What Else Could Go Wrong.... :(

[MizzPodd]

Hi,

I posted my story on here about a week ago... I just got back from my post partum check up and my doctor just told us that the pathologist confirmed our baby was actually a GIRL... Not a boy... It feels like I am grieving all over again.... This whole time we thought it was a boy, and now I just don't know what to do. We already have everything completed with the boy information, social security number.... everything... I just had necklace made and engraved with our boy information on it... I am so overwhelmed now. Our ern has Dejuan Jr. on it. We have been getting so much much better dealing with this, and now we find out our boy was a girl... I am at my wits end... Now we have to change everything as far as birth cert. death cert. funeral information, tell family. Ladies I am so heartbroken and it feels like two swords have gone right through my heart. I have grieved for the loss of a boy, and now I have lost a girl... This is so hard to handle. It's bad enough they said the autopsy was fine, meaning our baby was perfectly fine. But to say oh it was really a girl. Oh my goodness I just lost a baby girl I just can't believe it...

 

[Andypanda6570]

I can't even imagine I am so deeply sorry. I know i waited 7 weeks for my results to find out why Ava died, they told me her cells did not grow so I will never know why she died Broke my heart.. You are in enough pain you didn't need this added pain I am just so sorry, I wish I could do more for you. I am here always if you ever need to talk....... XOXO
Andrea

 

[MizzPodd]

I can't even imagine I am so deeply sorry. I know i waited 7 weeks for my results to find out why Ava died, they told me her cells did not grow so I will never know why she died Broke my heart.. You are in enough pain you didn't need this added pain I am just so sorry, I wish I could do more for you. I am here always if you ever need to talk....... XOXO
Andrea

Andrea you are such a sweetheart. Thank you for your beautiful words, they truly helped me. And thank you for responding so quickly... I ws losing it, it felt that I got another slap to my face. I am getting better each day, but it is so confusing. I have been grieving a baby boy and had him and all the things I wanted for him in my mind, and now I have to realize I lost a baby girl instead. It is so hard to make an adjustment like this, and people outside this website that haven't experienced losses do not understand that it is not the same thing. Learning you lost a girl instead a boy is a huge deal... It is not the same thing, two different people... IDK I have been avoiding talking to others except my hubby because they just don't get it; even my mom. They understand that I don't want to talk to anyone right now so I appreciate their support in that way. Talking to you ladies helps, and having my hubby with me helps sooooo much.

 

[Andypanda6570]

Believe me I know exactly how you feel What shocked me sooooo much is how nobody understands, they all think u grieve a bit and move on. They have no conception of this pain & never will I have nobody to talk to and have to keep so much hidden. I am waiting to hear back from a counselor, I need to talk to someone, I was doing ok till my Sister-In-Law got pregnant and thank God I do not see her all the time, but when i do I have to keep myself composed and it is hard to do. She is 27 weeks and when she holds her belly and says "oh the baby just kicked" it takes all I have in me not to breakdown Now also there is another problem. I confronted my Mother-In-Law because I had a feeling if my Sister-In-Law has a girl she may name her Sofia........ That is Ava's middle name and I just do not feel my SIL should use it. I am not talking to any of them at the moment When i confronted my MIL she said I think my daughter liked that name first I said i lost my baby don't you understand this, there are 100's of names , please ask her not to use Sofia. Why do i have to be reminded of my loss all the time with Sofia? How she could do this is beyond me. If she uses that name I will not speak to them anymore. Nobody understands my pain and that hurts.. XOOX I am always here for u..XOXOOXOXOX

 

[Pink_Sparkle]

I have read your story, I am so sorry this has happened to you. Life is sooo cruel. Thinking about you xx

 

[kiki04]

Awww hun I am so sorry Thats a huge blow and not what you needed right now.

 

[MizzPodd]

Believe me I know exactly how you feel What shocked me sooooo much is how nobody understands, they all think u grieve a bit and move on. They have no conception of this pain & never will I have nobody to talk to and have to keep so much hidden. I am waiting to hear back from a counselor, I need to talk to someone, I was doing ok till my Sister-In-Law got pregnant and thank God I do not see her all the time, but when i do I have to keep myself composed and it is hard to do. She is 27 weeks and when she holds her belly and says "oh the baby just kicked" it takes all I have in me not to breakdown Now also there is another problem. I confronted my Mother-In-Law because I had a feeling if my Sister-In-Law has a girl she may name her Sofia........ That is Ava's middle name and I just do not feel my SIL should use it. I am not talking to any of them at the moment When i confronted my MIL she said I think my daughter liked that name first I said i lost my baby don't you understand this, there are 100's of names , please ask her not to use Sofia. Why do i have to be reminded of my loss all the time with Sofia? How she could do this is beyond me. If she uses that name I will not speak to them anymore. Nobody understands my pain and that hurts.. XOOX I am always here for u..XOXOOXOXOX

OMG I am so sorry sweetie I do not understand the thinking that people have sometimes.... The children we lost are not just some things, they are little humans... I think she should respect the loss of your precious Ava and realize how hurtful it is if she names her child Sophia. I honestly do not know if I would be able to even be around them with the way they are acting. PM me and let's talk more. I will be here for you when you feel alone. I know the feeling and I want to help you through this, just like you and many other ladies are helping me... That breaks my heart that someone could be that inconsiderate
I cannot imagine having to deal with that and hearing that name everytime you are around family after they know what loss you went through. PM me okay.

 

[moon.peach]

That just seems awfully cruel of your Mother-In-Law. They should at least take into consideration of your loss! Especially having to be around your pregnant SIS. You take as much time as you possibly need to grieve and recover; it seems they really are ignorant to your pain. The names were carefully picked out and that should be respected.

MizzPodd: I can never or pretend to, understand the loss of your little girl and having another blow like that about the gender. She is an angel now and is with you, in your heart, forever. The pain must be almost unbearable We are here for you though and send many prayers your way.