Princess Lou
Finally a Mummy!
- Joined
- Jun 11, 2011
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Hi Ladies.
I guess I will start at the beginning. (Sorry but it's going to be long.)
So, in June 2008 my fella and I decided it was the right time to start a family, I was booked in to have the implant removed in July and rather than have a new one put it, we planned our family.
I was advised that I would have a withdrawal bleed within a week and then my cycles will start as they were before I went on birth control at 15, every 28 days, I could even pin point the minute they would start they were that regular (started aged 10).
Anyways, by mid September I still hadn't had a bleed and my fella suggested I take a HPT. Expecting it to come back negative, I was shocked when it came back positive I was shocked and very much thrilled. We went to see my GP who confirmed with a urine test that I was pregnant. Beginning of October I noticed some spotting and was advised to go to Accident and Emergency just to make sure that everything was okay. There I had a blood test done and was advised that I appear to have suffered a miscarriage and could expect everything to come away. I through myself into making sure everything was ready for our Wedding in November, becoming increasingly concerned that I still hadn't bled. After the wedding I went back to the doctor to see what was going on and I was referred to the hospital for tests and scans. A urine test said that I was pregnant, a blood test said I wasn't, a scan confirmed that I was never pregnant and I had cysts on my ovaries and that was what was causing the positive result on the urine test. I was devastated. I had grieved for a child that not only did I never lose, I never conceived. I was monitored with the cysts and a month later, a week before Christmas they ruptured and I was in hospital until Christmas Eve.
Three month later, still having no periods, I was sent in for further scans to find out what was happening but received no answers. Finally in August 2009, 13 months after we started trying, I was referred to a Fertility Specialist. We got the appointment through for 10th November. Excited and nervous we made our way there. When we arrived we were informed that I had called and rescheduled for five days earlier on the 5th. This is something that I would never have done, November 5th is my Mum's birthday and I lost her to cancer eight month earlier after such a short battle.
I decided not to dwell on things and a few days later we moved our lives from England to Ireland.
I began seeing a new doctor. He decided that rather than wait for my records to become available to him, he would run his own tests and then refer us to the Fertility in Ireland. As my hubby was working in Scotland for a few month, we would have to wait for his tests. We were once again referred back to the specialist and finally saw one in October 2010, 2 years and 3 month after we started on our journey.
Once again, we were sent for tests. At this time I had lost count of the amount of tests I had undergone. At least my hubby's SA's kept coming back very healthy. One of us having problems is bad enough.
In March this year we went back for another appointment and I was prescribed Clomid. CD's 1-5 at 50mg. I went in for a scan on CD12 to make sure things looked okay. At CD35 I hadn't gotten my period and kept getting negative HPT's. I went in for a blood test and another scan. Both denied pregnancy. I was advised to go straight into the next round of Clomid but to change the dosage from 50mg to 100mg. On CD12 I went in for another scan an ovulation looked really positive. Later that day I started getting pains in my pelvis so I just put it down to ovulation pains. They continues to get worse and sex was eventually unbearable, I couldn't even pee without feeling more pain in my pelvis. I went to the doctor and the tested me to see if it was a water infection, although he thought it was probably OHSS (Over Hyper Stimulation Syndrome). I trip to the hospital confirmed OHSS. I was advised to go back if the pain intensified, otherwise, at the end of the cycle I should return to normal. Sure enough, AF arrived, putting that cycle at 26 days. Cycle three and four were also at 100mg. Cycle three was 29 days and cycle four was 28 days. For cycle five I was put on 150mg and sure enough, AF arrived, 29 days. On August 5th I started on 200mg for cycle 6. Going over my previous cycles, AF was scheduled from August 31st to September 3rd.
Friday 9th September, AF had not arrived and I had three negative HPT's. At lunch time today, (Tuesday 13th September 2011, 3 years, 1 month and 3 weeks after we started trying) I was told the test was negative. Neither my GP nor my FS will do anything to find out why I don't have a period or a positive despite ovulating on CD14 (FS confirmed). All I have been told is that I will be referred for a Clomid Review appointment which will be approximately 12 weeks before that comes through.
Now I am at the point where I am thinking "what is the point of continuing to out myself through this torment? To put my forever loving husband through the heartache of not getting the longed for family that he deserves and could have with any other woman." I have been feeling/thinking this for a long time and today was the last straw for me. There is only so much one person can take and cope with.
My hubby wants to keep trying and we have agreed that we will go to the review appointment when it comes through and in the meantime we are going to look into adoption and fostering.
Sorry that this is so long and the rant but I needed to vent somewhere and there isn't anyone I know personally that has gone through infertility or even knows anyone other than me that is having the issues I am.
Good luck to all you ladies and I hope you get your much anticipated BFP sooner rather than later.
