What are your thoughts on this?

[Fergie]

My OH and i actually had a major barney at the weekend about something the same. He wanted to get his mum down to "take the kids" so i could have some time to do the housework and that. I would prefer it if she did the housework and i could spend more time with MY kids. I'd never have a nanny do sports days and that, i would have a cleaner though .

 

[bananaz]

I would be offended by this but the article was so ridiculous that all I can do is laugh. Clearly it was written to rile people up and it did a pretty good job at it. It feels like something out of The Onion!

Anyway, if this lady really lives like that and it works for her family then kudos to her. Clearly she and I have very different views on parenting. Though to play devil's advocate, from an evolutionary biology perspective she may be employing a far smarter reproductive strategy than I am

 

[mellyboo]

Ive never heard about her before either LOL!

 

[beth_terri]

I've not read it all but my god! Does she spend any time with her kids?? I'd love to have a busy well paid job or run my own business and provide well for my kids but I wouldn't wanna miss things like sports day!

Strange woman :/

 

[lindseymw]

Wonder if she hired a surrogate as well so she didn't have to take time out of work to give birth?

Quite frankly, I feel sorry for her kids.

I work but when it gets to the time of sports days etc, I will be putting in annual leave so I make sure I go. I don't like the idea of just grandparents going, nevermind an employee?!

 

[susannah14]

banned for what? it's an honest curiousity and it's pretty evident I don't agree being that I gave up my job to take care of my LO

Oh hun I didn't mean you, I meant the author of the article

If a mom came on here and posted "I have 3 kids and employ 10 nannies and never spend a second of my day with my children and I don't see anything wrong with this" , Wobbles would lock the thread for flaming. It's no different, this woman is just doing it in a newspaper, so unfortunately nobody can shut her down.

 

[kissesandhugs]

Hell yes I'd hire a gardener, repair man, maid, cook, driver,personal assistant. But I would NEVER hire someone to take care of my kids IF I am fully capable of doing it myself. Obviously, I have to work so hiring a babysitter/daycare is a different story. But if I had money to afford all of that SURELY I'd have money to stay home with my kids. And the only reason I'd hire someone to do all of the other jobs is so I had more TIME to spend with my kids!!

 

[zanDark]

so basically her version of being a mother = not being a mom at all...just pop them out so she can say she has kids, but have other people raise them.

the world is full of idiots

 

[superfrizbee]

I feel so sorry for those poor children with a "mother" like that.

 

[socitycourty]

banned for what? it's an honest curiousity and it's pretty evident I don't agree being that I gave up my job to take care of my LO

Oh hun I didn't mean you, I meant the author of the article

If a mom came on here and posted "I have 3 kids and employ 10 nannies and never spend a second of my day with my children and I don't see anything wrong with this" , Wobbles would lock the thread for flaming. It's no different, this woman is just doing it in a newspaper, so unfortunately nobody can shut her down.

I get it

I was just like OMG, why me LOL

 

[jenniferttc1]

Now I find it boring at home sometimes, but this crazy woman takes it 10 steps higher I would never find something boring as cheering my children on, or any part of their life. What I find boring right now is just the everyday routine that I have I would really miss being home with him, and not feel right anyone watching him. My husband wouldn't allow it anyway!

 

[socitycourty]

I would admit that being a SAHM with babies can be a bit monotonous. Just because it's diapers, feed, diapers, feed, etc. for a long time. but when they start doing things, it's so much fun regardless of whether you stay home or not. lots of working parents go to sports and recitals, etc.

I just don't know why she would have 3 kids! she seems like the type who would just want one kid

 

[Tittie]

I’ve rarely been to a sports day, carol concert or any of the other ‘can’t miss’ events that seem to make up most mothers’ social calendars.

Instead, I pay for a replacement to attend, a ‘stand-in’ mummy if you will. I rejoice that I am able to employ an army of staff — ten members and counting — to do all the boring, mundane chores that I’m too busy for.


And even if I wasn’t, quite frankly, I’d find something productive to do rather than engage in all the amorphous domesticity that being a mother seems to involve.

