What am I suppose to do? =(

[Audball2108]

OK, so my mom said that she got a call from the judge or something that said that Ryan wanted to see me. I was obviously surprised, because the last time I'd talked to him he said he hated my guts.

So I agreed to see him in jail. I went yesterday, and when I got there, he didn't say anything for a while. He just stared at me. Finally he said "Audrey...I'm sorry."

It took me by surprise. I never thought I would hear those words from him. I was speechless...and so relieved that he finally stepped up to the plate and apologized.
We talked for a long time. About life, how I am going out with Michael now, and about Aurora. I felt happy that Ryan was finally becoming a little more mature.

Soon it was time for me to leave. I got up, but Ryan asked me something. I said yes, and he asked me if I could tell him when I am in labor. I agreed. And then he asked me if, after Aurora is born, he could see her in person.

That caught me off guard. I just said "I'll think about it." and then I left.

What am I suppose to do? Even though it seems like he's changed, I can't get those horrible memories and images of him forcing himself on me out of my head. It makes me afraid for my daughter. Should I let him see her? I don't know what to do.

 

[newbie]

Didn't want to read and run
Not quite sure what to say.

It's up to you to decide. It sounds like you need time to think about this, and to see whether he has really changed.

Hope you work it out, just remember that you're her mum, so whatever decision you make will be the right one.

 

[gumb69]

didn't want to r & r hun.
i don't have anything to say other than trust your own instincts, they are better than anyone's advice or opinions xxx

 

[Pixxie]

I would be sceptical, but follow your instincts hun xxx

 

[gemabee]

i don't know the full story hun so wouldn't want to comment... but if u want to talk feel free to pm me.
i hope u figure things out xxx

 

[sherple]

Didnt want to read and run, but again dont know the full story so cant give an honest opinion.
like the others say, trust your instincts.

 

[Mrs Liamxxs]

sounds like your in a real pickle hun, only thing i can advice is the same as the other girls, trust your own instincs xx

 

[Irish Baby]

whats he locked up for?? forcing himself on you????

 

[QueSeraSera]

i am also not aware of the whole story but i think that you should trust your instincts. i have a brother who has been in and out of jail several times for drug related crimes. after a long stint in he always has the best spologies and kindest words to say. i have found, in my experience, that i always want to believe him even if something inside is telling me not to and i usually let myself believe hes changed...but then i usually end up disappointed. he has just gotten out again and we are all waiting to see if this sentence and rehab will take. maybe im pesimistic due to previous experiences, but usually what your heart says is what you should follow. heres wishing you the best with your situation!

 

[babyskeer2]

OK, so my mom said that she got a call from the judge or something that said that Ryan wanted to see me. I was obviously surprised, because the last time I'd talked to him he said he hated my guts.

So I agreed to see him in jail. I went yesterday, and when I got there, he didn't say anything for a while. He just stared at me. Finally he said "Audrey...I'm sorry."

It took me by surprise. I never thought I would hear those words from him. I was speechless...and so relieved that he finally stepped up to the plate and apologized.
We talked for a long time. About life, how I am going out with Michael now, and about Aurora. I felt happy that Ryan was finally becoming a little more mature.

Soon it was time for me to leave. I got up, but Ryan asked me something. I said yes, and he asked me if I could tell him when I am in labor. I agreed. And then he asked me if, after Aurora is born, he could see her in person.

That caught me off guard. I just said "I'll think about it." and then I left.

What am I suppose to do? Even though it seems like he's changed, I can't get those horrible memories and images of him forcing himself on me out of my head. It makes me afraid for my daughter. Should I let him see her? I don't know what to do.

Apologising is one thing and yes its a step in the right direction. If you have any doubts or feel uncomfortable, and afraid for your daughter then the obvious answer is to stay well clear!

I dont know your history together and and its certainly not my place to judge, but if it was to me and there was a chance that I could end up regreting letting him into my daughters life and again back into your own I wouldnt take the risk!

You must be a very strong women to be dealing with something like this, you are responsible for two now and as long as you and your daughter are both safe thats all that matters.

Good luck with your decision and future, my thoughts are with you x

 

[Audball2108]

Thank you guys. The reason Ryan is in jail is because he raped me multiple times while we were dating, and now I'm pregnant with his daughter.

It seems like he's changed but I don't know. I guess when the time comes I'll know the answer....right?

 

[Irish Baby]

ohhhh jezz.... sorry for askin, bein nosey you poor thing... if it were me i'd run and keep running, that is unforgiveable in my opinion, you have yourself an your little baby to think of now, that would always be at the back of your mind, you deserve so much better hun....xxx

 

[FLU77ERBYE]

I couldnt read and run, I dont have any advice hun just some hugs Im sorry you have had to go through this xxxx

 

[gemalems]

Personally i wouldn't let him but it's personal choice at the end of the day

 

[happigail]

don't believe him. He is not worth the risk. Your child deserves better. X

 

[MrsJ08]

I'm sorry you had such a terrible and traumatic experience.

My honest opinion is that you are a victim and for your own mental well-being you should have absolutely nothing to do with this man. When he raped you, he forfeited his parental right's and I'm sure that any sane person would say that you should stay the hell away from him. I am very surprised that you went to see him in prison but I understand that some victim's get closure from confronting their attacker. Are you receiving any counselling for your trauma you have suffered? I think that if possible you should discuss this situation with a professional. I honestly don't believe that men who are prosecuted for sexual crimes are rehabilitated that easily. It is great that he apologised to you but don't forget that he probably did so as part of his own therapy, which is designed to help him rather than you. I hope that you are receiving lot's of support from your family and friend's and that you have a very happy life with your little girl x

 

[gemalems]

Wss ^^^^^^

 

[twiggy56]

honestly, my instincts SCREAM out at me to protect abigail from even the smallest of colds....so I can imagine how i'd feel about this particular situation...that said,


when she is here, tiny, precious, and in your arms...you'l know what to do

Im sorry for what he did to you, no one should have to live with the images of that

 

[Second Chance]

I just thought I would throw my two cents in, I agree with twiggy that when you see her you'll know the right decision to make, but in my opinion I would say no, its one thing to talk to you and apologize but if he was willing to do that to you, when you are with him... More than once who knows what he would be willing to do to your daughter! He obviously has restraint issues, So i would say do what is best for your daughter and tell him no, he may be her doner, but he doesnt deserve to be her father!

 

[Audball2108]

Thank you guys. I have been in therapy for a while because of this, and based on what you all said, I don't think I'm going to let him see my daughter for a loooong time, if ever. I may send pictures, but that's the closest he'll get to my baby.