We are half way to a decision....

[Pearls18]

...as to whether to try for a third.

Hubby has agreed to keep the discussion open on whether to try for a third until July 2015, I just wanted a timeframe to aim for it's flexible though. I don't know if I want a third or not, hubby isn't so keen but isn't ruling it out.

In the mean time i/we need to:

- finish the postgraduate diploma aspect of my masters
- go on honeymoon (we are planning on dubai next year, nearly 5 years late lol)
- probably move, hubby is likely to get re-posted in the next 12 months which means a job change for me.

So in that time I will be thinking about:

- making sure I am trying for the right reasons, I must not trick myself into thinking I want a third if I am only trying for a girl lol!
- work out finances, this is hard to do not knowing where we will be moving to and if I will find work ok.
-getting out of the baby stage and working out if I am happy to go back there...!

Sorry just writing out my thoughts for my own clarity, feel free to add your own goals and thoughts if you're uncertain about your own decisions

(I know I should chill out and see what happens with life, but I'm the kind of person that needs plans and deadlines lol)

 

[ttc bubby no2]

You still have lots of time to decide so enjoy your little bub

I feel like some of what you have said is how I feel too. I think I want a 3rd and from my chats with DH he is keen too but is happy with what I decide as he wouldn't want to push me either way.

We also have two boys so I also have to make sure I am not just wanting a 3rd to try for a girl. I have to be fully prepared for the most likely outcome that we would end up with another boy!

We have a few things we need/want to do too:
- renovate our kitchen
- dh needs more stable work (and full time)
- upgrade to a bigger car

I also have a little goal in my head that if we do try for another I have to get my weight down to pre DS1 weight so I'm not as heavy as I was with DS2. My body didn't cope well with the extra weight so 2nd pregnancy was a lot harder.

If we do decide to try for a 3rd we would be looking at starting in 2015... probably after January as two September birthdays is enough

 

[Ganton]

Both of your posts sound so similar to my situation. I'm pretty certain that I want a third but my husband isn't do sure. The idea's growing on him though as he said he was 95% certain that he just wanted 2 before DS2 arrived, but now he's closer to 50:50! We're going to leave the idea open and consider it seriously when DS2 is about a year old. I then need to work out if:
- I want a 3rd baby regardless of gender
- I am thinking properly about having 3 children forever rather than just getting caught up on the excitement of getting pregnant and having a newborn again.
- I really want to go back to the newborn phase.

In the meantime, I really want to:
- enjoy my time off with my 2 boys.
- get back to pre DS1 weight and get fit.
- put in a good effort when I return to work so that they hopefully wouldn't be too annoyed if I announced another pregnancy! This is one of the things that worries me, and I reckon they think I'm done at 2.

 

[HKateH]

Ooh exciting!! Do you think you are influenced by having two boys and wanting a girl?

 

[ttc bubby no2]

- I am thinking properly about having 3 children forever rather than just getting caught up on the excitement of getting pregnant and having a newborn again.

Yes I need to remind myself of this but I have a hard time imagining another child. Probably like when I just had 1 child I couldn't really imagine the next one, although I always wanted at least 2 so I didn't have to justify it to myself!

 

[Ganton]

- I am thinking properly about having 3 children forever rather than just getting caught up on the excitement of getting pregnant and having a newborn again.

Yes I need to remind myself of this but I have a hard time imagining another child. Probably like when I just had 1 child I couldn't really imagine the next one, although I always wanted at least 2 so I didn't have to justify it to myself!

I know, it's so difficult to imagine a child other than the one(s) you already have. My DS2 is only 6 weeks old, and I can already see how his personality is different to his big brother's, so I can now start to imagine how he'll grow up to be a different person.

Just another thought that keeps coming back to me - someone recently said to me that "you'll never regret the children you have, just the ones you don't". I really feel now that I'd regret not having a 3rd at some point in the future.

 

[ttc bubby no2]

Yeah my two boys are so different Another reason why I would love to have a 3rd just to see what other sort of little person we could create. It is so interesting seeing their personalities develop.

It is funny as when DS2 was younger I just tried to enjoy him as much as I could as I thought he would be our last. During the crappy times I told myself at least I would never have to do this again... and now even though I remember all that I'm still considering doing it again.