What age do MEN start wanting kids??

[youngone]

In your experience (from friends, partners, brothers etc) what age do men start actively wanting children? as in thinking, talking planning or just agreeing to starting a family.

I'm extremely curious- because I know women would likely be a lot younger when they want them- but I always got the feeling that men sort of 'wait till the last minute', or even just wait till it happens (unplanned) and its out of their control Most men i've known don't even start thinking about it until their 30's.

I know many women who want to be youngish mums (21-26yrs) but no men except my OH. He's 22, and he wants one in the next few years- he'd let me start now if I wanted, but I feel like he is the exception??? (or is it that it isn't socially acceptable for men to admit they want to be young dads, so you don't hear about them?)

What age would your OH's have liked to start a family? (say for arguments sake that you were in the perfect situation, therefore not hindered by your circumstances)



...would just be interesting to know- your input is appreciated

 

[tori0713]

My husband was 23 when we finally decided it was the right time. At that point, I chose to wait a little longer than he wants to, because he is completing his active duty military service leaving us without jobs and insurance and whatnot, not to mention a move. I had been ready at 21 when we got married. We will probably be 24 or 25 when we have our first.

 

[youngone]

My husband was 23 when we finally decided it was the right time. At that point, I chose to wait a little longer than he wants to, because he is completing his active duty military service leaving us without jobs and insurance and whatnot, not to mention a move. I had been ready at 21 when we got married. We will probably be 24 or 25 when we have our first.

Thats good then! I guess my OH is not so strange after all. I wondered if he really did want one or if he was saying that to make me happy and connect with me- because I couldn't believe at 22 he would be so willing.

Thanks a lot of your reply

 

[Noodlebear]

When Rob and I originally talked about this he said he didn't want any til he was 30, I didn't want to start my family that late so was always a bit of a taboo subject in our house! But our little surprise came along 6 yrs early which was actually a few years too early for me too! But obviously now we couldn't be happier with our little man x

 

[bumpin2012]

My dh was very young, he wanted babies in his early 20's. Since I had to finish school, it gave him a few years, then he strangely decided he didn't want them at all! Obviously he changed guys mind again...Lol I think it varies from person to person, depending in how they "see" their family.

 

[emmalovesnick]

My boyfriend has told me that he wants to wait until next year when we have our own flat and we have qualified in our college, the case with me is that I would like to try now, and I know I am only 23 in September but I would rather start trying now while I'm young than later in life as I start to get older. Feel free to give me some advice ladies.

 

[Pearls18]

It depends I guess!! In my experience men don't tend to think about it much before hand. DS was unplanned but DH was very excited, beforehand he didn't even like talking about it, I can't imagine how long it would have taken if we had to actively choose when to TTC#1!

 

[brenn09]

He wanted to start a year ago, so about 6 months before he turned 26. He also knew it would be awhile yet so honestly I don't think he was really ready until these last couple of months- so age 26/27 for my OH.

 

[wishuwerehere]

My OH wanted mid to late 20s. He's just turned 28 so hopefully he'll be 29 when we have our lo (my daughter isn't his bio daughter)
However, his brother had his first baby (she was planned!) at 21 so it varies massively

 

[taybear]

My OH wants to wait until after we're married (which I do too, though he doesn't want to marry until he is 30!) so I guess probably 30 or so.

 

[melfy77]

DH wanted to have kids in his early 20`s. He became a dad at 22 (2 days before his 23rd birthday) and is really happy about it. I`m older though (27), so I was totally ready

 

[Elpis_x]

Mine has actively started wanting them recently (as in, he has said he is actually broody too and would want to TTC now if it wasn't for our situation), he's 22. But he has always said that he's wanted kids and has always said he wants to be a young dad.

 

[Cryssie]

Mine was ready but not a 100% ready if that makes sense at 23. We were 24 when we had our son. And now we'll be 26 ttc again.

 

[chazzmatazz]

My OH is 26 nearly 27 and really wants to start trying however I think he has only really been into it for the last year and a half so I would say he was ready at about 25

 

[Rachie004]

My OH is 39 and I'm not sure he's actually broody yet lol. He talks about us having babies and 'when' it happens rather than 'if' but I don't think he has the sense of urgency about it that I do

 

[Mies]

My DH told me he was actually ready for children mid 2012 (he was 28, almost 29) even though I felt ready earlier (at 26).

He always felt life 'as he knew it' would be 'over' once we'd start having children. Besides, there were also housing and financial issues that had to be resolved beforehand.

Now we're nearly there! Yay!

 

[queenBEE007]

I don't think there's a specific or right age a man would like to have children.. I've known young men in their early 20's that are better fathers than older man in their late 30's.. I think it depends on their stability of a job, home & some what of a financial security for them. In my opinion I think late 20's, early 30's they seem some what ready to settle down & have a home to come home to :]

 

[Mrs Dragonfly]

It's interesting, of all my friends who have kids the dad's weren't ready until the baby was there. OH on the other hand is 24, and he's ready for us to start trying for our first in our wedding month!

 

[youngone]

its very funny that us women have a different age we think our OH's are 'ready' to what then they tell us they are. I fully understand this though- my OH thinks he's ready and I appreciate that BUT, not to sound condescending- I know he isn't. He has NO idea whatsoever of the gravity of parenthood. He has no idea of the financial implications, the lack of sleep or the strain it will put on our relationship- he also has no idea that he's terrible at dealing with conflict which would be an issue...

But this is because he's never even really held a baby or looked after a child or ever had his sleep disturbed so he is really only going on whats he imagines it to be- which can be quite fantastical- which I fully understand because I get like that too- only; I can see both sides of the coin.

He's 22 now- but honestly I think i'll be years till' he will be ready. Its hard for men I think- because often they don't have much real experience with kids or in depth education of the complexities of parenthood- like we get on this site. It's not their fault though

 

[Mrs Dragonfly]

its very funny that us women have a different age we think our OH's are 'ready' to what then they tell us they are. I fully understand this though- my OH thinks he's ready and I appreciate that BUT, not to sound condescending- I know he isn't. He has NO idea whatsoever of the gravity of parenthood. He has no idea of the financial implications, the lack of sleep or the strain it will put on our relationship- he also has no idea that he's terrible at dealing with conflict which would be an issue...

But this is because he's never even really held a baby or looked after a child or ever had his sleep disturbed so he is really only going on whats he imagines it to be- which can be quite fantastical- which I fully understand because I get like that too- only; I can see both sides of the coin.

He's 22 now- but honestly I think i'll be years till' he will be ready. Its hard for men I think- because often they don't have much real experience with kids or in depth education of the complexities of parenthood- like we get on this site. It's not their fault though

This is a great way to put it. My OH says he's ready, and I know when the time comes he'll do it with pride but he's more ready for a toddler/young child rather than a newborn hehe