I love my children and my home, but I get the most pleasure from work. So I outsource as much childcare and domestic grind as I possibly can.

Our way of life makes so much sense. Yet other women refuse to see it.


They seem to fall into two camps. They’re either career women whingeing that they are run ragged because their husbands don’t pull their weight around the house. Or they’re stay-at-home mums, boasting that no one can run a home or look after their children as well as they can.

This woman should have never had kids. I really don't understand why she ever did. What does she do with her children?

I've never heard of her before and I hope I never hear of her again. lol.

 

[Sarahkka]

I know she's pretty much a professional troll, paid by a trashy tabloid to write incendiary BS to raise page hits and generate interest in their rag, but something she said kind of broke my heart.
I used to run an artists in residency program, in which I would take a team of theatre artists into a school and we would have five days to create something wonderful to perform for friends and family. One of the schools was in an area with a higher level of socio-economic disadvantages and I had this one little boy who just wasn't buying my program. I worked hard with him and he turned out to be full of strong opinions and subsequently created a fanstastic character and performance that he contributed to his class scene.
The day of the performance he totally lost his 12-year old cool and was almost incoherent as he grabbed my arm and pointed at the families entering the gym for the performance. I finally made out "She came!! She came!! My Mom's here!" and was kind of surprised that he was so emotional about it.
The principal of the school had overheard and pulled me aside to tell me that it was the first time his mum had ever attended anything at their school. She was a single, poor, working class mom and never had the time off work. This time, because of his insistence and luckily becuase of her schedule, I guess, she was there and he was over the moon.
I am the last person to guilt another parent about what their own personal work/life balance is, but I carry that lesson with me when I go about creating mine: it MATTERS that we are there for events and performances and tournaments and all sorts of events in our childrens' worlds. There is nothing wrong with sending a beloved substitute when we can't be there, but the callous way in which the author confirms that her work is more important really made think of that woman who finally had the opportunity of being able to be there for her son and the affect it had on him. What a contrast to the glib, privileged, entitled author of this article.
We all find our own path through parenting and working, but I think most of us (and I mean both mothers and fathers here) would have the genuine response of bewilderment at the opinions expressed here: most of us do feel a bit of a tug when we can't be there for a special occasion. We don't rejoice in the fact that we get to do our own projects instead.

 

[sue_88]

I don't agree with her at all because she's an ass but the principles around the article make some sense to me.

I already hire someone to clean my house, and am I prepared to give up my career for a baby? No, absolutely not.

Millie will have to be at nursery 8am-6pm when i return to work next year and she'll also have to attend after school clubs when she starts school, but what I would do is structure any working hours around those important events like sports days / concerts because I'd want to be there.

 

[Natsku]

Don't know why she even had kids in the first place. Feel so sorry for them.

 

[Tiff]

It definitely matters to be there for events. I'm going to be completely honest, please don't throw me under the bus

Lately as a break for me my Mom has been picking up our kiddo and driving her to preschool (2.5 hours on Tuesday and Thursday afternoons). Our city's transit system is awful and it'd take me an hour and a half to get to her preschool on a bus when its literally a 15 min drive away.

Anyways, I love those breaks knowing that Claire is being cared for, stimulated, playing with friends and learning things. Guilt free "me" time I guess. Anyways, they were doing a Mother's Day tea for the moms yesterday. This meant that instead of being at home and enjoying some child free time to get a bunch of stuff done around the house, I'd be killing 2 hours at her school sitting in a small, cramped 2 way mirror room until it was time for the tea.

I sound horrible, don't I?

So I went, waited. It was beyond boring. I do like downtime, but being cooped up in this small room isn't exactly my idea of a good time. Honestly, if I had a way to get someone to do that for me I probably would have.

BUT: Then it was time for the tea. Claire had made me a necklace and was so excited to show me to the spot at the table for just to two of us. She adored having apple juice in fancy porcelain tea cups and eating strawberries and other fresh fruits. Then she gave me the gift that they worked on today (hand made card and photo frame) and was SO proud of herself.

