What Do I Do??! Access??

[Jade85]

So after being completely emotionally abusive towards me fob is still refusing to apologise. So what do I do??

He lives over an hour away from me and has never looked after LO on his for over an hour. When he used to stay here to see LO he would never night feed, change nappies, get up early etc. He says he's obviously not going to leave him hungry, dirty etc but I don't think that's the point?

What would you do about access? I'd rather have nothing to do with him at all after what he's said to me but I know that's not realistic.

I've said he can't have LO this weeked as it's his birthday and as I look after him 24/7 I want him with me. Do I let him come here to see LO?? Or let him misss out completely??

All I want from him is an apology but I don't think I'm gonna get it. Sorry to go on about this but I don't know what to do

xx

 

[Swift]

Didnt want to read and run but dont have much advice. Hope you get this sorted soon

 

[manda22]

That's a hard call mama. Can you trust him to take care of lo? Also, is there any way you can supervise?

 

[Jade85]

I think I can trust him but its the fact he's gonna be so far away, he's only 1.

I don't think theres a way I can supervise unless he's at mine. Its such a hard situation

xx

 

[manda22]

As for the birthday weekend I'd let him come and see how he is around lo and how lo interacts around him. That's a hard call because since he's so far away and you can't be there immediately I tried to work it out to where he comes to you to see him a couple of hours.

 

[Jade85]

I think thats what I'm gonna do, as much as I don't want to be in the same room as him, I have to do whats best for my LO.

He used to stay all weekend but I can't see that happening anymore. If he's over an hour away from me and won't settle its not he can just bring him back.

Thanks for your advice hun

xx

 

[lilyd]

I would try and arrange for him to come to you but see LO in a contact centre. He needs to learn that it is not acceptable to abuse the mother of his child.

A contact centre will also assess his interaction and ability to care for LO, so it should give you some reassurance for when he has LO by himself.

A (male) friend of mine saw his LO in a contact centre for more than a year, he now has regular vists in his own home and it has not affected his relationship with his LO. The mum is happy as well because all her fears have been addressed.

Good luck, you are owed an apology and he needs to grow up & realise it too x

 

[mskellydenise]

You have to assume that he will NEVER apologize and make your decisions accordingly