What has helped you heal emotionally after your loss?

[heart tree]

Hi ladies. First off, I want to say I'm sorry we all have to get to know each other in this forum. But, I'm glad we found each other.

I was thinking that it might be nice to start a thread about things that have helped us get through our loss (or losses). I would love some inspiration from you all. I also think it might be a good thread for the new women who join this forum.

What's helped me to keep going is:

• Lots of hugs
• Talking to friends and family
• Dancing!
• Yoga
• Snuggling with DH and watching a good movie
• Exercise
• A glass of wine
• Crying
• Sewing purses - (am getting quite good at this one!)
• Light, easy reading like Twilight (guilty pleasure!)
• Being able to talk to you all who understand

What has helped you?

Baby dust and love to you all!

xoxo

 

[padbrat]

Great idea Heart Tree...
I am just starting to feel semi normal... still in pain... but

My wonderful husband
My noisy and boisterous furby (furry baby) Blaze
My friends... many of whom have no idea what has happened
My holiday in July to Florida
The thought of cocktails on Saturday
Cleaning my house (sad I know)
and of course all of you wonderful ladies in B&B xx
(couldn't do it without you)

 

[NatoPMT]

Dancing and singing for me too, in the shower. To Hall and Oates songs

ooOOoo say it isnt soooo, OooOOooo

just like that.

 

[NatoPMT]

i wanna see pics of said sewn purses please

 

[padbrat]

Hall and Oats Nato????? LOL

 

[heart tree]

i wanna see pics of said sewn purses please

I've completed one and am almost done with the second one. Am at work right now, but will try to post pic tonight.

Singing Hall and Oates in my mind now!

 

[heart tree]

Great idea Heart Tree...
I am just starting to feel semi normal... still in pain... but

My wonderful husband
My noisy and boisterous furby (furry baby) Blaze
My friends... many of whom have no idea what has happened
My holiday in July to Florida
The thought of cocktails on Saturday
Cleaning my house (sad I know)
and of course all of you wonderful ladies in B&B xx
(couldn't do it without you)

Padbrat, I know your current loss was very recent. I'm glad you still have some perspective on what can help you through it this time. Where in Florida are you going? My mother lives there in the winter. Near Tampa. Have a lovely time. It will be VERY hot in July!

Cleaning has helped me too! Something about creating order out of chaos calms my mind.

Thanks for sharing.

 

[africaqueen]

The number 1 thing that has kept me going is my unwavering determination to become a mother I just picture holding our baby and it gets me through the bad times.

Also i have had good support network and talking to u ladies has helped a lot as u have all sadly felt how i felt xxx

 

[heart tree]

Anyone else?

 

[naderz]

hey girls, im hoping for a sticky too. mc 4th oct09 and 4th april10. and to everyone xx

 

[heart tree]

Naderz, welcome to the forum. So sorry about your losses. The last one was so recent. How are you doing? I hope you find the support you are looking for here.

xoxo

 

[heart tree]

i wanna see pics of said sewn purses please

Here's the first purse I've made. Almost done with the second one. Hope to finish this weekend!

 

[Lindyloo]

I love the purse heart tree... It's amazing

I only experienced my loss a month ago and although it's really tough most days still I couldnt have done it without everyone here who has answered some of my really silly posts!!!

Other than that Exercise, I run but also recenlty started yoga.
My OH is great and keeps those hugs coming when every they are needed and we talk loads about everything.
I am lucky enough to have 2 wonderful boys already who are 7 and 10 ( from previous relationship) and I have had to hold it together for them and I am doing far more with them because my loss (as I am sure many others have) has made me feel that life is too precious and I dont want to miss a moment with them.
And finally.... the knowledge that we are TTC again ( waiting for the all clear from Dr re infection) and that one day we will be able to hold our miracle.

Sorry... I rambled a bit!!

 

[padbrat]

Great idea Heart Tree...
I am just starting to feel semi normal... still in pain... but

My wonderful husband
My noisy and boisterous furby (furry baby) Blaze
My friends... many of whom have no idea what has happened
My holiday in July to Florida
The thought of cocktails on Saturday
Cleaning my house (sad I know)
and of course all of you wonderful ladies in B&B xx
(couldn't do it without you)

Padbrat, I know your current loss was very recent. I'm glad you still have some perspective on what can help you through it this time. Where in Florida are you going? My mother lives there in the winter. Near Tampa. Have a lovely time. It will be VERY hot in July!

Cleaning has helped me too! Something about creating order out of chaos calms my mind.

Thanks for sharing.

Hey Heart Tree

yes, my loss is recent, but having already m/c twice before I think I knew what to expect and that helps.

We have a house in Davenport, Orlando and we were going to stay there for a week and then travel around Florida for a bit. We have already been to the keys and of course the orlando area and also out to Clearwater and St Petes and over to Miami and Fort Lauderdale... so we were thinking of heading north a bit... any recommendations? It is something for me to focus on that cheers me up. Though we have just heard that we might have a long term tenant back in there, so we might just change our plans and just spend the whole 2 weeks touring around Florida!

Spent the whole of yesterday cleaning and have destroyed 2 statues... am so clumsy lately. One of them my husband bought for our anniversary when he was in Canada... was heartbroken and cried for ages and eventually called him (he was away with work) and told him... he laughed and said that meant he would just have to take me shopping for another one.... Love him so much

 

[lovehearts]

The things that have got me through are:
- my OH, he has been a rock!
- my bestest friend
- people at work who i never thought would be support have been fantastic.
- My holiday in 2 weeks.
- The fact my AF has shown up and we are TTC again
- The fact that i know ONE day i will hold my bubba in my arms - be it in a year or 10 years i WILL get there!

One thing i always think that seems to make me feel like isnt that bad is : someone else has always got it worse than me and they still have the strength and determination to keep going and so will i.

 

[Mummy2Angel.]

Love the purse

Well after my first pregnancy ending in a MMC, discovered at a routine scan,and D&C on april 6th 2010 these are the things that have helped me -

*My wonderfull OH
*Doing things to remeber my angel max
*Going to los counciler
*spending every penny i have
*Cleaning like a crazy lady takes my mind of things
*having a good cry
*lots of ben and jerrys cookie dough

great idea for a thread

 

[heart tree]

Padbrat, I don’t know Florida very well, just the area where my mother has a condo. My favorite places in Florida have all been in the Keys. What a wonderful thing to do. I hope it is healing. I know what you mean about knowing what to expect this time around. In some strange way, my second loss was easier because I knew more than I did the first time around.

Lovehearts, have a great holiday in 2 weeks! Where are you going? I’m so happy AF showed up and you can TTC again. This is my first month trying again. I’m in the TWW right now. It is thrilling and nerve wracking all in one!

Mummy2Angel, ice cream and spending money are definitely great ways to help heal! I’m also glad to hear you sought out professional help. Sometimes it’s the best thing to do.

All the ladies, I’m thrilled to hear about everyone’s OH/DH. They each sound wonderful and supportive.

 

[debgreasby]

Having a pyjama day every now and then and letting myself experience the feelings i have rather than putting on a "happy face"

 

[heart tree]

Having a pyjama day every now and then and letting myself experience the feelings i have rather than putting on a "happy face"

That's a great one Deb! Think I'll do that soon!

 

[Ten]

Things everyone else hasn't mentioned:

- my cats
- getting to know ladies on boards like this one
- making a list of things I'd like in life BESIDES a baby and working on those goals
- scouting yard and church sales for baby clothes and other good gear
- cooking myself good, nutritious meals
- putting a mix of music on my iPod to cheer and distract me