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Discussion in 'Gender Disappointment' started by Wobbles, Mar 30, 2012.
well whoever came up with this forum title is a very smart and considering person.
thank you for this forum ,ive felt so guilty for not wanting a little girl ,my DH already has two daughters they're 4/5 . everyone i know always ask me when I'm going to have a little girl and question me if i wouldn't want a "little me" and honestly i don't , i really don't see myself having a little girl. i feel so bad because i really want to have another baby but ive been on birth control because I'm scared that if it is a girl ill be disappointed and have trouble bonding with her. when ever my DH and i talk about having another i always say "our boys" or "our sons" . i dont know maybe this feeling will go away once i get the birth control taken out . i know this post has been quite for sometime now ,has anyone had a gender disappointment ? (gosh feel terrible saying it that way) but if so how did you cope ?
I had it with my 2nd daughter. I found out at the anatomy scan so I could come to terms with another girl. It was more grieving not having a boy rather than upset with having a girl as DH wasn't sure about a 3rd. When she was born there was no disappointment whatsoever and she is my sweet, cuddly bug. I couldn't imagine not having her any other way. Due with our 3rd now that is also a girl but didn't have any gender disappointment this time. I never dreamed to be an all girl mom but I feel I'm blessed.
Also, it's absolutely normal to experience gender disappointment. I know some people will tear you down thinking you are awful to feel it and should just be happy to have a baby, but it's normal to grieve a lost dream for your life.