XXX
I guess I will start at the beginning. (Sorry but it's going to be long.)
So, in June 2008 my fella and I decided it was the right time to start a family, I was booked in to have the implant removed in July and rather than have a new one put it, we planned our family.
I was advised that I would have a withdrawal bleed within a week and then my cycles will start as they were before I went on birth control at 15, every 28 days, I could even pin point the minute they would start they were that regular (started aged 10).
Anyways, by mid September I still hadn't had a bleed and my fella suggested I take a HPT. Expecting it to come back negative, I was shocked when it came back positive I was shocked and very much thrilled. We went to see my GP who confirmed with a urine test that I was pregnant. Beginning of October I noticed some spotting and was advised to go to Accident and Emergency just to make sure that everything was okay. There I had a blood test done and was advised that I appear to have suffered a miscarriage and could expect everything to come away. I through myself into making sure everything was ready for our Wedding in November, becoming increasingly concerned that I still hadn't bled. After the wedding I went back to the doctor to see what was going on and I was referred to the hospital for tests and scans. A urine test said that I was pregnant, a blood test said I wasn't, a scan confirmed that I was never pregnant and I had cysts on my ovaries and that was what was causing the positive result on the urine test. I was devastated. I had grieved for a child that not only did I never lose, I never conceived. I was monitored with the cysts and a month later, a week before Christmas they ruptured and I was in hospital until Christmas Eve.
Three month later, still having no periods, I was sent in for further scans to find out what was happening but received no answers. Finally in August 2009, 13 months after we started trying, I was referred to a Fertility Specialist. We got the appointment through for 10th November. Excited and nervous we made our way there. When we arrived we were informed that I had called and rescheduled for five days earlier on the 5th. This is something that I would never have done, November 5th is my Mum's birthday and I lost her to cancer eight month earlier after such a short battle.
I decided not to dwell on things and a few days later we moved our lives from England to Ireland.
I began seeing a new doctor. He decided that rather than wait for my records to become available to him, he would run his own tests and then refer us to the Fertility in Ireland. As my hubby was working in Scotland for a few month, we would have to wait for his tests. We were once again referred back to the specialist and finally saw one in October 2010, 2 years and 3 month after we started on our journey.
Once again, we were sent for tests. At this time I had lost count of the amount of tests I had undergone. At least my hubby's SA's kept coming back very healthy. One of us having problems is bad enough.
In March this year we went back for another appointment and I was prescribed Clomid. CD's 1-5 at 50mg. I went in for a scan on CD12 to make sure things looked okay. At CD35 I hadn't gotten my period and kept getting negative HPT's. I went in for a blood test and another scan. Both denied pregnancy. I was advised to go straight into the next round of Clomid but to change the dosage from 50mg to 100mg. On CD12 I went in for another scan an ovulation looked really positive. Later that day I started getting pains in my pelvis so I just put it down to ovulation pains. They continues to get worse and sex was eventually unbearable, I couldn't even pee without feeling more pain in my pelvis. I went to the doctor and the tested me to see if it was a water infection, although he thought it was probably OHSS (Over Hyper Stimulation Syndrome). I trip to the hospital confirmed OHSS. I was advised to go back if the pain intensified, otherwise, at the end of the cycle I should return to normal. Sure enough, AF arrived, putting that cycle at 26 days. Cycle three and four were also at 100mg. Cycle three was 29 days and cycle four was 28 days. For cycle five I was put on 150mg and sure enough, AF arrived, 29 days. On August 5th I started on 200mg for cycle 6. Going over my previous cycles, AF was scheduled from August 31st to September 3rd.
Friday 9th September, AF had not arrived and I had three negative HPT's. At lunch time today, (Tuesday 13th September 2011, 3 years, 1 month and 3 weeks after we started trying) I was told the test was negative. Neither my GP nor my FS will do anything to find out why I don't have a period or a positive despite ovulating on CD14 (FS confirmed). All I have been told is that I will be referred for a Clomid Review appointment which will be approximately 12 weeks before that comes through.
Now I am at the point where I am thinking "what is the point of continuing to out myself through this torment? To put my forever loving husband through the heartache of not getting the longed for family that he deserves and could have with any other woman." I have been feeling/thinking this for a long time and today was the last straw for me. There is only so much one person can take and cope with.
My hubby wants to keep trying and we have agreed that we will go to the review appointment when it comes through and in the meantime we are going to look into adoption and fostering.
Sorry that this is so long and the rant but I needed to vent somewhere and there isn't anyone I know personally that has gone through infertility or even knows anyone other than me that is having the issues I am.
Good luck to all you ladies and I hope you get your much anticipated BFP sooner rather than later.
XXX
sending you hugs x
Now I'm made out of questions and requests for explanations. 
