We took away the pacifier and now bedtime is a nightmare! Help!!

[Itsychik]

After putting off the decision to wean our DS off his pacifier, we finally decided to take it away about 10 days ago. We explained that he was a big boy, and cut the tip off and by the second night he didn't want it and by the 4th day he threw it away in the trash on his own...

But ever since that second night when he didn't want it anymore, getting him to sleep has been awful. The second you leave his room he gets mad and starts screaming/crying and throws his toys out of his crib. We've tried everything we can think of (he has a stuffed toy he's attached to and he sleeps with that, but we also gave him a new toy to reward him for being a big boy, and tried sitting with him longer before he falls asleep, patting/rubbing him, offering him water, ignoring him, etc) but tonight I was out and DH let DS cry for almost 2 hours!!! It's been like this almost every night for almost 10 days, and I'm majorly regretting this decision!!

Any suggestions on getting into a normal bedtime routine, without the tears? Or anyone else have a really difficult time in their 'life after pacifier'?

Help!

 

[OmarsMum]

When we weaned Omar off the dummy, it was almost impossible to put him in bed without crying & fighting sleep. so we went for tv on with dim light until he falls asleep or a car ride until he falls asleep (he always sleeps in the car). It lasted for around 2 months, then he started to ask to go to bed on his own. Good luck

 

[Mum2b_Claire]

Been there. Gave the dummy back. The amount of distress she was in was absolutely the greater of two evils compared to her having a dummy.

Sorry, not much help.

 

[Smithsmith]

We took DDs dummy away just under a month ago. The first fortnight was just awful. We did a normal bedtime routine, bath, cuddles and story in bed etc but then the second I left her she started crying for mummy cuddles. We left her for longer periods each time, up to a max of ten minutes. Sitting at the top of the stars listening to her cry was horrible, and for the first week or so it took an hour and a half to get her to sleep (she would just eventually be too exhausted to keep it up!) but that has gradually got shorter. Last night she shouted out for me for less than 60 seconds and then slept through.

Her nap was exactly the same, and she has completely stopped asking for the dummy at all. So yes it was hell, but now we are on the other side of it I'm really pleased we stuck with it!! Just keep telling yourself that this too shall pass!x

 

[hattiehippo]

Tom still has his dummy for bedtime as he is distraught trying to go to sleep without it. Like mum2b_claire I reckon it's not worth the distress of taking it away yet.

He doesn't have it during the day anymore and 2x now he had dozed off in the car without it so there's hope for bedtime when he's ready.

 

[Itsychik]

Been there. Gave the dummy back. The amount of distress she was in was absolutely the greater of two evils compared to her having a dummy.

Sorry, not much help.

This is actually what we're thinking of doing now Everyone I've talked to assured us it only took their LO's 3 - 4 days of fighting it for their toddlers to move on, but 10 days later and not any sight of the anger lessening, we're thinking of just giving it back to him and trying again when he's older and maybe better able to understand.

But on the other hand, we think, it's already been 10 days... should we just stick with it?

But then again, I hear of people taking MONTHS for their toddlers to move on and I just can't imagine that!

*sigh* Just don't know what to do!

 

[hattiehippo]

Personally I'd give it back if it's still that bad after 10 days and it's just for bedtime. He's only just 2 and you can try again when he's older.

We tried the dummy fairy bringing a present for the dummies at 2.5 - it lasted 2 days, lots of screaming and tantrums and then Tom gave me the present back and said he wanted his dummy more. We tried again a yr later and it has been much easier and apart from bedtimes the dummy is gone in the day.

 

[ronnie1234]

My LO has for sleep in cot, bedtime & nap. She will fall asleep fine in car / buggy so can sleep without it.

I want rid really too, but am scared! Unsure whether to start cutting tips (she has 4 in crib) or dummy fairy.

She will ask grandparents for it too I've had a word & don't think she has it as often as she used to with them

 

[Itsychik]

So DH and I talked about it and decided that if DS continued to be hysterical when we bring him to bed, we'd give him back the pacifier and see if it helped. Last night I was gone and DH brought DS to bed on his own. After DS started screaming (right after being put in his crib) DH gave him the pacifier but said DS wasn't really interested in it. He held it in his hand and fell asleep as DH rubbed his back...

SO, now I'm worried that we've totally ruined bedtime and nothing is going to get DS to go to sleep calmly!

We'll see how the next few nights go... hopefully he'll be satisfied just to hold the pacifier and fall into a routine again!

Thanks everyone for all of your input!