What do I tell my little girl ?

[DelicateAngel]

Yesterday me and my OH found out his mum's throat cancer is terminal Now I don't know how/when or what to tell my little girl.... She's 7 and has always been a very emotional and sensitive little girl, she's getting help from her school at the moment to help her with emotions etc when she finds herself in a difficult situation.

When my OH's dad passed away she was only 4 and to a degree took it ok, but now I don't know when is the best time to explain to her about granny and weather to take her to see granny while she's looking well before she deteriorates.

On top of that we have a baby due at the end of feb and for her at least I don't want her becoming more stressed and worried with everything going on around her if it makes sense?

Any advice from you guys would be very much appreciated xx

 

[Elli21]

Im sorry about your MIL

Personally, id tell her that her nan is poorly.
When my great nan died, i told my children she became a star, and everynight they can see the stars, shes waving to them.
Still to this day (she passed 3 years ago) my eldest will wave and say "ello nan"

xx

 

[DelicateAngel]

Thank you thats a lovely thing to say and I'm sure it makes your children feel much better about it all, Its a shame we have to tell our children these horrible things really xx

 

[Elli21]

Yes it is

But my daughter really does take comfort in it.
I believe my nan still looks down on us, and so when i say things about her being in the sky Leigha and Tom (more Leigha) really takes it on board.

Hope your little chat goes as well as it can xx

 

[onemoreplease]

awww what awful news my uncle has terminal cancer, he was told he had 2-3 years at most, that was 2 years ago and he is still going strong, not showing he is ill. when we found out we decided to tell our children (they are 5,3 and 1)when he was noticably ill, i didnt want them acting differently around him or being scared. as yet we still havent told them and we still visit him, spend lots of time making memories taking photos. when the time comes i will be honest and say the drs cant make him better and soon he will die and he will go to heaven. i will tell them that god needs another angel and their uncle was so kind that he was chosen. im not sure yet if we wil visit him with the children when gets bad but im .waying towards saying we will as i want them to spend time saying goodbye. its such an awful thing to go through at any age but aslong as you are open with her, im sure she will deal with it brilliantly.

 

[Ozzieshunni]

Never an easy thing. My MIL passed away a year ago and she had 4 grandchildren, ages 13, 4, 5, and 2 at the time. The 13, 4 and 5 year old were simply told the truth. Granny had been very sick and she's not here anymore but we still love her and will think good thoughts about her. My SIL told my niece (4) that Granny was in heaven. The two year old was too young to really understand, but I'm sure my BIL will talk to her about it when the time is right. I think the important thing is to talk about it and allow her to ask questions. It might be worthwhile to do some research online or find a children's book about loved ones passing away. There are some good ones out there. I hope this helps.

 

[lozzy21]

I wouldent tell her anything untill you need to ie starts looking ill but just say shes realy poorly. I wouldent tell her that shes never going to get beter at that age, its just going to hurt her more as she will constantly be wondering when its going to happen.