What do I do?

Discussion in 'Teen Pregnancy' started by Eeyore17, Oct 12, 2008.

  1. Eeyore17

    Eeyore17 Active Member

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    I recently found out I'm pregnant. And I'm not sure whether to be scared, excited, horrified or what.
    I'm only 17. I graduated school a year early, so I don't have to worry about ruining my education. But, though I've been looking and applying EVERYWHERE, I can't seem to get a job anywhere. Just a few weeks ago, I and my boyfriend of 3 years(off and on) got engaged. Did I mention he's 22, and we haven't told either of our parents about any of this??
    Well, of course, he "doesn't think now is a good time" for a kid, and thinks an abortion is the best most logical way to go. I, though I didn't really want a baby right now, have always told myself that I would NEVER get an abortion. I just don't think I'd be able to live with it. I know, he's said that it's ultimately my choice(and I know it is), and that he'd really end up supporting me either way.....it just seems a hard decision to make...on top of How do I tell my mom???


     
  2. Laura--x

    Laura--x Guest

    First of all, Hi and welcome to BnB :)

    Im 17, 12 weeks pregnant. I found out when i was 5 weeks and i was so scared. I knew straight away i would never ever get rid of my baby, but i still had my doubts on what to do. After thinking about it, i knew i was going to keep my baby, afterall it was MY baby, a little girl or boy I had made, and i was so proud already.

    Telling your parents is the most difficult thing to do, whatever the situation. I know alot of people say this, but the sooner you tell your mum the better. Seriously, don't expect her to be all happy and pleased for you, but most mums come round hun, after all, who would want to give up the chance of seeing their grandchild?

    I know what you mean about jobs, i still havn't been able to find one. I know its not alot, but loads of places are looking for temporary christmas workers, so if you search around you can more than likely get one of those ! Even though it will only be for a couple of months max, its better than nothing.

    Your fiance sounds great and its good that he will support you in what you choose. Just make sure you choose the right decision and choose it for YOU. Noone else, you do what you want to do. Don't think you've ruined your life, you havn't at all, your life will just take some major changes which i can garantee if you do keep this baby, will be changes for the better !

    Good luck :hugs:
     
  3. nikky0907

    nikky0907 Well-Known Member

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    It's good that your boyfriend will support you in whatever decision you make.
    If you aren't 100% sure that you want an abortion then you should do it.

    It can haunt you for a very long time if you do it for all the wrong reasons.
    I know it's not a good time right now,but it happened and you two need to face the consequences.
    Whatever decision you do make it will be with you for the rest of your life.

    I know how it is to be totally scared and confused but in the end the sooner you decide what you're gonna do the better.Because if you do decide to keep it you can immidiately start working things out with your family and boyfriend.
    You'll see how in the end it all works out for the best.
    When I found out I was terrified,by 12 weeks I was sooo excited!

    But then again,just look out for your options.One of them is even putting the baby up for adoption which is an incredibly selfless thing.

    Good luck! :hug:
     
  4. Aidan's Mummy

    Aidan's Mummy Mummy to Aidan and Oliver

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    hey hun

    Welcome to BnB

    im 16 and 32 weeks pregnant. I did consider an abortion but i knew i wouldnt be able to live with myself if i did so now 32 weeks on ive only got 7 weeks until i meet my lil man and im so excited, and now i know keeping him was the best decision i have ever made

    Its really good that your have you bf's support. As i know so many girls that havn'y got that. Me and my OH have been together 3 years and i really don't know what i would have done without him.

    Listen to your heart hunni and by the sounds of it it's telling you that you want this baby

    So i know its hard but sit your parents down and explain the situation and how you feel

    I did and i was scared that they would freak out but they have been amazing

    big hugs:hug:

    and good luck with whatever you decide
    xx
     
  5. jobee2222

    jobee2222 Well-Known Member

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    I reckon you should have a good long talk with your mum, you may well be surprised and remember she will back you up. I think when you see that you have her support you may come to the realisation that although it was not a planned pregnancy it doesnt make it an unwanted one.
     
  6. HatterasSarah

    HatterasSarah Mom of 1 boy =)

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    I have had an abortion before. I am 23 now, but had it when I was much younger. You have to really make sure that you're 100% sure you want an abortion before you do it. I regretted it the second I did it, and it haunts me every day of my life. I have a little boy now, but I think about the other baby every single day. Telling your parents is the hardest thing to do, but they will get over being upset and will LOVE their grandchild. You need to make the decision that is right for you, Good Luck!
     