And that's when it really hit me how selfish I was being for begrudging the fact that I had to "waste" two hours waiting for this. I felt like such an awful parent, even though I didn't fault Claire for anything... I feel like I was far too caught up in everything else that I forgot that I really do just need to enjoy this time... as frustrating and irritating that kiddos can be at times.

I feel sad that the lady in this article doesn't seem to care about those sorts of things. I hope that one day she realizes that okay, yes, maybe every single event might be a bit too much for her schedule with 3 kids. But that she'll have those moments where she's proud of her kiddos.

I also don't agree that its either women working and whining about their hubby's slacking off OR you are a SAHM who is a do it all mentality.

 

[steph.]

Theres nothing wrong with a little help but not someone to replace the parents. I have given up my career for the time being to be a sahm. I worked really hard to get through medical school and its kind of sad to see everyone i graduated with getting so far ahead, but bringing up my children is more important. Once they are old enough i'll go back part time, its only a few years out of my life. I am 27, even if i start working again at 30, i'll still have 30 years before retirement.

I must admit staying home does have its moments, in the past 16 months there have been a couple of occasions where i've turned to my dd and said "Sweetie stay here, mummy has to go into the other room and scream into a pillow" but overall I love it and wouldnt miss it for the world. I just wish I had family close by that I could trust to look after her sometimes.

 

[Foogirl]

It's all about balance really. There are days I get home from work and wish I had a nanny to give Abby her dinner and keep her entertained before bedtime. Bedtime would be mine though, I love that half hour with her. And some weekends, it would be nice not to have to spend the whole day trying to keep her busy. (Abby is a full on child). I'll never see her at a sports day and how I wish I could, but I'll be at every concert cheering loudly. Not my idea of mundane at all.

For sure I'd have a cleaner, if I could find one who is good enough (I've tried 4 and they aren't as good as me). And a gardener and a cook. When she goes to school I'll have no choice but to use an after school club. It would be great if she could have a nanny instead of that.

I'd never question her choice to have children, I don't believe it is my place to do that but I am tremendously sad her children's achievements will only ever be seen by a stand in mummy. She is so busy being successful herself, she is missing the successes of her children.

But on a personal note, this woman does make me want to be violent towards her. She is utterly vile and does women no favours in the workplace. Her behaviour on the apprentice was unforgivable and these would be the children she turned down the job she won for? Also, surely the beauty of having your own business is the flexibility to schedule work around your family. She seems to be stuck in the 50s if she thinks it is ok for a man to do the same as she is doing. Has she missed the fact it is far more common for men to play a bigger part in raising a family?

 

[steph.]

It's all about balance really. There are days I get home from work and wish I had a nanny to give Abby her dinner and keep her entertained before bedtime. Bedtime would be mine though, I love that half hour with her. And some weekends, it would be nice not to have to spend the whole day trying to keep her busy. (Abby is a full on child). I'll never see her at a sports day and how I wish I could, but I'll be at every concert cheering loudly. Not my idea of mundane at all.

For sure I'd have a cleaner, if I could find one who is good enough (I've tried 4 and they aren't as good as me). And a gardener and a cook. When she goes to school I'll have no choice but to use an after school club. It would be great if she could have a nanny instead of that.

I'd never question her choice to have children, I don't believe it is my place to do that but I am tremendously sad her children's achievements will only ever be seen by a stand in mummy. She is so busy being successful herself, she is missing the successes of her children.

But on a personal note, this woman does make me want to be violent towards her. She is utterly vile and does women no favours in the workplace. Her behaviour on the apprentice was unforgivable and these would be the children she turned down the job she won for? Also, surely the beauty of having your own business is the flexibility to schedule work around your family. She seems to be stuck in the 50s if she thinks it is ok for a man to do the same as she is doing. Has she missed the fact it is far more common for men to play a bigger part in raising a family?

Completely OT, but seriously whats wrong with these cleaners?!?! I'm on my third and thought he was ok until i moved the couch and found he didnt bother to move any furniture to clean under it. If i can do it being a woman, pregnant, and holding a toddler, why cant he do it! Grrrrr.