What are you doing differently this time?

[hollyw79]

Or are you not doing anything differently?? I just had a d&c a week ago today and I am hoping to start back into the TTC mode in another couple of weeks. I was almost in tears last night thinking of things that "might" have caused the m/c .. was it because I was still exercising even though lightly? should I have only stuck to walking? was it because I still had one cup of coffee in the morning even though I cut out the 5 I did used to drink? was it because I ate caesar dressing because I didn't know that was bad? was it food poisoning? (I got SUPER sick after a baby shower the previous weekend and so did some other people- was THAT part of the problem?)

I am NOT trying to dwell on the past- it's more of a "what can I do to avoid this in the future" type of situation.

So just curious- what changes are you/will you be making after this??

 

[wannabe mam]

Hi hun,
So sorry for your loss. Dont torture yourself, this was nothing to do with anything you did. I did the same thing after my loss last March wondering should I have gone to the gym or was it down to when I had a drink before I knew I was pregnant.
Until recently I did nothing different but now I take fertility plus vitamins, I always drank de-daf tea before ttc anyway.
Good luck hun xxx

 

[fides]

yes, please don't torture yourself. it was not your fault. so sorry you're going through this.

 

[wannabe mam]

Meant de-caf tea not de-daf! Doh!

 

[pandamonkey]

Sorry for your loss. Its not your fault and don't torture yourself. I had a natural mc back in November. I did the same and still think whether its this or that. Look forward to the future. I'm now pregnant again after one cycle.

 

[NatashaZ]

HollyW, I am in the same situation as you. I am wondering the same things. From what I understand, though, MCs are rarely "caused"... they happen due to genetic abnormalities in the baby, or things like trauma. I know it is hard to stop trying to find reasons behind what happened, justify something that hurts you so bad, but trust me it won't do any good.

It sounds like you were living a healthy life and I truly am sorry for your loss. And I understand because I had the same thing happen to me, except it was at 9 weeks. I hope my OH and I can start trying again as soon as this month, although I kind of want to pause for a cycle to get my emotions in order.

I wish you the best of luck hun.

 

[msdecember]

yeah, don't drive yourself crazy as you will never really know what caused it. i refuse to think it was anything other than chromosomal as it was so very early and the embryo didn't even begin to form. not downplaying your loss at all but it won't do you any good to think like that. just try to stay positive and know that you are going to get that healthy, beautiful baby sooner than later.

 

[NatashaZ]

I agree with msdecember, I think staying positive is important for you and your future family I know it is hard. I struggle with it every day because sometimes the sadness is so strong but it will get better. Stay strong sweetie.