Water birth after waters have broken?

[disneydarling]

I have a little update, the health visitor came yesterday.

She was so lovely, but has made me realise how let down I was by the hospital.
She said that the hospital I was at has a bad reputation for saying that they encourage natural birth, but doing the complete opposite. Apparently the midwives there just want an easy life and want to get an epidural in you as soon as you arrive so that they don't have to support you through the pain, they basically want to shut you up.

The HV was also disgusted that I was told I wasn't allowed a water birth. She was really supportive and lovely and explained how I was in such a vulnerable position and can't be blamed for trusting the professionals, who didn't care what I wanted and just wanted an easy life. She said that if I had a water birth they would have had to send midwives up to the birth centre to run the water etc and they probably just couldn't be bothered.

In some ways I feel a lot better, knowing that my hospital is known for doing this and that I'm certainly not the only one. But also it makes me very angry because now I'll never be able to have a peaceful low risk birth because of their selfish actions.

We discussed how my birth progressed and the HV told me that of course there is no knowing how things would have turned out, but she feels that if I hadn't have had the epidural and been allowed a water birth there is a good chance I would have had a natural birth. Quite gutted about that really.

 

[Amygdala]

Is this your last baby? If not, there is no reason why you can't have a natural vbac next time or why you can't use a pool then. A friend of mine had a very traumatic emergency section with her first and a natural water birth with her second. She loved it so much, she's still raving about water births to anyone who will listen and her LO is just about to start school! You still have every chance of having a beautiful, calm, natural birth next time, don't give up on that idea just yet!

 

[disneydarling]

Oh I'm definitely planning on another one (or two)!

I'd love a VBAC, but very scared in case it goes wrong again. I want a water birth more than anything but every single hospital in the area that I research treats VBAC as a high risk therefore won't allow me to use the pool.

 

[irish_cob]

Home vbac then hon, I'm 33 weeks with my second after an emcs with my first and I'm planning a hbac Refused to see any consultants, have just been seeing a midwife and I have no particular fears I'm any higher risk than a first time mum in terms of uterine rupture. You need to be kind to yourself and grieve this birth before you're ready to move on. If you did go for a hbac next time you could guarantee you had a birth pool and you wouldn't be being bossed about by midwives who can't be bothered to support you properly. Loads of hugs xx

 

[disneydarling]

Thanks. That's amazing that you are having a HBAC, I bet it will be wonderful.

Unfortunately, I don't think a home birth is the right choice for me, I'd feel very uncomfortable not being close to the hospital, and don't know how I'd find a midwife to support me either.

I definitely need to get over this birth before I can get pregnant again. If I got pregnant before I come to terms with it, I'd spend the whole 9 months miserable and worried, and not enjoy it. It makes me so sad because I spent my entire pregnancy looking forward to experiencing birth and was not scared at all, and now I'll never be able to feel like that during pregnancy because I'll always fear having a bad experience again.

 

[Amygdala]

For what it's worth, I hated my first birth but have been looking forward to this one the whole pregnancy. I really think time can heal many wounds. I now just see it as a chance for a do-over. Now all I need is for this baby to actually get a move on...

 

[disneydarling]

Aaaah yes by the looks of your ticker you are overdue? Fingers crossed your bub gets moving very soon!

 

[Amygdala]

40+9. Can't bring myself to update the tickers as it's too frustrating.

 

[Wolfie]

Hi,
I do hope things are feeling a bit better for you.
I planned a home birth (with a pool for labouring/ possibly birthing in and my waters broke about 36 hours before my contractions started. The hospital wanted me to come in and be induced but I refused as the NICE guidelines say up to 96 hours. I did go in for monitoring at about 32 hours after waters breaking and then again the following day even though I was in the early stages of labour.
I went back home but did not use the pool. I was scared of infection and we were in rented accommodation that had mushrooms that kept popping up in the bathroom that I would have to use the taps in so I just didn't feel cinders me with that.
I did monitor my temp every four hours and keep an eye on the colour of my liquor so as to check for infection or poo in the waters.
I laboured really well at home but unfortunately my boy got stuck in the second stage. He was posterior and also had a short cord around his neck. I ended up having to go into hospital ( his heartbeat dropped twice during a contraction) and ended up after waiting hours - so it was no emergency, delivering him via forceps an with an epidural and episiotomy. There was no delaying of cord cutting and of course it was quite brutal and nothing like I had hoped. My poor boy had cuts and bruises for weeks (and still two years later one tiny scar) from the foreceps and I felt terrible for him that he was brought into the world in such a way.
Luckily I did not have to have a Caesarian, the hospital had a policy of three goes with the forceps and then it's a Caesar but luckily I got him out on the third go. It took me ages to feel better or less traumatised about the birth and I still wish he had been born more naturally but I do not suffer over it like I did in the early days.
I am pregnant again and hoping for a home birth. I am requesting my labour notes as I kind of debriefing for myself as I think some of the trauma may resurface as it comes closer to my next labour.
I just wanted to tell you my story an to let you know that from my experience the pain does lessen.
Please try not to blame yourself. It's easy to because you don't have anyone /any organisation to attack or confront if you so wished to, but it's not your fault.
I think hospitals are notorious for trying to push labouring women into what's easiest for the hospital and when you are in labour you are vulnerable. Often something sounds like it will be better for the baby and whilst it might be, it's probably a lot easier for the hospital.
Eg when they wanted to induce me, they said "please come in for 6am so we can induce you at 7am. It fits a lot better with the hospital routine."
And after all of that with my birthing story- my waters hasn't all broken, it was a hind leak.

Keep talking to people/midwives/counsellor etc, I am sure it will be helpful and try to enjoy these early days with your little one.