What do you do when LO cries so hard at bedtime they make themself sick?

[haggle-b]

My LO has rarely slept through. He normally self settles ok at bedtime but if he wakes at any point he screams until I take him into bed with me. Have tried laying him back down etc but he just stands up again and continues screaming. I decided to try a bit of controlled crying to see if this would help. The first night was actually at bedtime and within 40 mins of going in every 5 or so mins he was fast asleep. A week later when i tried it (this was a couple of hours after going to bed, so about 10pm) he was sick from the crying after 15 or so mins. Tonight I had to try it again at bedtime but he was sick a little bit after a few mins, so cleared him up, took him downstairs, waited 20 mins or so and started the bedtime routine again. The minute i put him down he was up and screaming and within 90 secs he had been sick everywhere. Obviously, ive had to clear him up and strip the bed so hes downstairs again, happy as can be crawling around. Gonna be a long night with him in my bed i guess.

Trouble is what do I do now? Hes got himself into a habit of being sick when he screams but I cant keep bringing him downstairs or into my bed when he does to avoid him being sick.

Anyone elses LO done this in the past? Any ideas how to tackle the sleep issues without using CC? Although anything which will leave him to cry for a bit eg pupd is probably gonna result in him being sick. HELP!!!

 

[candyfloss]

Ive never done cc or CIO, but did gradual withdrawal instead, where I slowly did less and less interaction with William at bedtime to encourage him to self settle. Did mean I spent a few weeks sat by his door as he fell asleep so not a fast solution!

I've always had the 'rule' that bedtime means not coming out of his room unless he's poorly and that seems to have worked well. If he got super upset at bedtime I'd put a small light on a read a couple stories or sit in the chair singing nursery rhymes until he was calm again then tell him it was time for bed, to lie down with his blanket and pillow and he could hold my hand til he was asleep.

Worked for us but as I said, time consuming. He's now happy to self settle, some nights he's happy chatting in his cot for up to 45mins and in the morning up to an hr!

Hope u find something that works for u soon xxxx

 

[OmarsMum]

Omar throws up if he cries at bedtime. He's a sicky baby in general. We dont do sleep training, but a couple of times he woke up at night & the monitor was off but we didnt notice it, & he ended up throwing up after few mins of crying. He also throws up if he's hurt & cries for few mins.

 

[Lu28]

Ive never done cc or CIO, but did gradual withdrawal instead, where I slowly did less and less interaction with William at bedtime to encourage him to self settle. Did mean I spent a few weeks sat by his door as he fell asleep so not a fast solution!

I've always had the 'rule' that bedtime means not coming out of his room unless he's poorly and that seems to have worked well. If he got super upset at bedtime I'd put a small light on a read a couple stories or sit in the chair singing nursery rhymes until he was calm again then tell him it was time for bed, to lie down with his blanket and pillow and he could hold my hand til he was asleep.

Worked for us but as I said, time consuming. He's now happy to self settle, some nights he's happy chatting in his cot for up to 45mins and in the morning up to an hr!

Hope u find something that works for u soon xxxx

This is pretty much how it worked for me too. I personally would do whatever it took for him not to be sick, even if that meant him sleeping in your bed for a while longer

 

[RachA]

I would suggest what candy floss said. It will take a while for it to work but at least you won't have a lo that is being sick all the time.

 

[Seity]

Gradual withdrawal sounds like what we did. I could never leave my LO to cry, so I didn't. I simply encouraged him to sleep with less intervention on my part.

 

[Mum2b_Claire]

Yeah what we did was pretty much gradual withdrawal. Never let Ruby cry as it just doesn't sit right with us, it was very time consuming but worth every minute IMO. She now settles without us in the room, she chats away for ages most nights but she is happy.

I would also make sure you are very aware of the 'right' time to put LO down. For us there is such a fine line between Ruby being not tired enough, and overtired. Overtired means a fuss at bedtime, or she is just hyper and plays in her cot for even longer. It took a while for us to work this out because we were so convinced the long winded bedtimes were because she wasn't tired enough, we would go for long walks, limit her naps, etc etc. But we were making things worse!

 

[haggle-b]

Thanks for all your replies. I have tried a smiliar thing in the past, stayed in the room with him, no eye contact, talking etc but I was there. Only needed to do it for a few nights because he then went back to self settling, i think he had been teething at the time.

This time however, its a different ball game. Like I said the majority of the time he self settles at bedtime but when he doesnt he just screams and screams.

Gradual withdrawal sounds like an option. Can I ask though, did your LOs still cry/scream when you were in the room? And if they did, what did you do? Ive got a feeling (and I may be wrong) that my LO will still scream with me in the room, he only stops when I cuddle him either whilst hes in the cot or when I get him out.

I know what you mean about getting the 'right' time to put them to bed. My LO gets tired and then has a mad 20mins of being hyper, then literally goes mad with tiredness. I need to react quickly and get him calmed down etc to take him to bed.

I keep hoping last night was a one off. I had to go to a meeting at my daughters school so OH had to do the bedtime routine. Trouble is Ive always put LO to bed (mistake I know, but its just how it happened), and he wont go down for my OH. OH tried by following my routine but LO was having none of it, by the time i got in, LO was overtired and didnt even want me to take him to bed, hence him being sick when I tried puting him up to bed.

I feel so useless as a mum. I have 2 older daughters who slept like a dream, these sleepless nights are all new to me and im struggling to find what works for LO and me.

 

[Seity]

The first few nights he was crying while I held him in the crib and soothed him until he calmed down. After that, I was able to be right next to the crib, but I didn't have to be holding him, just soothing him with singing. As I moved farther away, I'd 'go too far' and he'd start to fuss, so I'd just move a little closer and he'd be fine, so he sort of dictated how far away he was OK with and I'd test the limit a little until we got to the point I could simply put him in the crib awake and just walk out of the room.

 

[haggle-b]

Thanks seity for the info, that sounds doable and makes sense.

BTW, i love the piccy of your LO asleep in his swing (the 2nd picture), it always makes me smile when i see it.

 

[candyfloss]

If William was upset I'd pick him up but always put him back in bed to settle, so he knew that no matter what the fuss he'd still go back in his bed! But he would get the comfort hd needed too first he's never been a boy who would be calmed by stroking his back or anything less than a cuddle!