Went to hospital today

[Nikkinoonoo]

I received a phone call last night from Ealing hospital asking me if I still wanted the meeting I requested with my antenatal staff to discuss my care whilst I was there. It was today at 1pm.
I went in and told them I needed to know why no scans picked up Jessica's deformities to which they said everything I expected, no scan is 100%, things can be missed, I'm overweight making it harder to see baby, blah blah blah. I then launched into a list of other poor care I got when I was there I had about 17 points written on a notepad.
I basically ended up in tears, sobbing about how after my birth I wanted my family around me but they made me stay there from the fri-tues waiting for my bedsores to be dressed etc.
They said that they are going to refer me to a lady there who seems to be like a therapist who specialises in ladies who have had difficult/traumatic births.
Now I think this is great but I'm not sure it's for me. I'm not great at talking about things that hurt, When I lost my mum in 93 I never spoke to anyone, I am a relatively private person who bottles things up. I'm also scared they will think I'm doolally or something. I know any stigma with regards to therapists doesn't happen nowadays but in the back of my mind I think what if they think I'm screwed up and unable to care for my Jess or something?

 

[x-amy-x]

I think they have gone the wrong way about it. You don't need counselling, you need a bloody apology!

 

[Vickie]

Agree

 

[princess_bump]

i agree with amy honey, you need an apology YOU are a wonderful mummy to your beautiful jessie, and imo the hospital is at fault. it is good to talk, but i always find it better to talk to someone i trust, i wouldn't like talking to the hospital that is at fault sweetie sending huge for you x x x

 

[Nikkinoonoo]

The plus side of this meeting was that they have changed the fact that they make people more aware (especially overweight ones) that these scans are not 100% reliable. Once I had finished my list they both apologised for the way I was treated and said some of their practises will be reviewed. Some of them are the fact I got bedsores from not being moved and the fact we had to pay £14 per day car parking. So at least some good will come out of this perhaps for future pregnant ladies.

 

[princess_bump]

sweetie you are one of the most amazing women and mummy i no, still thinking of others, thats so positive x x x

 

[Nikkinoonoo]

sweetie you are one of the most amazing women and mummy i no, still thinking of others, thats so positive x x x

 

[reallytinyamy]

 

[LaDY]

xx

 

[clairebear]

Wheres ur apology like amy said i think they got that wrong.

Your an amazing mummy nikki afterall u went through you are still thinking of others

hope u get the answers eventually x

 

[nikky0907]

Jessi couldn't have been more lucky having you as her mom...This hospital seriously owes you a huge apology!

 

[sonny]

Still not enough for what you went through hun. I had the same lame ass excuses when i went for my appointment and they said....we are only human and can miss things..........only the 5th midwife said she was breech and midwife all way through missed the GD even though sugar was found etc.
As for the care in the hospital it was pitiful. C-section and me having to find midwives to ask for my drugs! and not letting me pump until 5 days etc etc b;lah blah
Bollocks to the lot of them and take you case further hun. You can ask for all your notes and i would do sooner than later as they "lost" 2 of the most important pages of mine! The main midwife through my pregnancy has been disciplined but the excuses are unreal!
You are one great mummy just rememebr that. As for the counselling etc,you could try one session and maybe see if its for you
I know when i talk to family etc about it i cry instantly but im not sure if thats a good thing of a bad thing as it just keeps dragging it all back up
Big hugs hun xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx