What do you think of....

[tina3747]

People who don't want and choose to not have children?

I suppose its really a silly question but seeing on Facebook a guy I know in his 20s has had a vasectomy, I know he doesn't have any kids and he's commented in the past that he doesn't want any but I just can't help feeling sorry for him that he'll never know that kind of love .

I know that's so patronising and this is Completly separate to those who can't have children and desperately want them but I just can't imagine CHOOSING to not have kids... The operation just seems So drastic!

What are your thoughts? Obviously everyone has their own (and are entitled to) opinions , I just wonder if they'll ever regret their situation when they're older and its too late.

 

[CMarie]

I personally think he was a little young to get a vasectomy, but to each their own. If he feels he made the right choice then good for him Having kids definitely isn't for everyone.

 

[Andypanda6570]

I think to each their own. Some people are just not made to be parents and a lot know that at an early age. Some also change their minds as they get older and have a child and some change their mind when older but it is to late that I think is sad. I think a lot of people who don't want kids just know and it is their choice and their right, and I don't have any problem with that.
Plus a vasectomy is reversible, isn't it? Like my mom for example don't know why in God's name she had me, she is not mother material she just doesn't have it in her, it is sad and I am glad I am here , but I think if a woman just knows she can't be a good mother then it is better not to have a child. I could never ever imagine my life without my boys, I would never feel complete if I didn't have my kids, again that is me though.

 

[whit.]

To each their own, none of my business. Maybe there are underlying issues of why he doesn't want to become a parent. It's reversible so if he changes his mind down the road he would have a decent chance of having babies if he wanted.

 

[Redfraggle]

A vasectomy reversal is rarely successful so shouldn't be relied upon if he changes his mind.

Personally I don't agree with any permanent forms of sterilisation unless it is for medical reasons but that is a personal thing and I can understand why people chooses it.

I guess because of my situation I would rather people didn't risk having children if they really don't want them. It's unbelievably painful to see people become parents and know they don't want to be. And surely every child has a right to be wanted?

 

[whit.]

I guess because of my situation I would rather people didn't risk having children if they really don't want them. It's unbelievably painful to see people become parents and know they don't want to be. And surely every child has a right to be wanted?

First,
Second, I agree. If he really doesn't want kids at least he isn't out sleeping around and trying to use other methods of protection. He was pretty proactive about the situation instead of having a baby he doesn't want or won't take care of.

 

[Baby France]

Its extremely rare for doctors to allow the go ahead for a vasectomy on someone so young who hasn't children.

In fact I'd be wondering whether he's telling the whole truth

My sister announced in our early twenties she never wanted kids, she's broody now and desperate to start trying. I can't seeing doctors allowing that mistake to happen. I mean, they give out FREE condoms? If you don't want kids, use protection

I think that its up to people on the decisions they make in regards to children. I personally can't understand it myself, but thats because I am one of those people who love children so

 

[Jess137]

I think that people have to make their own choices in life. I don't think someone is less of a person because they didn't procreate. Besides there are enough unwanted kids in this world, if someone doesn't want kids and takes efforts not to, then that prevents even more unwanted kids from being borrn. Imo.

Also I don't think anyone has the right to tell a grown person what they can and cannot do with their own body, ever.

 

[staralfur]

I never wanted children and was upset when I found out I was pregnant, to be completely honest...

Now of course I can't imagine my life without her and I want more kids because being a mom is such an amazing and rewarding experience. I feel sad thinking that I may never have experienced it by my own choosing.

Of course I never would've known what I was missing out on, but I do find myself looking at people who say they never want kids and wanting to say "But it's so great!"

 

[pinklightbulb]

I don't care if anyone is child-free by choice, they can't miss what they don't know and tbh not everyone wants to be responsible for another human being(s). My best friend is CF by choice and loves my sons dearly but would never have her own, and I respect that just as she respects I have had children by choice.

 

[Button#]

I agree it's better to actively prevent having children if you really don't want them as it'll be the children who suffer for it if they are unwanted.

My only concern would be that a vasectomy would encourage him to be lazy about having unprotected sex and it would increase the risk of him getting and potentially passing on STDs, but that's a whole different topic.

 

[lhancock90]

He must have had a pretty serious reason to convince even a private Dr.
Its a very personal decision tbh.
I do think hes taken it too young however.

 

[suzib76]

I agree, unless he had a medical reason or paid for it there is no way he would have been given a vasectomy

And let's face it, a woman would have to be crazy to trust a young guy that claimed he had had one

 

[Natsku]

Maybe he's a carrier of a serious genetic disease and got one because of that.

I think its fine that some people choose not to have kids, probably good really considering overpopulation in the world

 

[Eternal]

I know plenty of people who choose not to have kids,don't see the issue at all! people make choices on how many, 1, 2...11! Why not none? they enjoy their lives in other ways, travel, pets, eating out, hobbies.

Although I find it odd for someone do young to have been given the surgery, must be reasons why!

 

[Dragonfly]

I rather someone who didnt want children didnt have them. Why would I want a parent who didnt want their child to be a parent? thats unfair on a child and them. Thats up to them to make that permanent decision of vasectomy or hist. I know a man who made his 23 year old gf have her tubes tied. And to be honest they hate children and think children need beaten, so I am glad of that decision.

 

[Baby France]

I also think its a personal choice.

I just know that when my sister was younger (two of them in fact) were adamant that they were never having kids. One is currently NTNP and the other is considering getting a dog to curb her broodiness

But as for people who genuinely don't want them, its up to them really isn't it!

 

[Midnight_Fairy]

I think its their own choice

 

[Tasha]

I think totally his choice, but would hope that he has had lots of counselling t make sure that this was the right choice for him. I know plently of people who thought they never wanted children in their twenties but changed their minds in their thirties.

Matt wanted the snip after Kaysie Blossom was born, he was 25 with four children and I had medical reasons not to get pregnant again but he was told no, too young.

 

[Scottish mum]

Maybe the boy had other health issues leading to this surgery! I didn't want children until I was married. It's up to him least he can have a hangover, have money, have time to eat, finish a book within the year lol x