Warning FOB Rant. Very Long.

[Tanara]

My sons father is seriously the most rude immature parent I have even known.

Pretty much after i left him i didnt see a cent for my son for months, finally last November we agree'd on our own terms. Pretty much he gets Taye every second weekend (5 days a month...) Because that is what he wants. I asked him for $250 a month which is nothing since if we were to go threw maintenance he would be paying between $500-$600 a month.

So we pretty much twisted his arm to take Taye, he honestly wanted nothing to do with the situation because he was to busy being a teenager (he's 21). Anyways January of this year he decided to be a parent because me and Dustin were living together and i guess he felt "threatened" that his son had another man in his life now.

Well he owes me $750 from a year ago, which he is refusing to pay because from his exact words " I'm a selfish bitch who does nothing but sit on my ass, and I've never provided a thing for my son his whole life" Also how i'm lazy and ignorant because I send things I buy for MY son to his house (because hes useless and still has my almost 3 year old in a fucking CRIB) and it comes back wrecked or disgustingly dirty. I do nothing yet my son has plenty of clothes, a single bed, dresser, toys, car-seat, stroller, 2 bikes ect.. all that I bought with my own money, yes my OH does buy him things, he bought him shoes and a hat and a few outfits, but i had almost everything before we got together. I bought a portable potty FOR his dads house, i send clothes, a tooth brush, lotion, shampoo, EVEN cups, and a car-seat cause he doesn't even have that for his son.

I am so sick of this, I'm sick of sending stuff there, buying things to help him out (because in the end my concern is Taye and its for Taye) But I am so sick of the fight every month for child support, I'm sick of being told im a bad mom and being told i do nothing. I do everything for Taye, the only reason that little boy has anything is because of me. He has always had his own room, bed and always been fed and taken care of. I am just so sick of being put down ever month, and being made out to be a fat lazy mom who sits on my fat ass and does nothing for my family.

I don't want to file for Maintenance because we wont agree on terms meaning we will have to go to court and my OH works out of town and I dont have a car, and i will have a newborn right away. I just dont know what to do, I try my hardest to put up with his crap for my son because I love Taye and I dont want him to ever suffer, but I dont know how much more of his shit I can handle before i just snap.

I have enough on my plate, my OH is gone away to work and we dont even know how long hes gone. I have to pack our whole house in 8 days, and then we are moving next Friday, Which his dad picks him up on the same day, And i feel so freaking disorganized, and flustered. Like everything is out of my control. Plus Christmas is right around the freaking corner which is a whole other crap load of stress, since were moving to a small city there isn't anywhere to shop. And I feel like it's freaking crunch time on getting things organized for baby, and we dont have anything yet, out baby shower is suppose to be on Nov. 6th but OH's mom is so busy with Halloween she hasn't done anything.

Sorry for the crazy long rant I just feel like my head is going to explode.

 

[x__amour]

Oh Tanara... I'm so sorry...
You are such a wonderful Mom and your FOB is an asshole. He really needs to step it up. I hope everything works out for you!

 

[Tanara]

 

[DazedConfused]

What an ass!

You're obviously an amazing committed parent to your son so don't let FOB get you down!
This kind of stress is what you just don't need atm! No advice but I read your rant

 

[Tanara]

I wasn't really writing for any type of advice just makes me feel better to get it out, and the last thing the OH wants to hear about is FOB drama since he already hates him.

 

[MissMamma]

awh hun i'm so sorry
i don't have any advice but you are an amazingly strong woman with a perfect little family and this guy just sounds like a complete ass...
wishing you all the best with you're move and i know everyone probably says it to you but try not to get stressed hun..xx

 

[EffyKat]

You have to see it from his point of view!! He still wants to be 'young and carefree'! And you're trying to take that away from him?! :O
You're doing a fabulous job! Don't let him get to you and don't ever let him put you down because you know you're a good mum! And Taye loves you!
Just keep your chin up!!

 

[rjb]

what a jerk. if you told him he can't see Taye until he pays, would he take it to court?
(on a lighter note, we have the same shower date )

 

[AriannasMama]

. Sorry he is such an ass, I would just take him to court though, you shouldn't have to buy him anything just so he can take care of his son. My OH has a daughter with an ex and ALWAYS had what she needed at his house when she was there, so he should be able to do the same. You are a great mom and shouldn't have to put up with his crap.

 

[Jadelm]

You really are a great mum hun, he's just being spiteful and trying to hurt you because he knows how much Taye means to you. Sounds like a right prick and I'm so sorry you have to deal with him I don't know what to advise but just know that you should be proud of yourself for everything you've done for your son and for how much of a strong woman you are for getting through everything with your head held high xxx

 

[Tanara]

what a jerk. if you told him he can't see Taye until he pays, would he take it to court?
(on a lighter note, we have the same shower date )

I can't with hold Taye from him because its not fair to his family or Taye. I wouldn't feel right about keeping Taye away from his dad (and i enjoy the time to myself to be honest its a nice break to be able to catch up on sleep.)

 

[Tanara]

Thank you guys for reading my long post LOL, I'm just going to have a talk with him when he picks up Taye on the 29th, I'll see if we can come to terms on our own, if not i already have the paperwork for Maintenance filled out.