[Was] Carrying a dead baby inside of me.

[MissyBee]

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[Dollface]

Oh sweetie, I am so sorry. A few years ago, my gf and I were going to adopt a baby from a friend. We went through the same thing. We saw the baby on the first ultrasound, and it was perfect. Even was sucking its thumb. But then, about a week later, there was no heartbeat, and after another u/s, they determined it was dead. It as a terrible time for all of us involved, but I cannot imagine how it feels for you. Just know you are in my thoughts and prayers, and I hope God gives you peace as you deal with this tragedy. Again, I am very sorry for your loss.

 

[aviolet]

Do what feels right hon. I'm so sorry for your loss. It IS common for women to feel like they can't begin to heal as long as they are still carrying the baby inside of them. And once it is released it is easier to move forward (never try to move on, just move forward, because we have to learn to live with the pain, not pretend like it never happened). So if you feel a D&C is best, then go ahead. If you would rather wait it out that's fine too. I know it's hard no matter which road you take. But I'm glad you've found support here because these women are wonderful

 

[misk]

awww huny, i'm in tears at the thought of you going thru this.
I had the same thing 6 months ago. my heart really goes out to you as I know exactly what you are going through ... my heart is with you hun..

 

[DollPosse]

I went through this year. I carried a baby to the end of the first tri and then had to have a D+C because it had died. I had my D+C in Feb just in time for Valentine's Day. It was really rough. I am still horribly depressed, espcially since it was my fourth loss. My baby had stopped growing and its' heart stopped beating. I am pretty sure I will never try again. I know some people move on and go on to have children but I can't.

If you want to talk with someone who knows how you feel or can probably guess what you are feeling pretty accurately then by all means PM me. It hurts beyond hurt, and if I can just listen I gladly will.

Hugs

 

[lilvixen]

Just want to send you huge hugs... I went through almost the same thing in Nov 10... went for 12 week scan completely oblivious to anything being wrong, had the scan with my 2 little girls & DH excited beside me only to be told there was no HB and it had died more than a week before... it is truly shocking and devastating, whether you have other children or not... I wish you all the very best in the future xxx

eta, I felt exactly the same as you, couldn't bear the thought of still feeling sick indefinitely until I naturally passed the baby which they said I might not as I hadn't already so opted for the D & C - I felt 100% physically better as soon as I'd come round after the GA and so so glad I took that option xx

 

[Baby_AJ]

So sorry for your loss, my thoughts are with you *hugs*

 

[Andypanda6570]

I am so sorry you are going through this. I lost my Ava at 18 weeks. I went in with my best friend to do the Amnio and she was gone, no heartbeat I think well I know my world ended that day. I had to get 3 more sonograms for it to be confirmed and then I had to wait 3 days with her dead inside me for an operation they call a D and E ? Never heard of this procedure , but anyway they stick things up you called Seaweed to open your cervix the night before the operation and then they go in and take the baby out piece by piece when you are past 15 weeks there is nothing else they can do, they can induce you but they don't recommend it, for me , Ava didn't wait for the operation she came out in my bathroom, which at first I thought God was punishing me but after I learned what that operation was I was so happy she came out this way. We held her and buried her on March 11th 2011
The nurses told me before, I would have went in for the surgery ,they would have explained the D and E procedure to me. I would not have done it, I would have walked out and told them to induce me. It was just a mess and I am still a mess. You just never get over this, ever. I am 40 and have 3 boys 20,17 and 11 and we were not planning anymore, after 11 years = SURPRISE .... Ava was here and now she is gone and I am so so empty We get through it, but it hurts so very much, it does ease the pain but it's always there. I will start crying out of the blue I could be anywhere and then this feeling comes over me and I am a mess I have changed, this has made me a different person and at times someone I don't know. You will get through this but never over it, just know people care and will be here if you need us. I am so sorry and if you need to talk please message me
XOXOXOXOXOXXOOXOXOX

 

[Justkeeptryin]

Im sorry for your loss. i know how you feel. I had been having early scans and seeing the baby with a strong heartbeat 4 times until last Friday when there was no heartbeat, I was devastated I was 10 weeks pregnant. They booked me for A d&c but I thought I may have passed the baby on Sunday as I had heavy bleeding and a lot of pain but on Tuesday when I went in for my D&C they scanned me first and the baby was still there so I had the procedure done. I nearly didnt as I went into a full blown panic as Im actually terrified on hospitals and the thought of theatre but I can honestly say Im so glad I went through with it, it was fine. You get put to sleep an dthe next thing you know your waking up. All I had was some period like cramping afterwards but I think its the best option. Apparently medical management can be very painful and result in a lot of blood loss, I've also heard many people still need to have the D&C in the end as not everything comes away. Take care of yourself xx

 

[Tonks]

I went in yesterday for a scan and there was no heart beat. Since I went in a weak ago and the baby was measured at 6 weeks 3 days and the heart beat was strong, then last night they measure the baby at 6 weeks 4 days. Which means my baby died about a week ago, one day after the sono that had told me everything was perfectly normal. We announced the pregnancy after that sono, now a week later its over, but the process hasn't even begun. I still have all my pregnancy symptoms and I am not cramping or bleeding. I know my baby has died but I can't do anything but sit and wait. I keep telling myself its a mistake and I will go in next week and we will see the heart beat again, but I know this is just denial. I am beyond broken and the worst part is that this hell could go on for weeks. If you have the option to speed up the process and you feel its the right thing to do, don't let anyones comments or judgement prevent you from what you need. The pain you are feeling is the most cruel pain. I feeling it too. Right now.

