General chatter while we wait (and commentary on the "pull out method")

[RedRose19]

this is the first time ive used this thread for its intended purposes but dh and i have decided to try the pull out method even though we know its super risky .. but dh doesnt seem great at his timing and now im like well crap.. im 6 weeks pp now and heard you can be super fertile around that time. i took a opk just incase and it as not positive but was dark so who knows. last pregnancy i got pregnant first cycle we tried. overall im undecided if i deffo want another, before willow i would of said no i was content.. but i think my hormones are super messed up after being separated for 3 weeks. and i feel i was robbed from what should of been the perfect last pregnancy and baby. but i know having more isnt the answer for that specifically.
i guess if it happens i wouldnt be upset , but id question everything because i still dont know how willow got the brain injury. i worry its my fault or my bodys fault. the idea of another baby/child tho doesnt upset me. i just think i should get healthier and fitter first. with pcos though its unpredictable
willow is doing well though, so far shes acting like a normal baby so time will tell

 

[autumnal]

@RedRose19 I'm sure that you did nothing that caused Willow's issues, how could it possibly be your fault! It's just one of those things.. can definitely relate to your feelings, my 3rd was going to be our last but then I had to have a c section with him and could only breastfeed him for a month because he had extreme protein intolerance.. it felt like it wasn't a good way to end things. If you go ahead make sure you're taking vitamins because you probably haven't recovered your minerals yet though!

 

[gigglebox]

this is the first time ive used this thread for its intended purposes but dh and i have decided to try the pull out method even though we know its super risky .. but dh doesnt seem great at his timing and now im like well crap.. im 6 weeks pp now and heard you can be super fertile around that time. i took a opk just incase and it as not positive but was dark so who knows. last pregnancy i got pregnant first cycle we tried. overall im undecided if i deffo want another, before willow i would of said no i was content.. but i think my hormones are super messed up after being separated for 3 weeks. and i feel i was robbed from what should of been the perfect last pregnancy and baby. but i know having more isnt the answer for that specifically.
i guess if it happens i wouldnt be upset , but id question everything because i still dont know how willow got the brain injury. i worry its my fault or my bodys fault. the idea of another baby/child tho doesnt upset me. i just think i should get healthier and fitter first. with pcos though its unpredictable
willow is doing well though, so far shes acting like a normal baby so time will tell

We’ll see if the decision is made for you definitely don’t blame yourself for the trauma oh my goodness!! Sometimes we just simply can’t control what happens. I briefly walked down that same thought process about my overactive uterus before I slapped some sense into myself. We can hold our breath, and close our eyes, and move our limbs. The whole uterus thing and all that goes on in there? Total not ours to decide.

Ok I’ll get off my soapbox now ^_^

We’re still in NICU, no closer to knowing what IS happening, but we know some things that are NOT happening…good news is no brain issues, and no structural issues of his nose or throat. The care team should be meeting tomorrow and then we’ll hopefully have a game plan.

 

[shaescott]

Gigs I’m glad there’s no brain or structural issues. Hopefully either they’ll figure something out that is very treatable, or he’ll just get better on his own.

 

[RedRose19]

@RedRose19 I'm sure that you did nothing that caused Willow's issues, how could it possibly be your fault! It's just one of those things.. can definitely relate to your feelings, my 3rd was going to be our last but then I had to have a c section with him and could only breastfeed him for a month because he had extreme protein intolerance.. it felt like it wasn't a good way to end things. If you go ahead make sure you're taking vitamins because you probably haven't recovered your minerals yet though!

i just have so many what if moments, if i had gotten on the be sooner maybe the waters wouldnt of gone so violently , if i hadnt pushed for the induction 2 days sooner and just left it go until the friday so many thhings. i also keep thinking if i was to have one more should i opt for a c section after the birth. it was abit traumatic. i know its weird thinking these things when i just had a baby but its like ptsd or something making me run through all scenarios for the future

 

[autumnal]

The doctor ultimately is the one who decides if the induction date is acceptable, and whether you should have a C-section and all of that stuff, im sure if there was anything inherently dangerous about your choices the doctor would have said no. It's just bad luck

 

[gigglebox]

I don’t feel like reliving/retelling everything right now but just wanted to let y’all know we’re home I’m very relieved to be out of that place. This has been traumatic to say the least!

