Wanting to...but convincing DH....

[runnergrl]

I want to get off BCP so badly, but we have agreed to wait until the summer to actively start 'trying' to have a baby. I know from being on here and doing loads of research there are many 'natural' family planning methods of prevention.

What I am having trouble with is convincing my DH to allow me to come off the pill. I want all the hormones to be completely out of my system when we are actively TTC. I heard this can sometimes take up tp 6 months. And then again some women get preggers immediately after stopping bcp.

I am getting older (29) and would love to have 2 or 3 kids, but absolutely want to be pregnant before I turn 30.

Has anyone had this struggle or could offer some advice on how to talk to him to get him to let me get off the pill? I really dont like the way it makes me feel. And Yes, I have told him that..

Any advice would be so apprectiated

 

[celine]

How long have u been on the pill? I would say it is a good idea to get off it now to let it get out of ur system, and you could just use condoms in the meanwhile?
editted to say that I was naughty and went on and off the pill for about 8 years and in the end it made my ovaries rather lazy - they were not used to ovulating so they waiting their sweet time to get right!

 

[runnergrl]

Ive been on the pill for about 6 years.. all the time.. I missed it last month because of insurance reasons and we werent worried about it because we were married and if it happened it happened, but I am pretty sure I ovulated...

 

[PeanutBean]

I agree it would be good to get off the pill as it can take a long time to get back to normal. I too wanted to have my first baby before 30 and managed with Byron being born exactly 3 months before my 30th birthday! Can he not use condoms? I'm afraid I struggle with these sorts of conundrums as DH would never expect or even ask me to do something I wasn't comfortable with. The pill really disagrees with me and I have not used anything other than condoms for about 8 years. I feel that it's your body and you should be doing with it what you want and your OH should be supportive of that.

 

[runnergrl]

I agree with you, but I also feel that I shouldnt make him wear condoms either, since he hates them and we are married.. Its just a tough, touchy subject around our household because we arent quite ready, but I hate the pill and he hates condoms so...

 

[PeanutBean]

But condoms don't mess with his body and the pill does mess with yours. It's different because of how invasive that method of contraception is. There is an alternative though... Maybe he'd prefer condoms than no sex!

 

[AmeliePoulain]

I'd say that condoms probably are your best option - is it a compromise he could cope with for just 6 months or so?????

I was quite lucky - my OH kind of took the opinion that I had had to put up with all the down sides of BCP for nearly 6 years and it was probably his turn to be in charge of the contraception! (....and now I whinge about condoms more than he does!)

 

[calm]

I personally never understand how men don't mind about women pumping hormones in them, but get in a huff if they have to use a condom, which as people above have said, doesn't do anything to you but make sex a more eeky. I think its your choice and your choice alone if you want to take BC, and when to stop it. (I mean by this, its your decision if and when you want to stop taking BC, not that its your decision alone to TTC). Your body deserves a break and getting ready for TTC. If he wants to wait to the original date to TTC, then he will just have to use condoms. (That's my harsh opinion anyway LOL) take care x

 

[runnergrl]

Thanks to all of you.. I think we will have another talk tonight. I will let you know how it goes..

 

[lovehearts]

How did you talk go hun? I wanted to come off my pill, not to TTC but to straighten my body out for when i did. I simply told him i wasnt putting them hormones in my body anymore and if he didnt want a baby then he could use condoms. at first it was hard to get in to the routine but now its fine and as much as we both hate them we use them. good luck xxx

 

[PeanutBean]

I just don't understand the condom thing. Both DH and I have no problem with them. Having spent some months TTC obviously without them I can't say I can recall much of a difference in feel. It's all psychological I think. And so what if it takes a moment to put one on? If you're in a happy relationship it's not like that's going to kill the mood. It's not like sex is like on TV all glam with no funny stuff, no bumping or mishaps or whatever.

 

[HippyMumma23]

Hey hon, cant you use the pull out method? Ive not been on the pill for many years and we dont use condoms (dp hates them).

I know the pull out method sounds gross, but those naughty men kind of like it ;-) it might add the the tactical persuasion of letting you come off the pill ;-)

 

[LadyofRohan]

Keep in mind that Natural Family planning only really works if you have a regular cycle. If you are all over the place (like I am ) it makes it hard to pin down your ovulation. I chart and use OPKs, but OPKs can get expensive after a while.

Also, pulling out is not that effective because most men pre-ejaculate which can contain sperm. Alot of women I know became pregnant using the pull out method. If you go that way you should be in the "not trying but not preventing" category and let your husband know the consequences of not using condoms.

So....you can tell him either to use condoms or 1) be willing to become pregnant if using the pull out method, 2) spend money on OPKs, 3) no sex until after ovulation. Tell him that you being on the pill is not an option because it is messing with your cycles and you want it all worked out before you start TTC. I just got off my BC after three years, I'm on day 26 of my cycle and still haven't ovulated. This may take a while

 

[Webbykinskt]

I personally never understand how men don't mind about women pumping hormones in them, but get in a huff if they have to use a condom, which as people above have said, doesn't do anything to you but make sex a more eeky. I think its your choice and your choice alone if you want to take BC, and when to stop it. (I mean by this, its your decision if and when you want to stop taking BC, not that its your decision alone to TTC). Your body deserves a break and getting ready for TTC. If he wants to wait to the original date to TTC, then he will just have to use condoms. (That's my harsh opinion anyway LOL) take care x

I second that. My DF didn't want me to come off the pill even though my doctor recommended it. I had some people saying I was doing it just to 'get caught' as they put it, but I've actually put HIM in control of contraception so it's the complete opposite! I was on the pill for 5 years and i've been off for three months and my hormones are still all over the place. (And i'm only 19 so you'd have thought I'd be fine by now). I highly recommend it as there are some ladies on here that have really struggled whilst waiting for their normal cycles to return. (I'm still waiting for mine)

Good luck x

 

[runnergrl]

Wow, thank you all for the advice. Was going to talk to him last night, but It never seemed the right time, and I just chickened out. And today I started spotting in the middle of my cycle and I never do that. But I am on a new BCP... Just another reason I hate it...

You are right, it is HIS turn to be in charge of our BC method. If that's condowm, then so be it!

Thanks, yall are so great

 

[runnergrl]

I hate typos, sorry, *condom* not condowm...

 

[Missi]

I had exactly the same experience as lovehearts. After coming off the pill I feel much better and although neither of us like using condoms, we know it will not be forever (until April 2010). Good luck and let us know how you get on.

 

[PeanutBean]

Good luck with the talk. Be strong!

 

[parkgirl]

I agree with the other ladies. Getting off the BCP's sooner rather than later would be much better for you. If he really can't deal with condoms, maybe you could try using another method. Female condoms, the sponge, diaphragm, FAM method, and so on.

 

[runnergrl]

He said yes! Condoms it is. whoo hoo!