warning - completely pointless post caused by lots of tears

[Perdita]

I've just found out that my friend that fell pregnant the same week I did had a miscarriage on sunday. On sunday I found out one of friends at work had a miscarriage on the friday. I actually feel numb - I want to talk to them and do whatever I can for them but they don't want me near them - they feel so scared that it will happen to me too as though it's catching!
I don't know what to think - I was already so scared and this has kinda pushed me over the edge to not feeling anything!
I'm on the verge of calling the hospital and lying to get a scan - I know it's wrong to lie to them when it might effect later care but I know that unless I say I'm bleeding they won't do anything and yet I've read so many stories where women have gone for the 12 week scan only to be told the baby stopped growing a few weeks earlier!
I'm sorry, this is a pointless story and it's horrible to only give out bad news but had to tell someone!
xxx

 

[Pippasdvision]

I understand the way you feel it is worrying hearing lots of stories and it reminds you how fragile these things are. But if you have no negative symptoms you might be taking the place of someone who really needs the scan. Try to be strong and hold onto the fact that you dont have any neg syptoms. If u want poas might give u peace of mind

 

[debgreasby]

hang in there hunni

 

[Perdita]

Pippadivision - the epu scan everyone, I'd either be put on early list or late list but they don't send anyone away, it means you sometimes have to wait AGES for your booked scan if there's been a few emergencies but they do scans with the portable if people go to daycare because of reduced movements and that sometimes actually frees up time in the main rooms, I wouldn't be taking a scan away from anyone. It's more that I'm a nurse myself and it's one thing to exaggerate a bit to get some sympathy but inventing symptoms can bite you in the ass later!
I'm trying not to think the worst but it's pretty hard, the loss of innocence when you lose a baby at any stage makes everything seem dark and scary!
xx

 

[AP]

You can do it hun, hold on in there. I am feeling the same too - you begin to wonder what is going on in there!

 

[Pippasdvision]

That is not what I meant at all please do not be offended. I know that the EPU is fantastic and if you feel that it is the only way you are going to feel beter then please do go for a scan. Attacking someone who is just trying to give supportive advise on a forum that invites subjective opinions, you have to understand that other people will have differnt views to yourself. I am sorry if you feel that my opinion is wrong.

 

[Perdita]

That is not what I meant at all please do not be offended. I know that the EPU is fantastic and if you feel that it is the only way you are going to feel beter then please do go for a scan. Attacking someone who is just trying to give supportive advise on a forum that invites subjective opinions, you have to understand that other people will have differnt views to yourself. I am sorry if you feel that my opinion is wrong.

I wasn't attacking you, I was just responding to the line about taking a slot from someone else. I wasn't offended and think you were maybe a tiny bit thin skinned about it but not to worry - we all express ourselves differently and as such are open to misinterpretation. As you said it's all subjective so no need to feel attacked because I expressed a response.

 

[fluffyblue]

Hey I would do whatever it takes to make you feel better if that means fudging the truth so be it, this is about you and nobody else. Believe you me there have been times when I have felt exactly the same and even last week rang EPU to tell them how I feel and they were wonderful and called me up for a scan.

My local midwife even rang EPU when I was about 10 weeks and told them I had a PV loss and I hadnt, she wanted to give me piece of mind and it worked. I know people have views about people technically "lying" to get a scan, but 99% of you is not lying because you genuinally are scared.

As I said darlin I would do whatever it takes for me xxxxxx

 

[sparkle_1979]

hang in there and if an early scan makes you feel better then tell a couple of porkies and get yourself one. worrying does mummy no good at all hun so do what you need to for some reassurance xx

 

[Perdita]

I'm going to call the community midwife and see what she says - it's 2 weeks till my booked scan but it's been 3 weeks since saw the heartbeat and just so anxious with 2 friends losing pregnancies so close together plus I'm just so nervous all the time anyway! Every tiny change is a bad sign, no nausea today so must be catastrophic, I think she'll be sympathetic as she's been good so far! Can but try.
Thanks everyone
xxx

 

[fluffyblue]

Thinking of u hun, keep us posted xxxx

 

[Perdita]

I've to phone her back tomorrow and if still feeling the same she'll try and get me booked in for monday - fingers crossed!
Thanks everyone!
xx

 

[Nosy_Cow]

Did you call her back hun?

I can understand this been a worrying time. In my last pregnancy my friend was 4 weeks ahead of me and she had a MMC at 13 weeks. I was terrified I'd lose my baby too. Unfortunatly I did lose my baby at 25 weeks but under very different circumstances.

This time round I found out the same friend is 6 weeks ahead of me this time! I'm sure you could imagine how shocked we both were and terrified it would happen again. So far both pregnancies have progressed well though!

Sending you big ! I hate the waiting inbetween scans! Seems to take forever!

 

[Jox]

Perdita - knowing your history just tell them you are panicing, you cant sleep, cant eat etc... exaggerate all of that and tell them you wont be able to relax without a scan. Hopefully they give you one

xxx

 

[Perdita]

I've spoke to them again and no go - told to wait till my scan on the 25th. I'm not bleeding so no reason to worry - I hate it when people say that!
Decided just to wait, I'm on leave this week so don't have to go to work and worry about it - can do it in the privacy of my own home!
Thanks everyone, just have to wait and see, no matter how hard it is!
xx

 

[goddess25]

Everything is going to be fine... we are all scared and feeling the same. You are so right that the loss of innocence after a loss makes it a really scary time. I have some friends that have easy pregnancies and they dont even consider losses.... i wish that could be us but its not and we will all get through this with our babies at the end.