  7. Dream.A.Dream

    Dream.A.Dream Mum to 6yo and WTT #2!

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    I agree with the others, don't get an abortion unless you're 100% sure it's what you want for yourself or you'll only regret it. I hope you can talk to your parents and that they'll support you in whatever decision you make xx
     
  8. aidensxmomma

    aidensxmomma 4 on Earth, Many in Heaven

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    Hey hun.

    I'm sorry everything is so confusing for you. That's how it was for me to. I am 17 right now and have a six month old son. I was only 16 when I got pregnant and when he was born. Let me tell you that keeping him was the best decision I have ever made in my entire life.

    I have just recently found a job and my boyfriend lost his a few months ago, so I know how you're feeling about that. And the job I have now, I work about 7 hours a week. But its better than nothing.

    As for telling your mom, here's how my mom found out: My mom thought I was trying to kill myself so the cops came and got me from my house. They brought me to a hospital over an hour away and ended up giving me a pregnancy test. It came out positive. Next thing I know the cops are calling my mom at 2 in the morning telling her that her 16 year old daughter is pregnant. But my mom came around and she loves her grandson more than anything. Even my grandma who was pushing for an abortion when she found out loves my son and babysits him everyday while I'm in school.

    So moral of the story, it will all work out. Just try to relax. And like the other girls have said, if you are not 100% sure about getting an abortion, then don't.
     
  9. kellysays2u

    kellysays2u Guest

    Do what you feel is best. Thats all I can say. I fought against my boyfriend to not have an abortion. I am so happy I did not have the abortion cause I know I would have regretted it everyday of my life. Every once in awhile I also regret being pregnant as so much is different but I am really happy about it. My boyfriend and I just recently got an apartment. He is the only one working and works at a grocery store so in the next couple weeks I HAVE to get a job luckily there is a local pharmacy/grocery store looking for all the help they can get.

    I hope you can figure this out hunny. If you need someone to talk to private message me(if you have msn aim or yahoo we can talk on there too... just let me know in the message). I promise I know exactly what you are going through. I was in the exact same situation about 7 weeks ago.

    Kelly (hugs)
     
  10. Jennavee

    Jennavee Guest

    Wow do i ever understand.. Im 16 will be 17 in a lil over 3 months.. Supposed to grad early this year and still plan to.. Ofcourse i also have the option to double my class load and be done by the end of jan early feb. My guy and i are engaged.. He is 19 soon to be 20... Where my situations is different is i got preg 1 time by mistake and he then said the whole not a good time thing.. Which i almost agree cuz we are young but i like u couldnt live with an abortion.. Well i lost the 1st baby at 10 weeks and somehow he changed his thought and i am now preg cuz we tried to be.. Which to some may not be a smart choice but after the emotion of the loss it made sense. So seein im fightin the same battle its hard to say.. The job thing is bad but where ur from do they offer programs to help young moms get jobs.. Help with food and housing and insurance?
     
  11. todteach

    todteach Dreams can come true

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    You have a really tough decision on your shoulders hun. :hugs: Just please be sure that whatever you and your fiance decide is a joint decision. Don't make up your mind just because he said. Okay? Sending you my love and support. :hug:
     
  12. Eeyore17

    Eeyore17 Active Member

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    Thank all of you guys so much for the advice and support. I guess, in my heart, I had already decided to keep it(I'm actually really exctited about it!), but I've been so confused with the lack of support so far...So afraid of what people might think as well...:sad1:

    Anyway, thanks Jennavee, I hadn't actually thought about anything like that. I'll have to look around and find out if we do have any programs like that around here.
     
  13. LilMama2be

    LilMama2be Mommy to a Princess

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    I'm 17 and 6 weeks pregnant.
    I found out when i was 5 weeks, and telling my mom, was not easy.
    But i'm glad i did it.
    and i am keeping my baby as well. my mom may not seem too hot on the idea of me with a baby, but she's there for me.
     
  14. JaydensMommy09

    JaydensMommy09 Engaged && Expectin #1

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    wow.. sounds jus like my situation... when i found out i was pregnant my bf was like u should abort it.. it hurt my feelings that he would want to do that 2 our child.. but then i had to understand that he isn't the one who has to deal with it for 9 months... i couldn't abort it so i ended up keeping it and i am soo excited but stressed out at the same time.. i just told me mom... Nothing you say can make the situation any better. I told her that my child is not the mistake only the timing. Once you tell her then the rest is easy. You will know when the right time is. Good Luck and CONGRATS ON UR PREGNANCY!!!
     

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