 

[amitootold]

Missybee, I have been following your story on 1st tri and know what a horrible time you have been going through. I would have been 13+3 now if I had still been pregnant. I had a natural m/c which ended about a week ago (I was 10+3 when I found out the baby had not grown past 6+4 - the baby was dead inside me for nearly a month). If I would have known what I would go through, I would have opted for medical management. I did have a m/c before but it was just like a bad period but this one was totally different. Seeing what would have been your baby coming out of you is very shocking and I don't think I will ever get over that, or my DH who also saw it. Its a horrible time but I suppose you just have to think that the baby was not well and thats why such a horrendous thing happened. Sending massive hugs, keep strong honey xxxxx

 

[MyDecember]

I am so sorry for your loss. I had a missed miscarriage and only discovered at what I thought was 10 weeks that the baby had actually stopped developing at 6 weeks 1 day. So for nearly a month, my belly grew, I had cravings, and walked around in a cloud of mistaken bliss. You're right - it does feel like a cruel joke. I am only 10 days out from my miscarriage and it is a daily struggle. Stay strong and know that you have a lot of support from the amazing women on this board.

Sending you lots of love and prayers.

 

[MissyBee]

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[Bosch]

I'm so sorry for your loss MissyBee. To lose a child is the hardest thing any woman can go through. We are all here for you. Sending you hugs and love

 

[MissyBee]

.

 

[Jasiellover]

so so sorry im sending you many hugs and prayers

 

[tinaanddan]

Right now I should be 13 weeks pregnant with my first baby. Yesterday though, I had a scan done, and my baby has no heartbeat. It's inside me, but it's dead. I don't even know if I can really believe it. I still feel nauseous all the time, and I'm still having cravings. It feels like everything is just some cruel trick.

Last Thursday, I had my NT scan. My baby was still alive then, but just barely. They said it probably has a chromosomal defect, because the nuchal translucency was so big. Then they sent me for a second opinion the same day where I was told the same thing. This time, my babys heart rate also dropped from 125 to 86 within about 10 minutes time. The doctor said I would probably miscarry, but I didn't want to believe it. She scheduled for me to come back and see if there was any improvement. So that was yesterday, and as I said, no heartbeat. My baby was swollen and full of fluid, and didn't look like a baby anymore. On Thursday it looked perfect, I could already see its little arms and legs. I sort of think it died right then on Thursday after I saw its heart rate drop so fast. I don't know for sure what day it died, though. Just that it was within the last 5 days. I'm so depressed right now, I don't know how I'm supposed to feel or what I'm supposed to do. The doctor is calling me tomorrow morning to schedule a D&C. I don't want to, but I know I can't wait for possibly weeks before my body pushes it out on its own. I can't handle carrying my dead child inside me for so long. It's already killing me right now. I don't know what to do. How am I supposed to get through this?

I'm so sorry for your loss. I just went through the same thing myself. Just had my dnc this past Wednesday. I feel so down and out. My heart is so broken right now. I will say a little prayer for you. This site has been very good to me. Please reach out when you feel down and please let us know how you are doing.

 

[kittycat18]

I am so sorry to hear this sweetheart I lost Alex last year at 12 weeks and I didn't even get to have a scan to see my precious little angel. My body went into natural miscarriage and I began to pass clots of little baby. It's such a devastating and heartbreaking experience... Sending you lots of hugs!!!!!

 

[greeneyes0279]

So sorry for your loss.

 

[Cypress]

Missybee I am so sorry for your loss, and so sorry to all the other posters as well, life is just so cruel and unfair... I thought I was exactly 12 weeks along yesterday, and it was my first scan yesterday too - my DH and I were so excited, only to sit there staring at the screen to be told the baby had died at 6-7 weeks. The pain we've been in since that moment is indescribable, I don't think we'll ever be the same again. I can't stop crying. I am due to go to the hospital in about an hour to have everything removed from inside. Cruelly my body still thought it was pregnant all this time, so the pregnancy sac has been growing normally, I've got a bump, nausea, cravings, tiredness etc. We had made so many plans, been so excited, been on cloud 9. That was a mistake, I now see. I feel empty, numb, sad, angry, and can't believe I've been carrying a dead baby for over a month. I just wanted to say thanks for your thread as it's made me feel less alone.x