Now I’m just sorting through the big emotions I’ve had this whole time about how much life is changing with this new addition. I’m having a hard time. But I also know we’ve only had him home a day and things will sort themselves out.

Also holy crap I can’t wait for my hormones to even out so I can be in a better mental state. Everything makes me bawl.

 

[gigglebox]

Rose are you still thinking pregnancy is on the table? Are you going to test?

 

[RedRose19]

Rose are you still thinking pregnancy is on the table? Are you going to test?

i tested yesterday and had a faint line but it could be left over hcg, will test again tomorrow

 

[RedRose19]

I don’t feel like reliving/retelling everything right now but just wanted to let y’all know we’re home I’m very relieved to be out of that place. This has been traumatic to say the least!

Now I’m just sorting through the big emotions I’ve had this whole time about how much life is changing with this new addition. I’m having a hard time. But I also know we’ve only had him home a day and things will sort themselves out.

Also holy crap I can’t wait for my hormones to even out so I can be in a better mental state. Everything makes me bawl.

glad your home, and i understand not wanting to relive it, i was like that it took me ages to post that willow was even in the nicu , glad your home. that first day i was home i kept crying and i felt so out of sorts and overwhelmed. it got better over time

 

[autumnal]

Glad you're home Gigs! I hope you can rest better now that babe is home with you and start bonding more

Afm I'm pregnant I'm 4+2 today

 

[Jules8]

@gigglebox I’m glad to hear you’re home! Praying for healing both mental and physical, that’s a lot to process so take your time.
@RedRose I see the line, but couldn’t either way. The only way to know is to keep testing to see if it gets darker.
@autumnal Congratulations!
AFM: 35+2. My BP was better this week, thank goodness. I’ve been very tired and need some motivation to get things ready….I’m hoping I can at least pack bags this weekend so that’s at least ready. I have NSTs on Mondays and ultrasounds on Wednesdays. My mfm confirmed I’m being induced at 37 weeks so I should get the induction date next week!

 

[shaescott]

i tested yesterday and had a faint line but it could be left over hcg, will test again tomorrow

View attachment 1120123

Oh boy, how many weeks postpartum are you?

 

[RedRose19]

Oh boy, how many weeks postpartum are you?

6 weeks pp

 

[autumnal]

@Jules8 glad your blood pressure is better!! Wow you're so close to being done now!!

 

[shaescott]

@RedRose19 where’s that repeat test

 

[RedRose19]

the bottom test was yesterdays, i wasnt sure if its darker or not. but i cant get any more frer until tuesday now so just gonna wait and see, im cramping alot so not sure what is happening

 

[gigglebox]

Omg rose! How are you feeling? It looks darker to me but only just…..

Autumnal huge congratulations!!!! I was following you in the other thread but haven’t checked over there in days. That’s so exciting!

Jules wow you’re close to the end, even moreso now! Is the early induction to beat possible preeclampsia?

 

[shaescott]

the bottom test was yesterdays, i wasnt sure if its darker or not. but i cant get any more frer until tuesday now so just gonna wait and see, im cramping alot so not sure what is happening

View attachment 1120126

I think it looks a little darker! Maybe you should call your OB to get bloodwork done to see if levels are rising or falling?

 

[Jezika]

Oh my gosh Gigs, congrats! Baby Finn is perfect! I’m so sorry about the NICU stay, though glad you’re all home now. How have you settled in? How are the other boys doing with the new arrival? I hear ya on the mental health front. The first few weeks were absolutely brutal. Just know that every day that passes gets you closer to the time where it will lift and you’ll start feeling normal again.