know how best to do that and i think my OH is just as confused!

Thanks anyway

 

[Rebaby]

Well...we picked! We're going to wait for AF and then get back to TTC

It's funny- before the MC we were NTNP, and although i really wish this hadn't happened to us, it has made us re-evaluate things and we're both really 100% confident now that what we want is to start our family asap...

So now i'm just hoping AF doesn't stay away too long, and in the meantime...well i suppose practice makes perfect

 

[Kota]

Glad to hear you made a decision!! You must be hoping like anything that AF hurrys up and comes to visit so you can get right back into it!!

The last two weeks seem to have taken FOREVER!! I hate not knowing when I'm due to ovulate, and I've still managed not to be temping so can't even tell once its come and gone.... Guess it's just the waiting game..

and lots of for practise purposes!!!

 

[benjwool]

Kota:

First of all, sorry for your loss! I too had a mc and am still waiting for my cycles to return to normal. I'm glad we're both on Team Shamrock, I think we've got quite a bit in common. I am also on CD 16 of 34, so the same exact days! Maybe we'll both get some great news at the same time!!

 

[Kota]

Hello!
Sorry for your loss also.
Looks like we do. My cycle length at the moment is such a rough estimate, I've just kinda gone on an average and am hoping from there. I've read/heard that an early m/c like mine (5wks) your 'o' date returns to around teh same time so this is what I'm hoping for. But who knows!! Just playing the waiting game now like I would guess you are too. It sucks!

 

[Rebaby]

Ok, so...i think i ovulated?!?

I have never charted or temped or anything at all really, but i do normally get some ovulation pain and notice a change in my cm (although i don't 'check' my cm but notice in passing! Lol!)

Anyway! I think i might have ovulated 27th/28th Feb...and...we have gone off track a bit with the WTT too!

The only thing that is really confusing me is that i normally get a migraine around about when AF is due, not every month but i'd say every other month, either the day before or on the day for e.g. and on Friday (27th) i had a horrendous horrendous migraine. So from that point of view it doesn't quite sit right, and plus, for some reason i wasn't expecting to ovulate so soon, i really though the MC would mess up my fragile cycles big time and i'd be waiting on forever!

Hmmm!

I am really trying NOT to think about TTC or ovulating or babies, or MC'ing or ANYTHING but it isn't working!!!!!

 

[Kota]

Oh I so know the feeling!! My 'month of taking it easy' has really just been me not temping.. other then that everything has been as it was. I ovulated on Saturday/Sunday so am too in the 2ww. Really going to struggle waiting until the 17th to test though... although I don't have any hpt's so as long as i can resist going into a chemist!!